My parents always fight...?

Question

Today my mom told me she wanted to move out. Also said the "F word" to my father several times and it's making me sad... Sometimes I want them to get a divorce. My mom hates me, and my dad hates her, and she hates him. I want to make them divorce, or settle their arguements!!!!! They fight EVERY day!!!!!!What should I do?

I am 12. They are 34. I have an older sister and a younger brother, both 2 years from me. I can't talk to them, my mom has a bad temper today, and my dad always does.

After that, my mom get's furious and says she's gonna run away, my dad swears, and I cry.
Later they pretend to be happy and like it was nothing and get mad for w/e I did wrong that day or week.

Answer 1

You dont have a choice sorry. Its what they want to do.

Answer 2

Your a child its not your place to get involved in their problems. All couples fight some more then others. At some point your parents will either stop the fighting or divorce. My folks fought alot when I was young mostly because of the stress from their jobs which always seems to come to a head when they got home. I too wanted for many years them to divorce and get it over with but thankfully they did not and they resolved their problems and were married until the day my mom passed. All the advice I can give is stay out of it, stay out of the way, and go outside, to a friends house or to your room when they fight.

I have two kids a 13yr old and a 6 month old and if either of them felt the way you did I sure would want to know so I could fix my own behavior.

You said your mom wants to run away. She's to old to run away, and I doubt your mom hates you she's just angry and redirecting it at you.

Answer 3

Try the optimistic approach first - which involves quite a lot of work. When they're both calm, sober, etc, sit them down and tell them simply, "You two fight all the time. I can't take it any more. I don't want you two to divorce. I want us to get along as a family." Then you need to figure out what makes them fight, and what makes your mom hate you (I bet she doesn't really hate you - she probably lets out her anger on you, because people usually choose someone in a more junior/weaker position to do this and you're close at hand). Hopefully, their fighting just boils down to a few problems, such as the fact your parents both work yet your dad expects your mom to do all household duties. Or the fact your mom spends a lot more than the family can afford. These problems aren't usually easily solved, but you've got to try and help solve them. And perhaps grow up a lot in the process.

Answer 4

u can't make them divorce, but i understand what u mean.
if they split up at least the screaming and shouting will stop, huh?
time 2 tell them how u feel, how their arguing is affecting u and ask them is it fair?
ask them 4 some respect and consideration, if they wanna fight, they'll have 2 take it out of the home, coz they're making u very very unhappy and they must do something soon as it'll affect ur grades, ur future and ur well-being.
remind them they have a responsibility 2 u as well as 2 themselves.
good luck, hope u can get thru 2 them.
sounds like they could do with having their heads bashed 2gether, knock some sense in2 them!
silly parents, eh?
never realise there's others in the family affected by their selfish behaviour.

& i send a cyber hug 2 u.

Answer 5

My parents fought all the time when i was younger as well.. I think you should sit them down lay out how you feel.. tell them that it is hurting you to witness there behavior.. Hopefully then they will make a better choice about what to do or realize how this effects you.. They are adults and someone younger making a good point may make them see how wrong they are going about this.. I hope this helps you.. i know it isn't fun.. Good luck


Ok if they have a bad temper.. then i would possibly talk to an adult who may be able to guide you better.. possibly a teacher or school counselor. I don't want you to get hurt.. I think having a adult to turn to.. is the best bet.. maybe find a way to get a mediator to sit with you and the family as you all talk about it.. that way if your parents feel like blowing a fuse that will calm them.. still good luck my heart goes out to you

Answer 6

You cannot get involved in your parents arguments but explain to them how much this is upsetting you. They might not have realised how this is affecting you. Could you not speak to another member of your family about this, a Grandma, Aunty or something maybe they could help? Familys are there for support, use them.
Talk to friends and share your problems, most familys have been through this at some stage, get support from those closest to you.
Most of all, dont blame yourself. You might think you mother hates you but am sure she does not. She will be feeling, angry, vunerable, upset and taking it out on those closest to her.
Why not phone childline and talk to trained people who can give you help and advice through this - 0800 1111
All the best.

Answer 7

locate a psychologist accessible! also, in case you bypass to school, and this wrestle between your dad and mom you've gotten to get a communique with a counselor on your college because those who stay with dad and mom that wrestle each of the time, mostly you've a tendency to sense depressed ( and in many situations motives rigidity), and perhaps different reactions are actual no longer regular. i'm no longer effective if those reactions as an celebration is one among them you're having in this challenge contained in the living house. ask your self: a million.What are my reactions in the direction of this challenge between my dad and mom? 2.What are my regularly occurring habit I many times act out and in of the living house before the wrestle began? 3.What were the habit differences I absolutely have with the help of the years as fights continued or stronger? 4. What change into the courting my dad and mom in the direction of me before, after and through the wrestle? 5.Do I absolutely have any friend or a pal i visit get help to keep me probability-free and chuffed at the same time as searching a specialist help? 6. What are the options I absolutely have as a baby seeing this terrible difficulty with my dad and mom? .. etc So, contained in the period in-between write those questions and answer them actual. Then, locate a specialist hlep which contain a relatives therapist or a psychologist ( which the psychology help shoul be the first) . If dad and mom received't help you in any respect ( Which i visit't doubt!) get a help with a reliable pal that can help you locate a specialist help so this challenge between dad and mom would not reason you to regulate your atittude, in case you opt for to have a regular existence. i'm very sorry that it is the purely answer as a tenet I absolutely have for you. each thing else is on your palms . you should come to a decision between both roads: help and No help. i'm so sorry . :( imagine before you act.

Answer 8

So sorry I went through this very same thing and they did not split until I was 18 because they were staying together FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS (me & my sister).

So TELL THEM it is OK with you and even better for you (and it is better!) if they go their separate ways, that you will support that. If you don't say anyhting they might think you are afraid of them splitting up when really it is exactly the opposite.

By the way once my folks split they got along great again, went on dates & stuff, it was a lot nicer!

Good luck!

Answer 9

"hate" is a strong word.... there is something that keeps them together even though they fight everyday... it is either their love for each other deep down or their love for you. above all, their love for you is stronger than you realize.

try to sit them down and tell them how you feel. let them know that you would rather them go their seperate ways than to live in a house where they fight constantly and get really mean.

maybe you should talk to a counselor at school, but more than that, i think you should talk to your parents.

you are almost an adult now, and they will have to respect you... if nothing else you will be calling them out on their wrong doing, and maybe they will at least fight behind closed doors where you can't hear.

give it a try. i am a mother and if my child felt this way i would want her to tell me.

♥

Answer 10

First of all, there are no guarantees in life to anyone, period.

Family relationships have got to be worked at and on.
There are many rough patches on the road of life, and how we navigate those patches becomes the real challenges.

Every man, every woman come from different backgrounds,
ethnic groups, (races) colors and creeds.
When you place two of those persons together(one man, one woman) you are hoping that the per centages of marital success will be on an upward trend, not a downward trend.
And this endowment includes the DNA or genetic spread or
DNA inheritance, and therefore carry over many of the genetic
characteristics, both recessive and predominant to the married
couple on both sides of the gender line.

Thats science, and I would like to offer a statement constructed for you to understand.
You mom and dad have many fine qualities, and continue to carry them to this day. Otherwise they never would have married.
The issues they are currently experiencing sound serious but
not unresolvable.

Both of them should stand back, and begin to re-evaluate their
emotions and feelings toward each other, and count thier
current blessings, however small.
Remember, there are millions who are jobless, homeless,
those who serve in the US Military in the Middle East, and those
who are literally starving to death, from one cause or another,
and those who will not sit down to a fresh hot turkey dinner
with all the trimmings, that scene is no more than a dream for them.

The point is, there are those people in far more desperate
need than some of us, and we who live in better social conditions should do what we can to help.

But, you need to know more immediate remedy for your situation.
Try to understand both your mother's position and your father's
position, all of you must work harder at understanding each other's shortcomings or lack of personality traits in their character
profile.
Calling each other names and obscenities does not help, try to
refrain from that kind of behavior, including you, as it will serve no
purpose, and just add more fuel to the negative fire.

Try to get involved with family projects where you all share in
something in common, painting an outside fence, re-organizing the garage and attic, renovating the family kitchen, or bedroom or bathroom, going out on the trail to ride your mountain bikes, visit
Yosemite Falls, organize field trips to discover items in natural science, observe the Holidays, spend time with grandma and grandpa, or seniors in general. Do recordings for the blind.

The point is that the entire family does these projects together, not alone or piece meal.

All of you must give to each other, not take, take, take, that method just does not work, and holds no water.
Look for ways to give positive re-inforcement, not negative
vitriole, look for the good, and ignore the bad, if possible.
Don't be so quick to crticize, anyone can criticize, but not
everyone offers useful and constructive suggestions to help others, or themselves.

Project good karma, send out positive zen (enlightenment
through meditation of intuition) strongly believe in it, and soon
you will find that the energy inside you will have trippled.
There is something to feng shui, by the way, look into it.
If you fill your entire being with all positive re-inforcement, it
will have no room for any negativity, of any kind.

Also, pray to the religion of your choice, and let your higher power
take over, to be your forttress or rock, a strong crutch to lean on,
and let the trials and tribulations flow out of your being, and welcome the healing spirits of genuine faith.

Amen.



Thats my message, good luck to you, and your family.


Donald H. Sites
[e-mail]

Answer 11

listen sweetheart all parents fight, i no they should not do it in front of you but its a part of life,it happens, I'm,e 36 and i still remember my mom and dad fighting and being abusive to each other but i learned a good lesson from it, i swore my kids would not go threw the same thing, and believe me it takes a very hard woman not t love her child, she dose love you i just think she needs t sort her marrage out bab, don't worry, and let the adults get on with the grown up stuff OK, im,e here if ya need t talk, take care x