What was your worst encounter with flatulence?

Question

I accidentally cut loose with a rowdy one in a job interview!! I was nervous!

Answer 1

Ride to the top floor. Elevator full of drunk frat boys. It became a contest.

Answer 2

after taking my mother to the last of her many chemo treatments we got on the crowded elevator and I heard a loud noise. I turned and mom's face was turning red, I started to laugh, people began to stare. We got off the elevator and began to walk down the long hallway and with each step this woman (no longer my mother) began to let loose the most obnoxious noise. She kept looking at me with tears streaming down her face and laughing. We were both doubled over laughing as she made the long trek down the hallway getting louder with each step. Then suddenly I realized I was alone in the hall laughing to myself, she had darted down another hallway and was leaning on a wall laughing so hard she could not stand straight. Understand, these hallways were also the waiting rooms for doctor's offices. I went and got the car pulled it up front, went inside and escorted her out farting and laughing all the way....as we got to the door she tells ME to stop farting. It was a great way for the "old woman" to celebrate the end of chemo ...with a rip roaring laugh.

Answer 3

I thought you might enjoy a few love hints from one of my books:

Encyclopedia of Love; 1st dates


Love Hint #26 - Be Recently Bathed. On first dates, do not smell like perfume. Perfume is subconsciously distractive.
Cranberry juice and lots of water gives you a fresh smelling body and breath. Eating asparagus gives you a bad body odor. Pasta gives you energy; meat makes you tired and sleepy; potatoes relax you; bell peppers give you a better skin tone.
Love Hint #27 - No passing gas on the first date. If you have that problem, watch your diet and take a “Beano” prior to your meeting. If you do have such an accident; don't blame it on her cat.
Love Hint #28 - Do not cough, sneeze or spit on your first date.
What I really mean: Don't sneeze or spit during your first date. If you have that problem; prior to the first meeting take 1/2 dose of cough syrup, 1/2 dose of non drowsy anti-histamine, and carry cough drops with you. (But, first see your physician. ha)

Answer 4

I can remember letting a big one rip one day when I was in my car. No one else was with me at the time, but when I got to the store, I got a call on my cell phone. It was my friend wanting me to pick him up at the garage because his car had broken down. I drove there with all four windows open, but it evidently didn't work. As soon as he got into the passenger side shotgun seat, he was like, "Oh God, who let off a skunker in here???" I just wanted to vanish into thin air.

Answer 5

I was visiting Japan with a group of students in my class (I'm in high school). We had to watch a tea ceremony. The lady who was doing the tea ceremony had her niece come over, and she was really cute and nice-looking, and we all wanted to make a good impression. My teacher was there and was videotaping the whole affair.

So the lady was doing the tea ceremony really formally, and everything was really quiet. Then, I farted. Really, really, really, really loud. I wanted to go home and die.

Afterwards, to my relief, my classmates said to each other, "Dude! I think one of the old ladies farted! Did you hear it?" Everyone said they had heard it. I just said, "Yeah, old ladies...right..."

Answer 6

I was at my desk at the office. ALONE, or so I thought. I wasa so hungover. I was farting up a storm. It was so early. Nobody else ever comes in that early. Except for that day. It REEKED at my desk and a client came in. Thank the LORD for air freshener.

Answer 7

I cut one when I was in the library. And it was a rather small library too><

Answer 8

Sitting in school, I was embarrassed, almost right in front of the teacher too.

Answer 9

i used to play in a band, and me and my mates were playing on stage, and we came to a complete pause in the song, and i just blew the biggest fart ever. needless to say, we couldnt continue the song, and because the audience didnt hear it, they just thought we sucked.

Answer 10

LOL

I have a bad feeling that I fart while listening to my iPod. I can't hear it so I worry that other people can.