hi can any one help with my problem my ex g/f of 4years broke up with 3 weeks ago she said at first she wanted to take things slow and date agian etc we did live together but i pushed her and she said it's over i'm at my mums now and wanted to be friends and i want more than anything just to see her not to try and get her back if she really wants to be friends would it not be right that if i call her or text her she would want to meet up sometime ,we have meet once 1 week after for a drink but if we are going to friends why not now ,why wait 1/2/4/6 months when i am still hurting but can put that to one side because she makes me feel really happy and i like being around her i will move on but have no friends just her i need her 2 help me not to find a new girl but some problems in my life that she has helped in the past is this wrong i will feel fine about it if she does not what does that mean she still likes me we are both adults so we should act like one!!!!!!!!
2006-12-03 05:21:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's her way of telling you to move on and not be dependent on her.
2006-12-03 05:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by wes41550 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. That really hurts. However, sadly, it sounds like you are in some serious denial. One of the best parts about being an adult is learning how to handle your own problems. That does not mean you can't lean on your friends for support, but when you have only a girlfriend, then that is an awful lot to put on her. I can see how it would be very taxing, emotionally. Try putting her aside and focussing on your issues. Look for some support from groups online or in your community. After you have gotten into that for a while you will grow as a person and be more ready to be her friend. Make sure she is just your friend and not your therapist as it sounds she was in the past. She deserves that and so do you. Hope some of this made sense. Good Luck!
2006-12-03 05:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by Yomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you don't date someone for 4 years live together then wake up one morning and say you want to take things slow. You've been dumped face the facts hon. If she wants to see you she will, sure you can text her or call and ask her to meet you after work for a drink or whatever but if she says no don't get upset with her. In her mind she might feel that you will be trying to get back together with her so she may reject your offer. I'm willing to bet the two of you just grew apart. Maybe you need time with your friends and perhaps casually dating other women. I dated a guy for a while and when I ended it he'd on occassion ask me to meet him at a place we both like for happy hour and it never failed he'd try to put the guilt trip on me or get me to sleep with him so like I said before dont be to upset if she rejects your offer. If you really care for her let her know that you will be there for her but you have decided to continue to live your life.
2006-12-03 05:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You still have strong feelings for her....it won't work mate!
once she has found someone else the friction your friendship would cause may have her telling you, you can't be friends anymore. Any friendship you have with her now will be on a limited time basis.
You both have been in love with each other so being friends now, especially the way you are feeling at the moment is not going to work. you are going to get hurt again and again.
I wanted to remain friends with an ex, but when a woman came in to his life i was always put on the back burner. When we spoke it was like being the 'other woman' as she would not have understood our friendship as it we were once lovers....
i know it is hard, i am still trying to come to terms with it and let it go. i suggest you do the same matey! i feel for you...
yes you are both adults, but when affairs of the heart come in to play you are not usually in control and being an adult goes right out of the door!
i wish i could tell you what yu want to hear, but it won't happen!
good luck matey!!!!!
2006-12-03 05:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by Pacific Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems pretty clear that she wants to move on without hurting your feelings. Find a new friend. I know that it probably seems hard right now but put yourself out there. Meet someone new. Good friends are hard to find but you're bound to find someone who will love and care for you the way you deserve. Let her go. Just seeing her will make it harder on you.
2006-12-03 05:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by Murray 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pushed her, and right when you did that, she was right to leave. That`s completely your fault. If you`re comfortable being friends with her and so is she, then be friends, but don`t push for anything more than that. She`s probably hurting too. But if you both plan on being together in the future, it`s pointless to not be now.
2006-12-03 05:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by SRAWRRR 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be a friend if some extras happen let it.Thats whats great about being friends with an x you can do this and even have that without the big R word Relationship. Go for it and have fun with it
2006-12-03 05:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by slp9209 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is a reason she broke with you. Its a harsh reality. You definitely need to back off and let her come back to you. If she doesn't, then I think it is ok to send her a just saying hi e-mail or a Christmas card A LONG time from now.
2006-12-03 05:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my experience, you are in for a double dose of pain if you dont move on..she is gonna have new friends and your not going to fit into her new lifestyle changes. Sometimes we want someone so bad that the tight grip we have on them just slips thru our fingers and when we try to pick it up, we make fools of ourselves and become frustrated and angry. So you consider whether you want your heart rebroke or not.
2006-12-03 05:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by odaat_1218 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
3 weeks is too soon to go into friendship mode. You need time to heal from the break up.... its not about being adults, its about being logical.
2006-12-03 05:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't handle being her friend right now the don't do it. wait until you heal first. I had the same thing happen to me with my ex. we were together for 2yrs. and i couldn't be his friend b/c it would've hurt too much just to know that he was messin wit someone. only be her friend if u are ready.
2006-12-03 05:27:08 · answer #11 · answered by Honey83 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋