I have been married for about 3 months and we dated for about a year before. When we frist met, we had oodles of sex and cuddle time. When we got married however, my husband has pretty much stopped wanting to have sex all that often. I am lucky if I can squeeze about once a week from him. I am always doing the asking, and he won't come give me just general affection unless I pout or ask outright. He chalks it up to being older than me and having a slower sex drive. He is 29, I am 24. Can anyone give me advice? I am feeling really bitter and sad. I can't talk to him about it, he gets very defensive and argumentive, which makes me very upset. Last night he told me to stop bugging him about the issue.
2006-12-03 03:15:15 · 3 answers · asked by scottishonion 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have the same problem. My wife and I where hot and heavy when we dated. after we got married it came to a halt. Trust me he loves you just as i my wife. But asking and begging for sex is a real turn off. I got to the point that I just wanted on the spot heat of the moment sex. she wants it all the time. I like it to have meaning. put my wife got the sex 70% of the time by doing the right think. playing around and stuff.
2006-12-03 04:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not like the answer, but here goes.......
One, your husband may have a condition that needs to be diagnosed, one that decreases sexual urge and desire. Perhaps he is depressed, or something like that. A trip to the doctor would help this.
Two---Often, the longer two people are together, the more infrequent their activity becomes. At first, both parties are excited to be with somebody new, and there is a lot to learn and to do and explore. After time----they have already done this, and as a result the pure sexual drive is diminished-----not so the emotional, perhaps, but the physical. It is natural------but can be helped if both are willing to try new, exciting things, to experiment and just play.
Third.....It is worrisome that your husband gets defensive and angry when you try to broach the subject, isn't very affectionate, and acts ignorant towards your sadness. Sorry to say this----all signs that he may be cheating. Ask him if this is true----if you know him, then you will be able to tell if he is lying.
Good luck----
2006-12-03 03:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not old enough to have a "slower sex drive". Something else is going on. Like he says, stop bugging him. Just pay attention to what's going on. A guy doesn't go from tons of sex and cuddle time to zero overnight. Is he going out with other guys? Staying out late? Strange phone calls? I really hate to say it, but if it's not a medical thing, then he's lost interest and may be looking elsewhere. I'm really sorry for that. Just leave him alone for a while and see what happens. You may be in a dead end marriage.
2006-12-03 03:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by blondee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋