Ex-gf used me and betrayed my trust--what should I do?

Question

About 3-4 years ago, I started dating a girl during my senior year at an undergrad school.
We broke up after 15 months of dating and tried the ‘friends’ thing afterwards. It didn’t go so well until she moved far away and had no one to talk to but myself. So I was there for her and it was all good until she made new friends and didn’t need me.

After a fight, she completely ignored me for a month. I tried to contact her but she ignored me. Then she called me because she was driving from FL to IL and needed a place to crash. She apologized for ignoring me, but went on to justify ignoring in future arguments.

One time when we were arguing, she abruptly ended the conversation to go out with friends. We talked the next night only because I called. She then told me that I was no longer a priority to her any longer. Upon hearing at this, I ended our friendship and hung up the phone. I then wrote her that she was coldhearted for what she put me through, etc., and said ‘have a nice life.’

But I’m not over what she did to me. I was there for her when no one else was. She betrayed my trust by using me and throwing me away. I’ve tried to talk to her about it recently but she ignores me. Any idea what to do?

Answer 1

I understand how difficult it can be to let a relationship go. It's a grieving process like any other. You need to realize that when a relationship becomes toxic or unhealthy for you, you must make a choice to move on for yourself or continue to suffer the consequences. You already know what you must do otherwise you wouldn't have broke up initially.

It's apparent she isn't the one for you, but still you continue to hang on, so it is now YOUR decision to continue putting up with her lies, deceit and abuse. I'm not sure what's going on in your life that you feel the need to allow her to take advantage of what sounds like a good heart. She's obviously not deserving, but the messages you send out to her says otherwise.

Until YOU decide that enough is enough, you'll continue to go through the cycle with this particular female and never allow yourself to grow. Right now you're stagnating for whatever reason, but one major factor in is life is you must evolve in order to continue to grow. It's ok to be angry at her treatment of you, but know this....you did allow it after you continued to go back for more. Stop the cycle! Distance yourself from her whether by tearing up the number, changing yours, or whatever. It's a good thing she isn't communicating as you'd never get over it if she did. She's doing you a favor in this instance. You need to take advantage of it and gain inner strength to know she isn't worth the time and energy you've vested in her. Right now she believes you will ALWAYS be there. Cut her lose and let her grow up.

Eventually, time will heal and allow you to forgive her immature and abusive ways. Forgiveness comes with time, in most cases. It doesn't mean you become friends again, it simply means you've grown past it and can one day look her in the eye realizing she did wrong, but it has no affect on you now. Note: I said forgive not forget. Big difference, so remember that. Don't allow her to rule your life and only then can you move on with your own. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

you need to get over her and move on cause shes not thinking about you and If you isolate yourself from the rest of the world then youll never know what it has to offer you. you are at a really good part of your life that you can never get to again and if you waste it sulking on this girl that ,never really cared for anyone but herself,then you lose to. there are alot of girls that would like to have someone in their corner. Im not telling you to be mean to this girl, just love yourself and others will see it.

Answer 3

Here's an idea..........wake up already!!!!! You know she used and abused and betrayed you. What kind of standards do you have for your friends? She isn't your friend. She is playing you like a card sharp.

You are still in love with her, she knows it. She is not in love with you, but, she is not above using you to her own advantage. She doesn't give a crap about you, and somewhere is that college educated brain of yours, you know that. Stop thinking with your pants, stop calling her, stop the e-mails, stop the letters, stop bending over for this b**ch!!

Move on already.

Answer 4

i think you should try to move on. make new friends. sure you obviously still like her, but look at what she did to you. dont try to rekindle the friendship, she just uses you. dont do it she will do the same thing again. just stop calling her and go find better people to hang out with that deserve you, because she obviously doesnt.

Answer 5

Jolt, grow a spine....

people are people, life is too short too hate, be glad you had the time with her is she doesn't support a need in your life she is a burdon and time to leave that part of your life behind...

Answer 6

Blast some Slipknot and destroy everything in your house to let your anger out....

My ex did somethin' similar to me.... Women are users and abusers, we need to just get over it.

Answer 7

besides breaking some bones you are kind of powerless in this situation.

just gotta move on.

Answer 8

do nothing - what else should be done? she's your ex anyway and luckily she's already history. be thankful and give yourself a better life ahead.

Answer 9

Ignore her too...
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Answer 10

just ignore her and move on.... sometimes it can be hard moving on, but she threw u away so it shouldn't be too hard