I love my boy friend but everytime we argue i tell him i want to break up with him is this ok to say?

Question

My boy friend and i have been arguing back and forth about money, he said he doesn't have that much money to take me out sometimes because he has his car payment bills to pay,insurance, and cell phone bills. We both go to school and dont work much. I feel bad i can't pay for anything sometimes and when we get into arguments about money or anything i tell him out of anger i want to leave him, because i dont like arguing with him. he thinks iam threating him i will leave him everytime i say that. What should i do? is it normal for me to say i will leave him everytime we argue? whether its money or anything else? but money being the biggest issue? someone please help!!!

Answer 1

NO!!!!

If you feel the urge to say that at ANY point, you don't love him.

Love is really special, and nothing (not even financial problems) could break it. It's kind of like when someone you know says something when they're drunk that they wouldn't have the courage to say at any other time.

If those feelings come out when you're angry, then they're there for a reason. My boyfriend and I fight about little petty things and never in any one of those fights (and sometimes, they get pretty damn explosive!- we're both really stubborn) did I think to myself "Gosh this is ridiculous... I want to leave him."

Not once.

If you feel like you want to leave him, then leave him. Don't hold it over his head everytime you get angry that you have the power to just get up and leave. It's not fair to him. One day, he's going to get sick of it and instead of throwing it in your face, he's actually going to do it. Then, you're going to be left alone with your empty threats.

Don't say things like that unless you mean them.

Answer 2

Money can often be a point of contention for couples. But as annoying as it is you should not threaten to leave him every time you get into an argument.

As a couple you should face your problems together. If you threaten to leave every time there is a problem, he is not going to feel too secure in the relationship.

So stop saying that, or leave the relationship. Either you want to work out the issues that you have, or you want to start again with someone else. Make a decision and don't waste time in a doomed relationship.

Answer 3

Its normal. Atleast, i had the same problem with my girlfriend. It was veryyy bad. I didn't want to be one of those off and on couples. We talked about how stupid it was and how we shouldn't do it. That didn't even help. I just felt like i could only get through to her if i threatened the worse. She did too. I assume that your threats are empty. On the inside, you want him to say "no dont leave me". If he did say fine you wouldnt be too happy. Both of you must communicate with each other and concentrate on ending these threats. It is the only way to make you relationship sucessful. Try and remembering not to say it when you fight. Just ignore him for a while, stay mad, and anything else but dont mention a break up.

Answer 4

well
money always be a sensitive issue in a relation ship, i think is better if both of you already speaks maturally the payment devide...
a man often consider to pay but not all the time woman also need to pay (you didn't wanna be called as material girl right?)
look down the condition and made a make-sense decision...

don't say too often that you want break up when you're involved in a fight with him...because you may probably regret it at the next minute...
calm down ok ^ ^
both of you could fix this if you still honest n respecting each other, don't let money breaking down the realtinship you've had...

Answer 5

Money is the biggest problem in most relationships unless you have a ton of it. If u were to get in a huge fight and said something like i can't take this anymore, that would be one thing, but Everytime u fight u can't say that. think of it this way if he always told u he wanted to break up, how long before you just broke up with him? noone likes to be threatened. plus a good relationship needs a solid ground to stand on u telling him u r gonna leave is a pretty shaky foundation.

Answer 6

No, that's like your manipulating him. "If you don't stop fighting with me, I'm leaving you!"

Being in a relationship means always being there for the other person, even when you're having troubles with each other. He needs to be able to trust that when times are difficult, you'll be there to help, not hinder.

If you don't mean it, don't say it.

Answer 7

i think it's unfair to expect him to pay for everything.. relationships are supposed to be a team effort.. now, more so than ever, men and women are equal in every aspect..

as far as threatening to break up, that will only add fuel to the fire..

if you really don't want to be with him, then end it. don't expect him to change just because you threaten to end it..

in the end, he may be the one to end it..

Answer 8

If you're not serious about wanting to leave him then you're playing a dangerous game....one day he might take you up on the offer and you'll be alone and miserable.

Answer 9

relax and calm yourself and your boyfriend everything you feel anger boiling in you. becos when you're angry,you aint in the right state of mind to deal with situations and issues,like for your case,money.
and dont threaten him abt breaking up, unless you're serious abt it. he would feel insecure abt you and if any girl comes along and in his opinon is better than you,somehow,he would probably go for her.
no offence though.

Answer 10

No dont say that its like threatening him and trying to control him and that is not good for boyfriend girlfriend.