HELP! Want the man i will be with to understand i saved myself 4 the sake of love, affraid there is no hymen?

Question

i have already posted this question b4, but didnt get enough answers! PLEASE HELP! was upbrought in a traditional family, so it is logical i always had a dream to stay pure till the marriage. I find it to be very romantic and nice to shiver from nervousness in my husband's arms and so on. However, i was riding a horse in my childhood, i start my day with several miles on a gym bike and so on. So it is a great chance that all these physical activities have broken my hymen. It would a complete desaster for me, cause i want the man i will be with to understand that i saved myself in the sake of love, even though sometimes it is not an easy task to manage to control urself. So i never allow myself anything, but still there is a chance that because of this physical activities the man i will be with will not understand that i never had anything before. I wanna know in advance if the sacred thing is still there or not, but dont know how can i know this. thx.

Answer 1

Go talk to a doctor. But even if you're partially torn, the way your muscles are used during the "honeymoon activity" is different, and the activity is different from those you've experienced, you will most likely have the nerve thing going on and the tearing a nd bleeding and good stuff like that.

Answer 2

Often the hymen gets broken. Your husband will trust you or he shouldn't marry you. You will probably discuss sex before you get married. When a woman has had sex her vagina becomes a little larger than when she was a virgin. I am sure everything will be fine, he will know that you are a virgin. Any man that doesn't believe you is not husband material. It is one thing to be brought up in a traditional way but quite another to enter into an abusive marriage because you are led to believe that there can be no communication between husband and wife. A wife is equal to her husband. She should submit, yes, but that does not make her less that the man. He should be kind and understanding and gentle and respectful. I do not just mean in terms of sex but in every area of your marriage.
Stop fretting. You are a virgin. You know you are and if a man is any good for you he will know too because you say so!!

Answer 3

Having an intact hymen does not equal virginity---the thing can actually re-attach if you go long enough without sex, which has happened to me. Further, I think you are worried about a whole lot of nothing. Why would you bother with a man who would not understand the famale anatomy? Frankly, most of them understand that a woman's hymen can be broken in many ways. I mean, even tampons can whack the things out of place... and as long as you're not using some really big sex toy or something, there will likely be at least a little bit of blood the first time you have sex. The hymen goes up pretty high....many women don't completely break the thing until after they've given birth.

Answer 4

I think it's nice you're saving yourself. I also know that there are virgins out there without a hymen(sp) due to activities. However, the reality of it is, you can't change what's not there if it's not, worrying about it won't bring it back. and really, an educated (key word here) and educated man already knows that a hymen can be torn by many activities, even riding a bike. Nothing you can do about it now, might as well stop thinking about it :)

Answer 5

You're right - ample physical activity such as sport or horse riding can possibly rupture the hymen. Your chosen man should love you enough to understand this if you explain it, and should trust you enough to believe what you say.

I was always told that the surest sign of virginity is shyness and embarassment.

Incidentally, my wife and I were both virgins when we married and with hindsight I think it was a big mistake to both be so inexperienced when going into marriage. But don't let that influence you - I think your high moral standards at this time are truly admirable.

Answer 6

He will know that you are a virgin.. I dont mean to offensive here but when having sex with a virgin she will be very tight..
Hymen, is different is different women.. Some women you can feel it like a big blockage..But will other women it is less so.. Will all your physical activity it will still be there. .. but will just be a little snap.. and if he he making love slowly he should be sensitive enough to feel that snap... but therer will probably be No blood or anything like that...
They old movies where a woman on her first time has blood everywhere are a bit of a myth.. it only happens to some...

Answer 7

Well, as you have already stated, the hymen is not the indicator of virginity as it can tear in many other activities.

To know if your hymen is still intact, look at yourself! I have listed a link that talks about hymens and has a picture of a vagina so that you can compare it with your own.

If your husband loves you and trusts you he won't care whether you have a hymen or not, and will trust that you are a virgin, knowing that you are telling him the truth.

Answer 8

The hymen can easily be broken so it is not uncommon to not be there. Don't be so worried and just let your man know the senerio... Would he really leave you if he found out it was broken??? I bet hes just happy to have you... with or without a hymen

Answer 9

Don't worry about it. Tell it to him exactly like you just told thousands of us. If he's really your man and your love, he'll understand without a single problem with you not having your hymen. It's completely natural.

Answer 10

I hope you are saving yourself for marriange, and not just a great boyfriend. You may have to explain the situation to him. It is a known fact that a woman can lose her hymen without sex, but maybe one he doesn't know. Trust will be key here.