my dad died a year and a half ago, and i miss him so much. i feel really depressed, and i feel like my intelligence has suddenly dropped. i know i should talk to someone, but my friends have already been there for me so many times, i don't want to keep asking them for support. i don't trust my mother or my sister, or any other adult members of my family. my friends and my school work have become my life since my dad died.
please help
2006-12-03 02:13:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I lost both my parents almost 10 years ago. I can honestly say I miss them more as time passes. I think you have to pay attention to the fact that you have people in your life right now who you would miss horribly if they died and should enjoy their company. I know that you can't "replace" your father with other people but having other people around you can help. Another problem might be that you're dwelling on your dad not being there anymore. Your life will go on when you realize how lucky you were to have your dad. If you're suffering from depression triggered by your dads death, maybe you need to see a Dr. and get on medication for a little while.
2006-12-03 02:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lori E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to believe this, but it does get better with time. My dad died about eight and a half years ago. And, yes, I was a grown adult with children of my own when he died. But that honestly doesn't matter much. When you are a close to a parent and they die, no matter what age you are, it reduces you to just like a little child. I had an especially hard time, I think, since my parents had divorced when I was little and I never quite felt like I got enough time with my dad. It's good that you're focusing on your friends and schoolwork, but sometimes even that isn't enough. I actually eventually had to speak with my family doctor about how bad I felt after my dad died. I was so low, and I just couldn't snap out of it. I read a book that referred to "doing your grief work" and it explained that the sadness you feel over someone death doesn't "just go away." There are very definite stages to the grief and you have to work your way through each stage to the next. There is no right or wrong about how long it takes to get to where you are feeling better about it. Believe me, you will never stop missing your dad or thinking about him. But the actual physical pain of it and the constant thinking of him will become less and less until someday you will realize you are managing it quite well. Don't be afraid to keep asking your friends for support. Your true friends will continue to be there for you.
2006-12-03 10:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by Rvn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't ever be afraid to ask your friends for support. If they don't give it to you, then they aren't really your friends. You are hurting and there is nothing wrong with that. It's time for a good cry and a girl's night out and maybe some ice cream (i'm being totally serious). You lost someone close to you and it's going to hurt for a very long time. You need to do things that make yourself happy. If you are at a point where you really can't talk to anyone about your feelings, consider talking with your school counselor. I'm proud of you for focusing on school work and I'm happy you haven't given up on your life. Just keep pushing and things will get better. I'm sure that is what your father would want you to do after all.
2006-12-03 10:17:18 · answer #3 · answered by obsdabeff 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to miss your Daddy! But, Your daddy does not want you to be in pain. I'm a dad of 4 kids. It's painful for me to think one of them would be hurting like you if something happened to me. Let' go over what your Dad would want from you! Dad's want to see a big smile every morning and happy dreams at night. Do your best at school. Always be kind to your mother & sister and remember, They are hurting like you. If something in the past has made you not trust your mother and sister, It's time to sit down with them & fix it. Dad would want you to be a team! If you want to remember Dad today, That's great! Tell Mom you want her to fix Dad's favorite meal tonight and sit down and talk.
2006-12-03 10:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by CHUCK 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I'm so sorry for your loss! That is an awful thing to have to endure.. Think about what your dad would want you to be doing right now. Even though he is gone you can still do things right by him. I'm sure he is very proud of you! Be strong and go for your dreams, its what your dad would of wanted. You know hes there with you at all times. talk to him.. You may not hear his answers but you'll know what he's telling you. I hope that makes sense to you, cause I'm sure your intelligence is still there, you just don't think it is. Stay strong and be as happy as you can. I know when you lose someone especially a parent at a young age, its difficult, but you always have to remember there are things that he still wants for you.. Succeed at life, and be happy!
2006-12-03 10:21:18 · answer #5 · answered by Indymom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your friends proabably aren't feeling sick of you if they're true friends they'll be there to support you it's good that you've got such nice friends and that they've always been there to support you
but obciously, you can't keep turning to your friends
you need to open up to one of your family members, preferably a close member such as your mum as she is probably experiencing or has experienced the same as you. you should be able to trust them they're you're own blood and flesh, unless there is some major reason.
if all else fails, i recommend seeing a consellor they can really help and have been trained to understand you and can relate to what you're going through. a consellor is someone there for you to talk to if you can't talk to anyone else
good luck and i hope everything goes well for you x
2006-12-03 10:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jess M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart. My 19 yr old daughter lost her stepmother of 17 yrs In Oct. and she is going through the same thing. I wish there was something magical I could say to make you feel better but there isn't. You may want to talk to your school counselor about grief support groups. Remember everything you feel is normal and grief is very complicated. Books would help also. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
2006-12-03 10:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by GI 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, don't think that you can't lean on your friends. That is what they are there for, I know I would be hurt if my friends didn't come to me in a time of crisis. And know you are not losing your intelligence, you are stressed and stress keeps us from focusing. Be strong and do seek help from your friends and their parents. There are people that want to help, but you have to give them that oppurtunity.
2006-12-03 10:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by stacey h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is so sad but baby girl u need to wipe ur tears clean ur nose n pick urself up. ur dad wouldnt want u to be how u r right now. i sometimes feel i cant trust my family but i would especially need them in a time as such. be wise n grab on to someone u really can trust n who can advise u well. stop cryin and catch up wit ur life u cant bring ur dad back n no he definitely aint comin back face reality
all the best love u n so does god
2006-12-03 10:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by thebeautifultakiesha 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
r dad wouldn't want u like this.he'd want u out there having fun laughing with ur friends.u can always get support from ur true friends as long as when they need it ur there for them also.it's normal to be depressed but that can't take up ur life.get out there and be the happy girl ur dad knows
2006-12-03 10:19:53 · answer #10 · answered by alaina l 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋