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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

2006-12-03 07:58:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

15 answers

lmao

2006-12-03 08:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by Urbanchik901 3 · 0 0

a guy is on a strolling holiday and is miles removed from the closest city while he comes for the time of a farmhouse. as this is 10.00 pm and getting darkish he knocks on the door that's responded by employing a prior shaped previous usa gent. "can i help ya?" Asks the farmer squinting on the stranger. "i desire so sir." solutions the guy. "i'm on a strolling holiday and miles from everywhere and that i grow to be thinking if i'd desire to in all likelihood stay the evening." "honestly, youthful fella." got here the respond, "are not getting many visitors round her. the enterprise would be effective.Come on in." the guy enters and interior a couple of minutes is sat in front of a heat hearth with a extensive glass of moonshine in his hand. The farmer additionally has one and a small hickory pipe clamped between his enamel which he puffs on as they take a seat. they start speaking and after some glasses the hiker says. "thank you on your hospitality sir, yet i'm feeling a splash drained and might p.c. to bypass to mattress." "Ah particular,." Says the farmer hesitantly, "difficulty is, we've only have been given 2 bedrooms. i'm in one, and my daughter's in the different. Do you strategies bunking up along with her?" "under no circumstances, sir, no count if it particularly is high quality." solutions the guy pleasantly shocked. "effective it particularly is. Now you bypass up. First door on the ideal of the stairs. i'm going to shout you day after today including your breakfast." next morning at six o'clock sharp the farmer shouts upstairs. "Come on youthful fella. Breakfast's waiting." Down got here the hiker, yawning a splash and sat right down to a super plate of eggs, 1st baron beaverbrook, sausages, mushrooms, hash browns and beans. As he ate he appeared on the farmer and mentioned. "you realize sir, i'd desire to congratulate you on your hospitality, yet i've got a splash confession to make. element is that as quickly as I slipped into mattress including your daughter i could no longer help, nicely you realize, cuddling up and getting extra useful acquaited, in order that as shall we the two shop heat, and as you will possibly assume one element led to a diverse, yet, i'm going to tell you what. She isn't 0.5 chilly." "i'm no longer shocked." mentioned the farmer laconically, "We bury her this afternoon!"

2016-10-13 22:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

How many times do you people need to keep on rposting this joke. Its getting really lame. Ive seen it 9 times in the last two days.

2006-12-03 08:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lia*808 3 · 0 2

Awesome joke. Men can be patronizing sometimes, so when the tables are turned...........lol.

2006-12-03 08:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

That is hilarios. I should show that to my bro and see how he responds!

2006-12-03 08:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mary H 2 · 1 0

ha ha

2006-12-03 08:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by Secret Service But I Got My Own SK 1 · 0 1

funny

2006-12-03 08:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by Viren 3 · 0 0

LOL, that was a good one!!

2006-12-03 08:12:49 · answer #8 · answered by Rhiannon. Stay[[+]] 4 · 0 0

heard it before and laughed all over again.

2006-12-03 08:01:33 · answer #9 · answered by TERRI T 3 · 1 1

wowza

2006-12-03 08:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by lucky charms ♥ 2 · 1 0

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