Children in restaraunts...?

Question

I am a bartender in a neighbourhood pub. It frustrates me and my co-workers to no end when people bring in their badly-behaved children (the pub allows minors inside until 9pm). My blood boils when kids are screaming and running around the bar. When other patrons complain, I am forced to confront the parent(s), politely asking them to restrain their kids, however this usually results in either me or my co-worker who's table it is forfieting the tip from that table, as most parents these days simply won't abide by anyone critisizing them or their "little angels". And since when, when the place is jam-packed on a Friday night, the server is at his/her wit's end and overwhelmed by customers, is it okay to say to your child "tell the lady what you want, honey" when the child is not yet old enough to speak and be understood by anoyone other than their parent(s)? I guess my question is this: if parents can't control their kids in a restaraunt, why do they insist on bringing them there?

PS I am not a child-hater. We have several regular patrons whose children are polite, quiet, and well-behaved, and are truly a pleasure to serve. Unfortunately, they seem to be in the vast minority.

Answer 1

I completely agree! It's one thing to have kids running around a McDonalds, but at 9 PM on a Friday in a bar? Or even a fancy restaurant! When I was very young my mother brought me to all those places, and I HATED IT! i was very well behaved, but I cant say the same for alot of other children. For example, my mother now has 1.5 year old twins, and she takes them EVERYWHERE, even Olive Garden. She lets them scream and throw things and i feel absolutely horrible for my server and the other guests. It is unfortunate that only some children are well behaved, but I believe that businesses should be aloud to ban young children to preserve their atmosphere.

Answer 2

The answer is that parents are often blind to their children's flaws. Or, if they are aware of them, they believe they can't do anything about it. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about this situation, but you can do some things that might ease up the frustration:

1) Perhaps you could talk to the bar owner about a compromise - keep the weekday hours the same but change the weekend hours (ie. no minors after 7pm on Friday/Saturday/Sunday), since that's when adults like to come in and let off steam. In addition, see if there is a section of the bar you can have for family seating during these hours. If a family wants to bring their kids, they can sit there (look into insulated glass partitions!)

2) When the servers are having difficulty understanding the children, have them address the parents, "You know, it's really loud in here and I'm having trouble understanding this little guy. Would you please tell me what he would like?"

3) If you have to talk to parents, assure them that you welcome minors until 9pm, but suggest that the parents bringing children supply them with quiet activities so that other patrons may enjoy their meal or drinks. Better yet, provide crayons, books, puzzles, etc. on loan while your families are patronizing your bar.

Answer 3

That sucks, maybe the time periods allowing children should change, so that children are not allowed in the bar during peak periods (say after 5pm on a Friday), to avoid this happening. The parents should be taking responsibility for their kids though and not blame the server when they are asked to restrain their children. Good luck with that one! Kids are only getting worse!

I know, I have a 4 year old and while she appears to be very well-behaved most of the time, when she is with my little sisters (ages 9 and 11) she acts like a freakin heathen! I will not take the 3 of them to any restuarant!

Answer 4

This is the way the kids act at home, so why would it be any different in a pub/restaurant, a store, church, on an airplane? If the behavior is tolerated at home the kids figure that they have free reign elsewhere, too. And parents just find it easier to ignore then to teach. Teaching good manners seems to be a thing of the past. It should be brought back in style. Saying please and thank you. Not interrupting adults when they are speaking. Learning self-control. That the word "no" means "no", not maybe. That a tantrum will not get you your way. Chew with your mouth closed. Oh gees, I could go on and on and on. Anyhoo, if you can't control your kids, then don't take them to places where others are trying to enjoy themselves.

Answer 5

I agree. I do not have children, never wanted to deal with all of that. And being a customer in a restaurant where kids are screaming, etc. is not a pleasant experience either. We usually go to a high class, expensive place, and sometimes kids are there. No problem if they are well behaved, but they should not be there if they are not. Take them to McDonald's if you can't be a REAL parent and TEACH your children how to sit still and shut up! I was taught that as a child, so don't tell me that you can't do it.

Answer 6

I agree, I can't stand it. There are places that are far more appropriate than a bar to take your children to, if you want to spend an evening with them. Children simply do not belong in the bar atmosphere, even if the policies allow them. Furthermore, I find it irritating when a child is misbehaving and parents totally ignore it, no matter what public place we're talking about. Airplanes, movies, restaurants.

"Tell the lady what you want" on Friday night would probably drive to complete madness. I guess I was lucky in the days when I was a waitress - I never heard that one. Dude, if your child is placing an order he's supposed to be able to foot the bill. What are they teaching to their children?

American culture is very protective of children. In my home country it is customary to directly address the child in order to get them quiet. That is, if they are old enough to understand words. It is actually extremely effective. If a stranger starts talking to them they kinda get it right away, or maybe it distracts them from the "my mom is ignoring me" cycle.

Answer 7

I don't know why parents do that. It is rude not only to the staff, but to the other patrons as well. If my child were behaving poorly in a restaurant, I would ask for the check and have my food boxed to go, tip my server, and leave. I think the problem is that poorly behaved children usually have poorly behaved parents.

Answer 8

Because people these days have a "Sense of entitlement" that compells them to feel as if they should have whatever they want. ESPECIALLY the younger couples with their McMansions and their cookie cutter neighborhoods and their little brats. I have been in the service industry for 20 years. I am a waitress, but about 6 yrs ago, I was bartending at a little pizza place. The bar was one room, the dining area right next door. it was a Sunday afternoon. I had my bar full with the regular people that came in on Sundays to watch tv. I was back and forth from the service end and back, over and over. It was pretty busy. I felt something on my leg. I thought I had knocked a bottle out of the rail. I looked down real quick. I was going to try and grab it before it ihit the ground. It was a baby. About 15 months. He LITERALLY could have been trampled. I picked him up and I told my guys at the bar to find his parents, please and nobody gets a drink until someone finds them. i really couldn't leave the bar, so one of the guys went into the dining area and fetched his dad. The guy laughed. He LAUGHED!! I love babies. I don't want to be responsible for stepping on one because his parents didn't watch him.
I have several horror stories about idiots that don't watch their kids. I have been held hostage at many-a tableside while Little Timmy tries to tell me what he wants for dinner. I have dug spaghetti noodles out of the carpet with my finger nails. I have been burned by 7 and 8 year olds that have never learned to stay in their chairs, running through the restaurant, bumping me with hot coffee pots. It's an occupational hazzard. People are simply oblivious to the fact that they and their children have the power to ruin our entire night. I mean RUIN it. Send you home in tears because you were balls to the walls busy, 15 better things to do, and Little Timmy took 10 minutes of your precious time to order his minnie corn dogs. People need to get a friggin clue. We are not babysitters. Hon, go to bitterwaitress.com. It helps.
LOL!! Beast From the East!! A daycare center in a bar. Not a bad idea!!

Answer 9

i dont think youre a child hater. i totally see your point and think that parents need to realize that their kids dont know right from wrong at an early age and end up causing a riot at a nice restaurant. people go to restaurants to relax and get away from the house, NOT to hear little kids screaming and crying.

Answer 10

I agree with you. I was raised in a very strict family, but at least people didn't cringe when they saw us coming! Not long ago, a woman ignored her screaming brat in the book store (normally a haven of peace and quiet); it was so frustrating. I wish people could understand that discipline does not have to mean abuse, and far from it, can actually be the best proof of love.