2006-12-03 01:34:30 · 13 answers · asked by Tracy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 42 yrs. old now. When I was a child I spent most of my life with my mothers's parents because Mom was not there for me. By age 21 my grand parents past away. I put myself through college while working 40 hour weeks. After college I've trie so hard with Mom. During the week I take my Mom lunch 4-5 days of the week. I've done this for 4 Years. I never miss her Birthday, Mother's Day, etc. This year she got cancer and I helped with cleaning her incision after her masectomy. I love her and would give my life for her to live. She went out of town to give a speech to help other women with cancer. I admired her for that. She brought home a tape of her speech. While watching the tape my heart was broken. Mom told of her sons but never mentioned me, her only daughter. I've been devastated ever since. It's like she wished I don't exist. I spent Thanksgiving alone . I have friends who I could of spent Thanksgiving with but I was too depressed and didn't want them to know what has happened.
2006-12-03 01:57:36 · update #1
jealous, a pretty young girl and an old hag you chose! or they see every flaw in their own girl because it was passed down but see the man they married in her sons!
2006-12-03 01:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tracy, I can relate to the question you asked. Growing up I had two brothers and then there was me the only girl. When my mother wanted to be physically abusive or mentally abusive, I was the one she took all of her anger out on. In my young mind, I tried to ease the pain and thought that I was making too big of a deal out of it. When my parents divorced I lived with my dad and stayed as far away from her as possible. She moved away, but we remained in contact and started to build a relationship after I was grown.
When I was in my late twenties I received a letter from her apologizing for the hell she put me through. We eventually talked about it and she explained that I was everything she had always wanted to be and that she resented me for that. Now, I am sure you are thinking this is not a logical way to be a parent, but it does happen. For years I thought that something was wrong with me and could not even have a friendship with another female because I did not trust at all.
She is just really struggling for acceptance, do not feel sorry for her. She will have to deal with her guilt over you. If you need to distance yourself from her for your own sanity.....you will be justified in doing so. She may never come to her senses and if she doesn't then it is her loss. Don't waste your time letting her beat you down, you owe her nothing.
I hope that helps.....good luck!
2006-12-03 02:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hate is a harsh word, could depend on different things, is the daughter troublesome or rebelious? if so maybe the mother is tired of trying to contol and keep the daughter in line. is the sons younger than the daughter? if so the younger kids always get the most attention, thats just how it always seems to work....they are the babies ya know. is their different fathers involved? meaning does the daughter have a different dad than the boys? in this situation my daughters mother treats her bad sometimes because out of the 4 children she has i am the only one that stood up and has been a father to my daughter and yes shes the only one out of the 4 that is mine.....people would tell me when she was mad at me (we've been divorced since 2001) that she would take it out on my daughter, lock her in her room, not even let her out for supper, while all the other kids could roam around and do what ever they wanted....if one of the other kids did something bad she would get in trouble for it even if she wasnt even around, luckly i just won custody of her back in april of this year..
2006-12-03 01:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because, it's second nature to treat daughters like Sh*t, didn't you know that?
My mom always walks on eggshells around my brother and tells me to screw off basically.
This is very common. My grandmother treated my mom like garbage, ignored her forever, wouldn't ever call her.
I think you give too much to your mother, I understand you love her to pieces--though in my opinion she doesn't deserve it worth a crap,
but she seems very ungrateful to you.
When she asks you for a favor, and I'm not joking, stick it to her good and tell her "why don't you ask one of your lovely sons to do it for you?"
I know it will hurt you to say, but she needs a bit of a smack.
Try not calling her for a month or two or three and see what happens.
How ever long SHE allows to pass by without calling you shows you how much she really doesn't care. And that's a fact.
You walk in pride and be happy and go out and find yourself a nice network of girlfriends, ok?
contrary to your belief, you actually don't need your mother,
SHE NEEDS YOU!
Make sure you find a way to point it out to her.
2006-12-03 02:08:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
usually comes from a place of self-hatred. My mother-in-law doesn't treat her daughter well, just like her mother still treats her awful, but all of the women in my husband's life treat him like he is a king. Try and see where her place of hurt is, it may not make your relationship any closer but at least you can deal with it a little better. Also, focus on the good points that you have and move on, unfortunately not every daughter will have a good relationship with her mother. Trust that she does not in fact hate you, but is unable to show you love in the way that you can see it. I hope this helps.
2006-12-03 01:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by echofayette 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is harder for a mother and daughter to get alone til the daughter grows up. Your mother may have a harder time showing love to you then your brothers. Your personalities may clash. Most people agree it is easier to raise boys.
2006-12-03 01:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by countrygirl39 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Daughters tend to be more emotional and ask alot more from a mother than a son does... If you are spoiled and needy, you can get on everybody's nerves...especially hers... as she is an emotional being just like you.....she doesn't need any drama....
If you need to change your behaviour , to be more mature and responsible, then do so...
You need to show her that you are special and can be a positive person... Get on the right track and get busy to make some changes in your life... Talk is cheap , actions speak louder than words...
Your MOm does love you, she couldn't possibly hate you , she brought you into this world...
Even mothers of criminals still love their children, they just hate their behaviour....
Quit sniffin and put away the kleenex,,,, put away the poor me's and get into action... Get off the drama stage and put on a new face....
2006-12-03 01:43:36 · answer #7 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 6⤋
Human Nature, so they say . Dont believe that garbage. Your mom loves ya.
2006-12-03 01:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well maybe she has a thing for boys... or maybe she wanted all boys and the daughter ruined her flow. of maybe she's just cruel...
2006-12-03 01:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by SuWizzle 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Cause daughters spend more money. We need clothes and make up and accesories and all that. And guys need like a pair of panta and a hoodie and their done.
2006-12-03 01:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by 1m@ h3@rT Br3@k3r 2 · 1⤊ 7⤋