My son is self centered, he embarrasses the entire family in public.He is loud& talkes too much I love him but

Question

My son embarrasses me how they acts. He thinks he knows everything, his mouth ever stops on everyone but his "lovely wife".
He criticizes everyone, he always hurts his father and my feelings. When we tell him how he has hurt us he strikes back like a snake really coming down on us like we did something . We avoid him all we can, we discuss no personal or family matters with him. He acts like we are stupid. He is sooo fakely when he tells us how much he cares for us. His wife comes to our home whispers to him about us and treats us badly in our own home. We have a very very nice home. I work so my home does have things out of place but I am a very clean house keeper. I think they are jealous they would lilke to have our home. His mouth is a real problem. His siblings also can't stand it. He is always name dropping all of his friends, sure yeh.. He let his wife call me and curse me out saying lies about Dad & I . We did not speak for 3 mos.,they never apologized. PLEASE HELP ME!

Answer 1

That is the classic "bad seed" you have raised. You don't give much info about how old he is/how close he lives, but my strategy would be to limit contact as much as is reasonable.

Answer 2

As I was reading what you wrote about your son it brought back memories to me. My oldest son who is now 25 acted in the same way as your son. Nothing I could say was right. He made me feel as though I was an idiot. He'd ask my opinion and when I gave it to him he'd criticize what I had to say. No matter what I said I was wrong in his eyes. With him I believe since he was my first born I spoiled him way to much which caused most of this. But since he is older now it's like he's finally realized all the things I have done for him and knows how I was always there for him and he appreciates me now. Hopefully your son will realize how important you and his father is before it's to late. I'm so glad I'm thru that part in my life with my son because it nearly drove me crazy. By the way I have another son who is the complete opposite. Quiet, shy, very helpful, and is always there when I need him to be. So see it happens. Good luck to you. ;o)

Answer 3

You and Dad and siblings need to sit down and write a letter to your son. Describe, objectively, the behaviors that are causing problems. Just state a) Volume. You are embarrassing the family in public by speaking too loudly. b) Talk too much. Give others a chance to speak. c)Criticizing. Needs to stop. Especially when it's not your business. d) Retaliation. Inappropriate and hurtful. e) Condecending. We'd like to be treated with Respect. f) Whispering wife. We'd like to be treated with Respect.
Beloved Son, when you can treat family with respect, and comply with these requests we'll get together again. Thanks, Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters.

Answer 4

He sounds Bi-Polar to me and that he needs help! If I were you, being his mother, I would tell him, that if he can't act like a decent human being in YOUR house, that he doesn't need to come around anymore. Tough Love is hard, but in this case it sounds necessary. My father was the same way, I was sick when ever he was around, and I mean literally. Since I basically disowned him, and he told me I'd never be anything with out him and his money, I've never been happier! I never have to deal with him again and it works for me. It's been over twenty years. I'm sorry that you may lose your son, but sometimes people are just sick!

Answer 5

You are not seeing the big picture and instead are focusing on the tip of the iceberg. Family strife is never one incident and it's never only one person's fault. If you really want to change the dynamic, you are going to have to do some hard work I would start with a family counsellor and work on a strategy. This is a long process and will bring up many issues that you don't currently think are your fault and and will be very uncomfortable and will require you to change a lot of things about yourself that you have grown comfortable with over the years.

GOOD LUCK, it's worth it!

Answer 6

Wow, talk about lack of respect! This couldn't have just happened overnight, you need to put a stop to it immediately.

First of all, you are allowing them to treat you this way. It doesn't matter how much you "love" your son, "love" isn't going to do it. Your son is an immature jerk who has no respect for you or anyone else. For him to allow his wife to speak to you the way she does is absolutely inexcusable!

I don't care if he is your son, he wouldn't be allowed in my home unless he showed myself and my family some respect. It's one thing to have a difference of opinion, it's another thing for him to display it in the manner he has.

Your son and his wife obviously needs some professional help to learn to deal with their "issues". Until they are ready to change, I would have no contact with them. You shouldn't allow them in your home and I certainly wouldn't accept phone calls from them.

Do not allow them to "drag" you into a discussion over this. Simply tell them your decision and end the conversation! It is up to them to change, not you!

Simply tell them they are no longer welcome in your home or life until they learn how to show some respect. It really is "that simple"! Good luck.

Answer 7

Maybe u shoud see a family conselor and talk things out. Your son is probably trying to tell you something he really needs to say, but is too ... probably scared to tell. That mouth you say he has can make him lose the computer or anything he likes to play with.
i guess being strict is hard these days.

Answer 8

I know hes your son and everything but i think you should cut all ties to them. Tell them youhave it had with thier rude behaviour and they are not welcome in your home anymore. Thats the only thing that will get through to them. You and your husband dont deserve to be treated in such a way. Tell them to stay away from you until he can treat you how you are suppose to be treated. Ungrateful son.

Answer 9

Sounds to me as if you should have been more strict when he was a child . There seems to be a lack of discipline in the boy .
It is too late for you to change him now . Spare the rod , spoil the child !!!

Answer 10

Tell him to get lost. Is the pain he causes worth the little benefit he provides? Just because he is blood does not mean you need to be close to him. Remember, we cannot pick our relatives only our friends.