Example: I tell him to go to the bathroom and get his toothbrush. He knows how to do this but he continues to sit on the floor and play. If I stand him up, he just stands there in spite of telling him repeatedly to go to the bathroom. What is wrong with this child?
2006-12-03 05:28:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Sounds like the kid is just seeing how much he can get away with and trying to figure out his boundaries. If this behavior has given him more time to play before, then he'll continue to do it. Try time outs, taking the toys away, taking away a dessert at dinner or something, etc. Teach that there are consequences to disobedience and that it won't simply be ignored.
2006-12-03 05:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by M C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is wrong is how you look at him.
notice how you have approached this question.
first off, you have to ask yourself, do you really want to do what is needed to solve the problem.
If the answer is yes, then you must know, there is no quick and lazy way to solve it.
love calls for time and patience.
no matter how angery he gets, don't get angery back.
dont force him nor anything else.
explain to him what he needs to do and Why.
if he then doesnt do it, tell him you love him, and then leave him alone (making sure there is nothing dangerous around him like a stove on or somthing) .
if he rants and crys about you leaving, then explain why.
number one thing, do not get angery.
try to get to be his friend more, and then he will tell you the real reasons why , or he will just simply begin to listen to you more.
don't forget that children are brand new to the world, and are not use to the set of rules that are placed upon them right away.
its like an 80 year old man going to prison after being free his whole life, its too hard to take.
children , before they came here, were once free spirits , without any limits of what to do, then they arrive here, with sooo many limits, that they get frustrated. PLUS they have a taller person, yelling at them .
Not exactly the best way to welcome a new comer to the world now is it.
2006-12-03 13:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by stuart_slider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When My daughter was 3 (she's 18 now), I read a book called "Time Out for Toddlers" and it saved my life! Here's the jist of it....
Pick a corner and put a child sized chair in it. Whenever the child doesn't listen, he/she gets 1 minutes per year of age in the corner. Your son is 4 so he gets 4 minutes facing the corner. If he talks or gets out of the corner, he gets another minute per time he talks. Use an egg timer to count down the time (one that dings). After the time is up, you ask him again to do what you want...if he doesn't, he goes back in for another 4 minutes, repeat as needed...
The first few days, my daughter and the corner became VERY good friends but as time wore on, she spend less time in the time out chair and more time listening...you just have to be patient!
2006-12-03 13:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by preciouspinkla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is doing the same thing.. he is 4 too... its driving me crazy. He is testing you. Start using time out. Count to 3 if he hasnt made the move to get up by 2 and you hit 3, put him in time out for 4 minutes, tell him briefly why you are putting him in time out, then leave him.
That seems to work wonders for me and my son, but you def have to do it religously
2006-12-03 13:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by yo mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortuantely my kids won't stay out of the bathroom, when they do what you said, then they have a time out in the corner, they stay there until they are there quietly for their age in minutes. if that doesn't work take away the toys, put them up for a week. still not working then he needs a nap-timeout. or just drag his butt in the bathroom and make him do it or you do it for him. good luck, i have a 4 year old and a 3 year old.
2006-12-03 13:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by andrewslovelywife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way, your wife tells you to get up and take a shower while you are playing a computer game or something. If you choose to not get up at that very moment are you being DEFIANT, or just meeting your need for relaxation before meeting your wife's need for your compliance? If you wife is constantly telling you what to do, will there not come a point when you just drown her out and stop listening? Well, kids are human too, and they think just like you do. They get tired of being bossed around and expected to comply just cause they enter the world later than you did.
Nothing is WRONG with your child because he has his own mind. You need to ask yourself why you feel the need to control him. Do you feel out of control in your own life? Did you never have control of yourself as a child because your parents were always trying to dominate you? If so, you are prehaps seeking your need for control in your child. Feeling powerless as a child makes people want to get power as adults. You don't have to raise your child to feel powerless.
He is not defying you, and you should stop seeing it that way. He is meeting his own needs and your needs are not his own. If he is having fun, respect that he is having fun and get the toothbrush yourself. Otherwise, let him have fun and get his toothbrush when he wants to(what does this hurt and what does your control help??).
The fewer things you make an issue of, the more likely he will listen to you those few times you do ask him to do something because he will see those things as being important. Control will always be met with rebellion because humans were not meant to be controlled and "trained" like horses. We have the ability to RELATE and CONNECT to eachother, it is our most powerful resource. Here is a great website that totally changed my perspective on life and children, and made me so much happier for it! You want to earn your child's respect and love, not force him to outwardly comply with you out of fear from harm and powerlessness. If he respects you and loves you(earned, not forced) when it is age appropriate for him(not 4) he will grow to attempt to please himself and you too!
Good luck!
2006-12-03 13:42:35 · answer #6 · answered by chicalinda 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nothing is wrong with your child. Maybe he is a little more stubborn than some kids. Give him time and start trying to punish him for not listening. With my kids talking to them about why you are dis-satisfied with there action also works sometimes.
2006-12-03 13:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is testing you. Take away his favorite toys or send him to a room where there are no toys or anything interesting. Ignore him for 15 minutes. You need to establish that you are the parent and he must obey you.
2006-12-03 13:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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GOOD LUCK......
2006-12-03 13:32:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
discipline the crap out of him. he needs to leaarn obedience. your child will only be worse with age. what happens when he is bigger than you and can take you down? you gotta get this before he gets any oldder
2006-12-03 13:36:31 · answer #10 · answered by Starry Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋