my 13 year old daughter is going through the terrible teens,an its driving me nuts any advice.?

Answer 1

wait till she gets to 15! then the fun begins! i dont know why we send ours to school, he already knows everything! lol! by the way, where are you in wigan? (you answered my q before about wigan and sheep!)

Answer 2

You have my deepest sympathy! I've been through it with two girls. To be honest I think it depends on your circumstances, I was divorced and on my own when my eldest went off the rails. She had two choices, either behave and live by my rules or run off to her fathers, she chose the easy option and left to live with with her dad. This absolutely destroyed me and left me wondering "where did I go wrong???" At 16 she met her boyfriend ,now husband, and at 17 she had her 1st child, a baby girl with Downs syndrome, she's now 21 and recently had her 2nd child. She's far too young to be in the situation she's in, and I do wonder if I'd let her walk all over me when she was a teen things would have resolved themselves and she'd be in a good job, having holidays abroad, be out clubbing with the girlie's. All I can say is you're the adult here, just remember that this is a phase and yes it does last a long time but it does pass, and at the end of it you'll get a beautiful young woman who will eventually look to you for advise and warm sense of pride is something you can't buy! GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

been there and i don't envy you.....be there for her...you may not like what she is doing but you have to try and not shut her out. i had my heart ripped out on a daily basis by my daughter. now she is 21 and the best friend. now is the time you can lose your daughter...be too harsh and she will rebel and search out others who will understand what she is going through. be there for her and you will have her there with you. i bit my lip many times..think before you speak. Your girl is at a very volatile space in her life right now and needs you now more than ever; however, her actions may not show this.
your girl has lessons to learn and if you hover around nagging she will stay away as much as she can.
Some say 'tough love'..this may work for some, but some children just keep going when the door is locked and they are outside; they keep walking.
Talk to her, keep the lines of communication open, don't jump down her throat when she comes to you with some information which you don't agree with or she will go elsewhere next time.
i wish you all the best...one good thing is....if you do right by your daughter she will come through it a lovely young woman....lol....i moved to the other end of the world to get my daughter out of the circle of friends she was in....it changed her! my best friend sent her son to the other end of the world to stay with his aunty...he came back a changed young man. Do you know anyone in Australia or New Zealand?....move with you daughter....it works! i would totally recommend it!

Answer 4

Give her boundries, not rules. Teenagers break rules but boundries are more guidelines to behaviour, not a dictatorship of how she should behave.

Hormones are all over the place and there is more pressure on them from different people to be a certain way. Just let her get on with it and she'll really appreciate it. Obviously I'm not saying let her get away with bloody murder but understand the fact that puberty messes with the body and there isn't a lot the teen can do about it.

Answer 5

Sorry, but the older she gets the worst it will get until she is around 26. That has been my experience with all my children both boys and a girl.
Maybe a talk in a park or other neutral place to find out what is bugging her might help.
When they have experienced some of the same things you are talking about it won't get much better.

Answer 6

Just curious as to what "terrible teens" means to you?
My 14 year old was busted for alcohol on the bus and at school last week, and then ran away on Friday night and returned on Saturday night.
This is the first of these kinds of problems with her, and it's making me crazy. I feel like throwing up constantly.
She has all A's and B's in school, so it really blind-sided me.
I hope your problems aren't as severe as mine, as I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Answer 7

Don't take it personally! It's a fact that we are genetically programmed to rebel against our parents during the teenage years, even to the point where we hate the smell of them - it's all to do with flying the nest.

I'm not a parent but I was a terrible teenager. Be fair but firm and don't stand for any nonsense. You've just got to ride it out.

Answer 8

we have 3 girls, 11 16 and 26, and in their time they all pushed at the boundaries.

as parents we learned to say no. and mean it. yes i know how difficult it can be..captian stroppy stamps upstairs and slams doors etc. and i have no doubt that not so very long ago you did the same thing to your parents, and i'll bet your perceptions differ from your parents.

we have always tempered the no with an occasional and unexpected yes. (im in a wheelchair and we dont do family holidays, last year she went to new york) eldest is married...

and no3 is already becoming a kevin, we try to ignore the outbursts, we do ignore the demands, and we are always there for them.

one thing, which we discovered by accident was the obvious contrasts between families, and lifestyles. the affluent parents spent almost no time witht he kids coz they were working all the time, working class kids also got all teh toys, and were left to almost fend for themselves on the streets. (yes, we live on a council estate) and mum and dad are in debt upto their eyeballs...

by contrast, were broke, my cars is a 19 yr old volvo, so no one notices, and we dont do holidays... but all 3 of our kids have had the best education, all of tehm are at the top of their classes, and they work hard to achieve it. why? because mum and dad cant bail them out financially, we cant give them anything bar support and security.. weve shown our girls the alternatives...my favourite is fliping burgers at macdonalds... or a career, with opportunity and advancement as a carrot.

oh yes, and we turn the telly off... although they both have PCs in their bedrooms, and yes jess always seems to be on MSN... but she does her schoolwork, dresses like a skateboarding freak.. we dont criticize her, her nose and ears are pierced, and we support her... even at school, her It tutor moaned about her appearance, and i said, sorry, but she just scored 97% in her last exam... she can dress how she wants to... and suddenly your kevin reaslises mum and dad arent monsters intent on spoiling everything... and we do have their best interests at heart.

they have to learn money doesnt grow on trees, it has value, and has to be earned. and that lesson in its own can take many years to learn... all we can do is prepare them...the rest is upto them.

all you have to do is make them realise it... good luck

Answer 9

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy! Take the time to sit down with her and find out what is going on. Realize that it could be YOU she is angry about and you may not know it. Or boys and you may not be prepared for it. Or sex and you may have chest pains from it. Take her out somewhere to talk - nuetral ground, where she can't explode in a teenage girl sort of way and will be forced to keep her cool. Be brave. Good luck.

Answer 10

Be understanding, I'm sure everyones went through it but the times are changing.
Have a talk let her understand that you know this is a difficult change and you are there for her, but set some ground rules about how she can act, she'll get mad but one day she'll thank you!

Answer 11

shes is just going what normal 13 years old go through they are just getting older and things will get more complicated and she could fall in love with a boy and they start to date and its normal for a 13 year old to go through this its just changes. just be there for her to make things less complicated for her.