How do you control a spoiled brat without whooping them?

Question

Well, i watch my little 4 year old sister almost evrey night and shes a spoild brat that don't listen. My grandma {she lives with us} spoils her and gives her everything she wants and she thinks that i am going to spoil her too and im not. Im 15 years old and i dont know how to deal with my little sister not doing what shes told. She hits me, she yells at me. Its out of control. I get in trouble by both my grandma and my mom if i whoop her because they dont beleive in it.. Any suggestions? PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

Be very firm with her. Remind her that you are the elder in the situation.

As an example, when I was about that age, I threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. My mother grabbed me by my shirt collar, looked me dead in the eye, and said in a very quiet but threatening voice, "If you ever do that again, you will regret it."

Now, my mom is no mean psycho parent. In fact, it's one of the only times I've seen her like that. But she let me know she was serious, and it was the last time I did something like that.

She laid down the law without hurting me physically, and it worked!

Answer 2

I went through this exact same thing. My younger siblings mother left when he was 2 and everyone in the family spoiled him. My grandmother and I picked up the slack for his lack of mother. My grandmother spoiled him so bad and he became quite a handful, but I am guessing your sister needs you now more than ever and 4 is the perfect age to learn respect. So here is what you need to do.
1. time outs- four year olds hate to stop moving more than they hate being spanked, start off with 2 minutes then increase the timeouts every time she acts up
2. be consistent- create a set of rules that you expect for her to follow and make it clear to her what those rules are and what the punishment will be for breaking those rules
3. be patient and dont give up- she will test you, firmly hold your ground but dont lose your temper
4. make sure she knows that you still love her and all of this is for her own good

Answer 3

I have the same problem with my 4-year-old niece, who's the daughter of my younger brother. My parents give her practically EVERYTHING she asks for. If you don't give what she wants, she throws a huge fit and cries so loud that you can hear her all the way from the basement parking lot of our building (we live on the fifth floor).

How about citing your point about how this spoiled brat will grow up to be a delinquent and realize later on in her life that in reality, it's not the way it works, especially in getting what she wants. How about telling them other possible NEGATIVE consequences? A 4-year-old hitting you and not doing what you tell her to do as an older sister sounds like DISRESPECT to me. Can't your grandma and mother see that yet?

I can already imagine how this little sister of yours will act when she starts school, nevertheless, when she grows up and starts socializing with other people.

Now, if the supposedly so-called older but wiser people in your family do not listen to any of your explanations, then I guess it's better to leave your sister with them and let them put up with all her crap. Tell them you're too busy to put up with all your little sister's BS that you'd rather enjoy being a teenager instead of being a babysitter or a young mother to a spoiled brat sister.

Answer 4

You mean you "whooped" her and she still didn't listen? Wow! I guess hitting isn't working! If she is testing your limits, tell her you need to take a time out and go into your own room for a minute or two. When you come out, tell her why her behavior was so difficult for you to deal with and try to get her involved in a game, painting, etc. Do not stay in your room long - just if you feel you may lose control. She will understand quite quickly and long to have fun with you - not upset you.

Answer 5

Hitting her isn't the answer, it will just make matters worse. But it does sound as if she needs dicipline. The problem is that this is not your responsibility. If your mom and grandma aren't setting rules and enforcing them with taking away toys or treats etc... when she goes against the rules then the best thing for you is to avoid her or just stick to your beliefs and when she wants you to get her a new toy say No, not if you act this way.

Answer 6

Well, first of all, hitting a child only teaches them to hit.
Second of all, your probably only telling her to not do something. If I tell you to NOT think about the color red, thats probably all you can think about. Let's say your sister is jumping on the couch. Try saying, "I need you to take a coloring book off the shelf and bring it here."
Also try to remember that children are not little adults. They are children. She probably thinks your the coolest thing ever, and would love to get to spend some time with you doing things that you like to do. Why not give her a mini-makeover, or let her give you one.
Try doing things with her and i can almost promise that you will see her behavior change. Don't be afraid to put her into time-out. Sometimes we all need a few moments away from a situation...and thats exactly what time-out is.

Answer 7

Your 4 year old sister is not out of control, she is just out of YOUR control. If you think about it long enough, it is not possible or desirable to CONTROL anyone. Control suggest that she is not her own person, but that she belongs to you or someone else. Control sets up a situation in which it is YOU AGAINST her, and she will(like all people) always fight for herself(which she should). At 15, you are at the age where you should really understand her more than anyone.

The best way to treat her is exactly the same way you wish your parents or anyone would treat you. Your job is to protect her from harm, not boss her around because she does things that are inconvenient to you. At 15, you should be doing things that interest you and make you happy.

People(big and small) follow/listen to people who they LIKE, not people who try to control and overpower them. Your ability to work with your sister is directly related to your relationship with her. If she sees you as a controlling, powerful, bossy, mean person because she doesn't just "do everything you want her to" (which she shouldn't anyway) then you and she will always have problems.

If she sees you as a loving, huggy, friendly, fun person who she can always laugh with, talk to, and get gentle protection from-both of you will have much fewer problems. Change your style from controlling to loving-and you will be amazed.

Good luck, and please email me if you need to talk more. I have a toddler, and I know it can be rough sometimes!

Answer 8

Take things away from her that she loves when she doesn't listen.

If she loves cartoons, then turn off the T.V. and don't let her watch cartoons until she is ready to listen to you. Do not give into her, make her understand that she DOES have to listen and obey authority. If she goes through life thinking that there is no consequences for her actions then she is going to wind up in jail when she is a grown up!!!

Answer 9

don't "whoop" her. she is four years old, she is going through that phase. you need to be strict with her. when she hits you, have have to grab that arm and make sure she looks you in the eye. Don't yell, but in a stern and strict voice, you have to explain to her about keeping her hands to herself, and you have to tell her that it hurts when she does that to people. If that still isn't working, you have to just lock her in a room and say TIME OUT!DONT and NEVER hit a four year old. they are just starting to learn what is right and wrong. and you have to be the one to teach her if your mother is incapable. Then again, you have to realize that you are also raised by these people, and you have to take time out and ask them if that is how they treated u...u seem like a good kid i guess im sure they did a good job with u

Answer 10

first of all, douche bag? purely because you're a criminal specialist would not make you effective. That being stated, in case you do not agree including her parenting style, then you definately understand which will be a significant challenge for both of you to manage. i'd decrease and run now before you get your self invested in them and anticipate her to regulate her procedures--she's been doing superb for the previous even if lengthy and who's to assert you may want to do extra efficient?