Why don't I fit in?

Question

I have friends and im a fun and nice guy. I'm a good looking guy and im very rich but when other guys see this they get really jealous. One guy will say "oh well we can't all have our own houses and our own cars" and i just dont know how to respond to that.. and im very selective when it comes to girls and they take it personal when i dont go out with them. I end up not having many friends and the only real friends i have are the ones i've known since grade 5 and right now im in my first year in college. I dont join any clubs or drink or smoke. I'm just a decent kind of guy from a good family that's really well off. I feel sort of like an out-cast like i dont get to hang out with all the other people who are living on/near campus. I live in a big house to myself that my parents bought for me but im new to this town and none of my very close friends are here... only the ones that hate me because of what i have... any thoughts/suggestions/comments on what i can do to fit in more?

Answer 1

well its ur life
about guys who say that to u , just ignore them and smile to make them mad more and more lol
u have the right to choose friends but take in ur mind u need more friends because u may need them in the future
good for u that u depend on urself and u dont need anyone help
u live in ur house and i think u r not young to make anyone scare about ur life there

Answer 2

ok first try to join a club or something social. people are jealous of you then quit franlky you don't want them to be your friends anyway. What type of music do you like try going to a night spot a club. People can be strange when they want what you have, the friends that are close to you are the keepers. Remember so,ething that i have found to be true that for the most part you will have 5 close friends in a life time the type that would risk heaven and hell to help you.
The only thing I can tell you is try to do the club thing just keep you house and stuff out of the topic until you see how people really are with you? Believe that you will see it you already do.
just be yourself, if that does not work just stay close with those that you know from home people will open up, but you have to try new things, to find new friends , I hope that everything works out ok. I know it may not mean much but You have a new friend here.

Answer 3

As long as you're not showing off about what you have, then people shouldn't have a problem with you. However, I can see how people would show some animosity towards you if they are jealous of you. Just continue to be friendly towards others and they won't care how rich or good looking you are. As for that guy who said "oh well we can't...", that IS very hard to respond to. I wouldn't worry too much about him though because he sounds kind of jealous. People who are happy with themselves wouldn't make comments like the one that guy made so make sure to avoid people like that.

I think you should join some clubs if you have the time because it will give you a chance to meet lots of people with the same interests as you and make some new friends. Also, invite some of the people living on campus to hang out. They'll appreciate your forwardness. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Try not to be so obviously rich. Don't flash the cash around ok? Just act like you want to hang out and do what other guys do, even if it's not very fun at first. Maybe you could try going out with girls that aren't your type at first because it will give you a better reputation and you won't be known as picky. Is it possible you could try to live on campus for the week but go home on the weekend or vice versa? This would give you a better opportunity to make friendships on campus. Also i would recommend joining a club or doing some volunteer work on campus, maybe for the drama society or something...good way to meet people. Good luck. :)

Answer 5

I am also a wealthy college student, good looking but slightly overweight. I am also selective about guys and would rather stay home than be with some jerk.I dont go to bars and dont smoke. I think your problem might be that people think you are flaunting your wealth. I live in a small house and drive a Chevy Lumina. Very few people know my financial situation, and I prefer to keep it that way. People will be jealous, you cannot avoid that. Just be yourself and be friendly towards everyone. Dont tell people you have your own house, if you invite them over and they say "Wow! whose house is this?" Tell them it a "family house". Same with ur car if it is expensive. And KEEP being selective, some people will figure out you, or your family has money, and try to use you. They will ask for small amounts of help first in an effort to feel you out. They will try to move in to your house.If you do decide to let someone move in, remember you will be associated with EVERYONE they are associated with. I have been there. People will also be resentful of what you have.BE SELECTIVE.

Answer 6

I think it can be daunting for a lot of people in a new place....thats quite normal, you will find as time goes on you will make a select group of friends who will have similar pesonality traits and interests as yourself. I am not from a wealthy family but I have a few properties of my own and a decent car unlike a lot of my friends and when I similar comments I just say " I got lucky" its not all roses though I still have to work hard, we can all achieve if we work hard for it.

Its commendable that you dont drink or smoke that makes you a strong person and shouldn't be a factor in you making new friends, its quite a positive trait for a lot of people nowadays, I guess you wont be featuring in the episodes of "Booze Britain" then!! lol

New friends/acquaintances will take you for what you are, try to hold back on the wealth and car etc until you get to know them a little better, that way they'll get to know and take you for the person and your qualities rather than have their initial judgement tainted by your financial status.

Let me know how it goes my friend

Answer 7

It sounds like you have a good opinion of yourself, so this must not be the problem. I was married to a man who seemed to have it all but was unable to make friends. He would not give some people the time of day but would ridiculously fall over the people he did want to talk with. He is now 44 and still having the same problems. He lacks a center pole that keeps him upright. The center pole is really knowing yourself. What do you like in other people? What is really important to you? Then stick with your center pole. Do not let others influence who your are. As a result, you may find some people you thought that you wanted to be friends with, you are no longer interested in them.

Answer 8

I don't understand why the girls take it personally when you don't go out with them. Unless you're flirting with them, or playing games, they should understand. I'm sure that you're not the first guy who turned them down.
And about the money: you seem to be making an issue out of it, which is why people don't like you because of it. If you have money, that's great. But it's not a zero-sum gain: just because you have money doesn't mean that someone else can't. If you look and act like everyone else and don't try too hard to get along with everyone you'll be okay, but there's always going to be people who don't like you (not YOU, but you, second person plural). There's also always going to be people who like you just for your money, too.
When I was in language school a couple of years ago there was a guy who came from nothing but was now making about 8-10 thousand dollars a month. People were always asking him for money, or hating him for having it. I never asked him for any and never took it when offered. He told me I was the only person who liked him for him and not his money. He's still my friend today. There's no reason you can't be, too.

Answer 9

What a load of rubbish.

You are not rich. You only wish to be so that you could really use this scenario off line.

You see you will never ever get smart girls that will be loyal to you for life because we see you coming a mile away. You will only ever meet girls who are gold diggers and while you may have a short term relationship with them it will end when they figure out you have no money. This is the oldest trick in the book and your life will be lonely.

Get out there and be yourself. Admit you are not wealthy and you may be lucky enough to meet a girl who will see you through thick and thin.

Answer 10

This is the second post I have answered from you in as many days...I think I'm beginning to see a pattern. Because of your money, and probably your social status, most people your age feel awkward, or not good enough to hang out with you. Are you yourself setting your standards too high? What happened to the young lady you were interested in and asking advice for the other night? Did you ask her out? Why are you so "selective" when it comes to girls? Open your mind, broaden your horizens. Are you doing this to yourself by being so reclusive?

Answer 11

I can see your problem and even how you could fit in! Personally I think that some people think your mean, just because you are rich. Do good deeds to show people what a nice guy you really are! But if that doesn't work, try to fit in with some of your good friends' friends. People are more likely to like you if you have connections!