...me too the wake. I have been very upset and today I asked her to stay and spend the day with me to comfort me and she got mad because she already has plans to hang out with her friends. We have been together for 2 months but fell in love very quickly. She has even told me me that she wants to marry me some day. ...so when she was leaving... She told me she loves me , and I saidit didnt seem like it cause her friends were more important comforting me. That made her mad cause she says she really does love me and it hurts when i say that. I dont know what to think...i feel like she dosnt care about me.......any comments welcome
2006-12-03 02:49:29 · 16 answers · asked by ajwpoet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i told her i understood not wanting to go to the wake but that she could stay with me until i had to go...
2006-12-03 02:54:07 · update #1
I don't agree with other people saying she may not like funerals. If that was the case, she should have said so. She can just stand in an area without viewing the body. It seems like she doesn't care, based on actions.
Is this the only sign of her not caring? If so, get her another shot. If not, you can see a pattern.
2006-12-03 03:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could there be a reason she doesn't want to go to the wake other than just wanting to hang out with her friends? There are some people who just do not "do" the whole funeral home scene. I've never had a problem with it and raised my kids not to have a problem with it, but I have a step brother and two stepsisters whose father died when they were very small children, they never went to the funeral home EVER until my dad, their step-dad, died about 40 years later. No kidding. And even then they were uncomfortable and couldn't wait to get out of there. It may be that she has a hard time seeing you engulged in grief, too. Some people are just not natural caretakers of others in times of crisis. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. But it certainly does tell you some important things about her .. and whether or not she is capable of being there for you when it counts. I'm sorry about your loss.
2006-12-03 02:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can tell your girlfriend that shes a very selfish person who only cares about herself. If she cant be there for you for a death in your family then she certainly will not be there for you for anything else. Shes not the one for you and you need to find a woman who will treat you right. Ughhhh this just made me mad reading it....how some people can be so self centered and selfish. FIND A NEW GIRL AND DUMP HER. And if she doesnt like wakes then the least she should do is be there at home with you!!!!
2006-12-03 02:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you two are, but if you're still in high school, I don't think your girlfriend needs to go to your grandfather's wake.
She sounds selfish, and you sound too needy. If she can't comfort you in a time like this, maybe you should be rethinking the marriage thing.
It could just be that she's too young to be sensitive about a death in the family. Many people who have not experienced grief have no idea how to handle it in others.
2006-12-03 02:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is probably confused and embarrased and not sure how to handle you and the grief you are experiencing. Sit down with her and tell her how much you really need her support right now and that if she is not comfortable going to the wake, that is fine, she has only known you 2 months and probably hardly knew your grandfather. You shouldn't expect her to go, but you should expect her to drop her friends temporarily to help you through this tough time. Sorry for your loss and good luck
2006-12-03 02:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by dogriver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your grandfather but in your girlfriends defense I hate going to wakes I want to remember people how the were and not in a funeral it is just to depressing dont hold it against her
2006-12-03 02:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by Fergie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not trying to put her or you down in anyway....but if she really loved you, i mean REALLY loved you then she would be there for YOU during this hard time not out hanging with her friends, where do you think shes gonna be if something worse comes along? its hard to post on this topic seeing as ive never been in this type of situation but it seems to me as she cares more for her social life than her relationship and how this could affect your relationship forever. because later youre gonna ask yourself, where was she when i needed her the most?
2006-12-03 02:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by footballchica1231 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty selfish if you ask me. If she wants to marry you...well it seems like a joke. If she's not here for you when you need her now, she will definitely not be there for you when you're married. I'd take this as a serious indication of what kind of wife she'll be like.
Deepest sympathies.
2006-12-03 02:54:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how u feel. U r in pain over your grandpa's death. She needs 2 realize that her bf is in grieving and that is more important than friends. I think u also need 2 find a new girlfriend that isn't so selfish.
2006-12-03 03:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by The Voice Inside Your Head 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of people just dont like funerals... iit makes me more upset if i go than if i stay home. also, she might not know what to say at the funeral. some people want friends to say "sorry" and other people don't, so she might not want to go because she doesnt want to make you mad at a funeral by saying the wrong thing.
2006-12-03 02:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by shortyy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋