My step-daughter lives with her grandmother and mother. My husband has visitation but not standardized. We have a court date for a standardized visitation hearing, but it is not until April. I have been the one to work with the child's mother and grandmother on visitation since last April because of a big fight over custody that got ugly. Both the mother and grandmother make it very difficult for us to see the child and refuse to let her come over for more than a few hours. Everytime we try to see her they come up with an excuse. I think they are jealous of my family. I told my husband I was tired of begging to see a child that's not mind and having to pretend to like two people who repluse me. I told the mother and grandmother I was sick of asking to see her and that when they get ready to let her come over to call. I am just so sick of dealing with them and hearing them try to make my husband look bad. I have my own life and kids to deal with. Should I give up?
2006-12-03 05:08:53 · 8 answers · asked by bamagrits84 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Giving up on a child is not fair to that child; also when you married your husband his daughter became yours whether she lives with you or not. Now you both need to make an effort to see his daughter; the reason being that in April when you do go to court the judge is going to ask how many times you have seen her and how much time you have sent with her up to now. RECORD EVERYTHING!!! The dates you go over there, the times you have her and when they don't let you see her record those as well. Don't call to set up times, show up! When you do call record that too, also record how many times they allow the daughter to call and such. I know it's alot, but this is the only way you will be able to plead your case for your husband, the only way to get regular visitation. Good Luck
2006-12-03 06:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by jillifly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in life theres a certain gratification you get from being the better person, and if you and your husband arent fighting for this child she'll ultimately feel abandoned so to speak. I mean one way to look at it is I'm guessing your doing it instead of your husband as sortof a favor since its so hard for him to deal w/emotionally or things just run smoother that way so as a wife you probly should try to continue doing that for him until emotionally you cant handle it or you think its going to effect your marriage, and then as far as the child goes I mean how does she perceive you guys like her escape or could she care less if it does mean a lot to the child and you guys have a relationship something is better than nothing and it shows her she is cared about which means a lot to a child I know its rough especially step parents seem to take the brunt of the anger a lot of times I dont know just do what your heart tells you to, oh I was gonna ask how old is she because at a certain age if the home life is "ok" they can make decisions for themselves and there desires are taken into consideration also w/my uncles experience it really pays to somehow get as much evidence of these things like only 2 hours and always an excuse as you can get or atleast keep a daily journal of the events and ask someone else close to to because that is not ok well atleast once its court ordered, sorry for rambling Good Luck KIM
2006-12-03 13:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's your husband's daughter, he should be dealing with them. It isn't fair for him to expect you to have all the contact. He should take responsibility for contacting his own daughter and keeping that relationship going. I'd just hand the ball back to the guy it belongs to. If he doesn't, he won't have a relationship with his daughter and it will be nobody's fault but his. Give yourself a break and deal with the daughter when she's at your house and let him do the frustrating work. Just my opinion.
2006-12-03 13:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its nice that you have put such an effort into wanting to see this child. but it should be the father putting an effort in to seeing his kid. maybe that's the problem here. the mother and grandmother feel that you are not the one they should be dealing with it should be him. so, unless he is will to try then yes i say let it go.
2006-12-03 13:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first answer this "do you care about them?" if so dont give up. giving up will make them THINK you dont care about them. I know its hard but you got to continue to try everything to see them. try putting yourself in their place. would you like to be treated that way? some familys have ISSUES. make due of it and try to forget that prolblem.any way its not your blooded child so let him take it and stop putting it on you its not fair for you. if you need any other help feel free to email me ok?hope this helps
2006-12-03 13:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the step daughter's mamma is right. Maybe she doesn't want her child around a man who smokes and has been known to cheat on his wife. I'd leave that one alone. How would you feel about his new wife passing judgement on how you decide to raise your child?
2006-12-03 13:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is your husband not more involved? This is his daughter, and while it is great that you are attempting to help, it is an issue that he and his ex need to resolve. It sounds like he is using you to do his dirty work.
2006-12-03 13:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by baylor88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is not your responsibility...
2006-12-03 13:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋