My nephews Father has moved in with me and my husband, he has been divorced from my sister for 5 years now. My nephew stays here on the weekends with his dad. The problem is my nephew has a girlfriend who's Mother has a drinking problem. She has been known to leave her daughter alone at home in the past because she obviously just doesnt care. Last night this happened and the girl had to spend the night here. I dont want this to continue in my home anymore but I feel if I tell my nephew shes not allowed over here anymore then my nephew wont visit his dad here. My sister allows his girlfriend to spend the night at her house when the mom forgets to get her daughter but I dont think its appropriate at 14 yrs. old. The Mom left her daughter alone for 3 days without contact and my sister let her stay at her house. I cant be apart of this behavior, what would you do? Please help!!
2006-12-03 01:27:55 · 13 answers · asked by julia4evert 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Someone needs to contact child welfare (it's in the blue pages of your phone book) on behalf of this girl. Or contact her school principal about her home situation. Her mother is seriously neglecting her and she needs some real help that's beneficial to her. Letting this girl sleep over is not helping her in any way, it's only compounding the problem. No one is resolving the root of the problem. The poor child needs stability and nurturing in her life. Tell your ex brother-in-law and your nephew in a non-confrontational, but stern way, you're not going to allow this type of behavior. Get straight to the point and don't beat around the bush. Children needs guidiance from adults and by allowing them to do what ever they want to is not helping them in any way. One important question. Who's going to be responsible for the care and financial support of a helpless infant born to two 14 year olds? When adults allow this type of behavior in their home, they're contributing to corrupting the morals of a minor, which can be offense. Don't worry about what your newphew will do, you can deal with that part later. Right now, it's time to do what you know is the right thing to do.
2006-12-03 03:51:05 · answer #1 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation! Have you ever heard the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child"? This little girl needs help and if she was put in your path then it was for a reason. As long as you are not allowing the pair to sleep in the same room, I don't think there should be a problem.
However, I don't understand the ex brother in-law's living arrangements with you. Why is he living with your family in the first place?
As for the little girl, you need to get in touch with a relative and let them know what is going on and then call Social Services. She is in a situation she has absolutely no control over and needs some help. Be a good person and help her, she may have no other chance if you don't help her.
2006-12-03 10:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you may not let your own children do this sort of thing, I think it would be up to the boy's father whether or not the girl can stay with him. If you are worried about them sleeping together make them aware that you wont have anything happening in your house and give them seperate rooms to sleep in. If You are really uncomfortable with the girl spending nights at your house maybe you should consider contacting welfare, as it may be in the best interests of the girl to be living in a more stable environment.
2006-12-03 09:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by strawberry_fairy_6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with sleepovers at that age as long as they're monitored. Just have one of them sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag or something. Yea she's not your kid but as a person it might be nice for you to help out anyway u can. But if its really that bad then u might want to contact the proper people to handle the situation. Cause at one point or another she's gonna leave her kid home alone and for once no one is going to be there to take her in till her mom gets back. And thats not fair to the kid.
2006-12-03 10:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ash420Granito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the problem is not at your home but at the girls real home. I'm sure the mom's behavior is not up standards of the state child welfare department.
This little girl needs a role model at this age and for you to worry about your house is only half of the problem, you should care about the girl (since her Mom does not) see to it that the proper agency looks into this matter and makes sure that she is taken care of ALL OF THE TIME not just at your place.
2006-12-03 09:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by chuck m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have any of it. Tell nephew and girlfriend straight that the age of consent is 16 and that you're having no nonsense under your roof. Visits are ok but sleep overs are a no no. I know you can't stop them completely, if he's going to give her one they'll find a way around it. But this way you'll be comforted in the knowledge that you've done your bit.
2006-12-03 10:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by hedgeybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact child protection services.....
I wouldn't want to take on someone else's problem either ...It can lead to problems that you don't need.
It is your house and you are right in your decision...
If everyone keeps housing this child with no consequences to the mothern, then nothing will be done...
Make the calll...
It is time for your b-in-law to get his own place......
Read him the riot act and give him a date to move...
You are not a safe house, flop house or a shelter....
This problem will only be the first of many with people like this in your house.....Your sister isn't living there is she???????
Clean house....
2006-12-03 10:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your home and you have the right to make decisions about what happens there. If you are not happy with the situation then talk to the adults involved and make a change. Don't accept anything that makes you uncomfortable in your own home.
2006-12-03 09:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you should directly talk to your nephew, you should talk to his father and discuss it with him not LAY OUT THE LAW but discuss it with him and ask him to do the same with your sister, or maybe even you could do it. and if they dont listen well then you cant do much about it. at the end of the day its your nephew and not your own son. dont be too hard on yourself. No offense intended, its jus my opinioin
2006-12-03 09:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Super Brown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay down the law... It's your house and if the father or the nephew doesn’t like it, then they can support get their own place.
2006-12-03 09:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ed A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋