My friend... (Shayden to be exact...) is suffering because a really good friend of his ..named Devon died in an accident. His car got hit by a train .. him and his father were killed.
Now Shayden has lost all his hope in God.
He doesn't believe in him.. and his is going to end up wasting his life over something that he thinks souldn't of happened.
It's a touchy subject.. I wasn't close to Devon like Shay was. I don't want to say something that will hurt his feelings but I know God didn't do it to hurt him. I'm worried about Shayden, because i care about him alot. He is a great guy.. and doesn't deserve to make his life worse.
Is there anything anyone can sugest that will help me talk to him alittle easier about this.. or anything that I can say to make him realize that everyone dies .. and he can't help it that it was Devon who had to go?
I would really appriciate it.
God bless..... Danielle
2006-12-03 06:07:23 · 12 answers · asked by Danielle (: 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Dear Danielle;
I am very sorry for your loss. Right now, your friend needs to grieve, It is a process everyone goes through when a loved one is lost. This is normal. You are in the situation to help him by your presence. By consoling your friend, and reassuring him. That you care. I do not know how long it has been, but grieving can go on for a lifetime with some.
You must know, that God takes no pleasure when any of His children, young or old die. It was as you said, an accident. A series of unforseen circumstances that came together. God does not conspire against us.
Unfortunately, death comes to us all. This was passed onto us by our first parents, Adam and Eve.
Pray for you friend, help him in any way you can. Until Jesus comes again, the process of birth and death will continue.
I am enclosing some passages from the Bible, that may help you and your friend.
" To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die" " a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted." "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; " "A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4,7.
"While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease."
Genesis 8:22."
"and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." Matthew 28:20.
Thanks you for the blessing, I return it to you double fold. God loves you and your friend!
Donald
2006-12-03 06:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why does Shayden assume that God caused this accident? Does he entertain the thought that human error might have caused it? Why do even Christians blame God for all mishaps except things they consider evil. We aren't puppets. If I step in front of a fast moving car, I doubt that God is going to prevent me from doing so. I don't believe it is God that distracts us and causes mishaps like this. You may just have to be there for Shayden, pray for him (silently) and let him heal and come to his own conclusions.
2006-12-03 14:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by neptune 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We make decisions all our life. Shaydens friend made the decision to get in the car. Sometimes decisions lead to death. Sometimes to life. Where was GOD during all this? Watching and honoring man's decision, no matter what they were. Where was GOD in all this? Waiting for someone to ask him a simple question such as : Should I go for a drive? or a prayer such as "Lord I ask you to bless this journey" Either way, where was GOD in all this. Why blame GOD. Why blame the innocent bystander. Did anyone even ask GOD to intervene. I expect not.
2006-12-03 14:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by TROLL BOY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question...
WHy did God take Devon away from him...?
Tell him about Lot and how he was tested by God ( Satan did all he could to make him change his beliefs) , and how he will be a stronger Christain because of this..
Tell him its ok as he will meet Devon in heaven..
God gives everbody a free hand in life. Only problem is that other peoples mistakes affect others...
He should be happy for Devon as he has gone to heaven..
Through suffering he will be a stronger person and we can never understand Gods purpose for everybody in life
Frankly i dont believe in God,, but this is what i would tell him if i was Christain.. hope this helps
2006-12-03 14:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by rup 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all I would like to extend my deepest sympathy for you and your friends loss.
My friend died very suddenly at 31 years old, my pastor died and I was so devastated, my co-worker was killed in 911 when the towers went down. This year my grandpa died my and my favorite uncle died within weeks apart.
Danielle when a person express their grief and sadness the best thing you can do is hold their hand, listen to their concerns as well as hugs this person while they cry bitter tears, There is nothing you can say but I would encourage you to pray to God about what to say .
Shayden needs you prayers and the prayers of others to help him. Death is not something you get over it is something you get through, you cant make Shayden realize this this is something he needs to go through and learn for himself. The best thing you can do for him is to be there for him and encourage him.
God pray and time heals all wounds but it is going to take time
2006-12-03 14:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Danielle - first I want to say that I am sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like Shay really does need some spiritual guidance, or just someone that can help him talk about his feelings. When we lose someone close to us, it sometimes makes us re-examine our own lives, and what we have accomplished so far. Shay may be feeling that Devon had more reasons to live then himself, even though we have no part in what has happened we start feeling like "it should have been me"...I hope Shay can find someone to talk to that will help him sort out his feelings. In the meantime, don't give up on Shay, keep him company, show him love and understanding, try to encourage him to talk, and bless you for caring.....
2006-12-03 14:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it helps your friend, I have friends of my church who are christians and they love the Lord, their son was ran over by a car one morning and he died, they prayed over him before he went to the hospital and everything, so that there would be a possibility that he would make it through, but he didn't, they don't blame God for anything, they know that the Lord is their comforter and that every moment of grief they have He will provide comfort. (Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 51:3; Isaiah 61:2; Acts 9:31) Let your friend know that we all will die someday, just make sure that he is saved and never give up on the Lord as He will never give up on him. If he asks the Lord is ready to comfort him and accept his sorrows. Tell him to remember Jesus and how He suffered for us. Even though he may give up on God, He will never give up on him. Some people die premature deaths because of the things they spoke in their lives, or how they lived their lives, if we speak evil or bad things in our lives, it will pass. That's why the bible says that death and live are the power of the tongue Proverbs 18:21/ james 3:2,not saying that's what his friend did, but tell him to ask God but never give up praising, praying and this too shall pass, he will be comforted. God bless .
2006-12-03 14:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by mskash 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
People that are experiencing grief are not interested in your opinion. You will try to make them think that you know how they feel, but you cannot possibly know that. The best that you can do is to just be who you are. After a while they will naturally retuyrn to the person they were before the loss. I have lost too many loved ones in my life time and it never gets easy but the ones who helped me the most were the ones that were just there, Speechless but genuine and held me up by not becoming something they were not, and made allowances for me while I searched my way through the sorrow.
2006-12-03 14:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by messenger 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
God didn't drive that car in front of that train. We all have a time to die. It was their time. Even those persons we read about in the New Testament, who were resurrected from the dead, later had to die.
Sometimes we cut our own time to die short by careless, irresponsible behavior or by testing God with our behavior.
2006-12-03 14:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the last thing to do is to preach at him; it will only backfire.
be there as a friend for him.
someday, he may be ready to look at soirituality, Christian or otherwise, or he may not. But you can't force that upon him, he needs to grieve, to deal with his feelings, and eventually to move on.
If you're really his friend, just support him - don't look to be his shepherd.
2006-12-03 14:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋