Ever heard of?

Question

a borderline personality? Somehow I knew from the start that this relationship, while wonderful, had an odd aura about it. Over the past several months, these oddities began to really manifest themselves. She has been reluctant at best to talk about it at all other than to say she has always been like this but I never could get a good grasp for dealing w/ her and elliciting consistent responses from her. So I did a little research and, on the advice of some responses, read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (Wow, BTW! Feels like a light is on!) Anyways, I am just wondering if anyone who has experience (esp. in relationships w/ someone w/ BPD) has any insight. I'll tell you now, she has yet to ever lash out at me (assuming I am even on the right track), but I am wondering if, the anger is there, she isn't just internalizing it.

Yeah. Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never really heard about it until a couple of weeks ago

Answer 1

The only thing you need to know about borderline personality disorder (and all the other personality disorders) is that women who have them are in the absolutely do not get involved with under any circumstances category. These women are hardcore into sickness, pain and misery and they want YOU to come along for the ride. You can have sex with them. But it is a spectacularly bad idea to have sex with them twice (if you get my meaning).

I'm deadly serious about this. It's right up there with drug addict, felon, cult member and violent abuser with things to avoid in women.

See. Here is what is going to happen. Right now, you are telling yourself either that I don't know your situation or that she is different (neither of these things is true). She is manipulative and needy (both things that activate the male instinct to protect women). Further, she runs hot and cold all the time. If you knew anything about relationships, you would know that this type of behavior causes the partner to become obsessive. It causes addiction to the other person. You know something is wrong. But you can't give it up.

This goes on for awhile and one day, you lose your f-ing mind and decide to marry her. Either that or she gets pregnant. Yadda, yadda, yadda. But, what you don't know is that people with BPD don't form normal internal maps of what someone is like. Instead, their ideas are not based on reality and tend to be disorganized and fractured. This is known as splitting. The thing to know about splitting is that these ideas about what a person is like are UNSTABLE. You think you are in love. She is engaging in a psychotic delusion. One day that delusion evaporates. It switches off. At best she now means nothing to you. Ten years together and it's like she is a stranger. However, more often, this psychotic delusion is replaced with an intense negative, stereotypical, highly distorted image of who you are. One day, you are her husband who she loves with all her soul. The next day, you are the DEVIL. The enemy. Someone to be destroyed. The worst thing is this also applies to any children you have. Your life is OVER, my friend. You will be damn lucky to convince a court not to throw your *** in the slammer as she starts making claims that you satanically ritually abused her and raped the children every saturday night for the last 5 years.

These people are the textbook definition of freakin' nuts. Dude. Get rid of her.....today. Right this minute, call her up and tell her to get lost. Have a buddy tell her you were hit by a bus and killed (whatever it takes). Do it before it's too late.

One last thing. A woman who has an eating disorder has many of these traits. It's the mini-version of this crap, only she is slightly less crazy and much more functional in her life. Get rid of these chicks too.

Answer 2

You don't give enough information to be able to know for sure if BPD is really the issue here. But if it is...

My mother had borderline personality disorder. All I can say is, Panacea's answer above is basically right (though he seems a little hysterical). The potential for major disaster is extremely high. On the other hand, if this woman is willing to get help, maybe something can be salvaged. But be realistic about the situation.

Another insight: go watch The Sopranos, season 1. Tony Soprano's mother had borderline personality disorder.

Think about it.

Answer 3

My boyfriend of 10 years has a borderline personality, which he used to self medicate with alcohol. I have learned to just give him his space when he has his mood swings, also I lived with him for 7 years and moved out a little over a year ago you can only be so supportive of someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Its hard, but if you love someone enough you will put up with just about anything, but beware just when you think things are going to go your way don't be surprised when the rug is jerked out from under you. I am still with him and consider him my boyfriend, but impossible to live with.

Answer 4

Do you mean Borderline Personality Disorder? I wish I had heard about it 23 years ago, I wouldn't have married the narcissistic guy and tried to start a family with him. My life would have turned out a lot differently and so would my son's.

Answer 5

yeah happens all the time