A 33 year old woman who I have met professionally 3 times is flirting with me. She is divorced and has two kids. She wants me to meet her son, is bringing me special sweets I like from her home town, and asked for my phone number, said "that's great!" when I told her i was single, and she is a really hot looking scorpio gal and makes lots of sexual innuendo jokes and has a killer smile.
She got divorced recently (maybe within a year or two) and she doesnt allow the ex to se her kids cause he doesnt support them. She said she has gone through tough times emotionally, mentally &financially &her ex was alcoholic. her son told her 2remarry.
She lives with her kids & works full time. When we parted last she hugged and did a cheek kiss on me & was in 2much ecstasy while doing it.
I am single w/out kids. I find her attractive. I appreciate the interest.
Im a vegetarian & never drink/drugs. Shes been veg off on (but not presently).
I have hesitation due 2 kids?
COMMENTS? TY
2006-12-03 01:06:02 · 11 answers · asked by AVATAR.1. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hesitation due to kids doesnt mean I wouldnt accept them (havent met them), but that I wouldnt want to start a relationship without their approval, but then I wouldnt make a commitment until I got to know her and them all better. So it is catch 22! Anyone with experience at this that had a positive experience? Very sticky situation. I am mostly concerned for the kids cause I also had this happen to me as a kid (parents divorced) and know that it caused me lots of hurt feelings that I didnt express at the time.
What should be the progression?
1. see her quietly
2. decide on her
3. meet the kids
4. decide on the package
???
Or kids first and then try and then decide?
No easy answer I see.
2006-12-03 01:21:04 · update #1
Go for it. She seems really sweet. Remember, they won't be kids forever.
2006-12-03 01:15:30 · answer #1 · answered by TRULEY MADLY DEEPLEY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a single mom. If you have reservations then maybe it is not the best thing for you. You sound more attracted to her than interested in her. If that is true, then there are many other women out there that will be a better match for you.
On the other hand, being a single mom is not a disease or handicap. There are so many single mothers out there with alot to offer if given the chance. I never had a problem with dating and to my knowledge my kids never scared away potential relationships. Do be careful about getting close to the kids though and don't play dad. I had a couple of boyfriends that my kids never even knew we were dating and to this day they are still close to my kids, but I think it would have affected my sons badly if they knew we had actually dated.
I have only dated one guy with kids and the rest have been non-parents. If you think you can see yourself dating this woman, then take the chance and you will have a different perspective.
2006-12-03 01:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with yourself. Are you willing to take on the responsibility of two children who are not yours? At some point you will be dealing with the x, he is the father of the children. Just be completely honest with yourself. If this is not something you are wiling and able to deal with then do not date her. They are a complete package, and it would be really unfair to begin a relationship and then find out it is something you do not want to, the children would feel another loss. You are not just dating a single women, this is a complete package. Consider the pros and cons and just be honest. Not wanting to date a women with children in the home does not make you a bad person. This is a responsibility different from dating someone without children. However, can work. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-03 01:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids come as a part of the package. If you dont want to be involved with the kids also i wouldnt suggest you go out with her. She doesnt need men coming in and out of her childrens lives. Its not fair to them. If you dont plan on being with her for the long run then dont do it,,no matter what she says. By men coming and going out of the lives of the kids it could very well screw thier heads up more than they proably already are due to thier father. Dont do it for your own selfishness of wanting her for just a sex partner or something like that. Think of the kids first.
2006-12-03 01:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look. Those poor kids need a father. Im not sayin that u should date he rust for the kids sake. But ur single with no kids and shes single too with kids. Wats the hesitation? Because the kids arent yours? Thats all of your pride right their. But sometimes you have to swallow your pride and do it.
2006-12-03 01:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by 1m@ h3@rT Br3@k3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person has an hesatation regarding a potential love interest, it is best to listen to your "inner voice". When the right one comes along, there will be no hesitation or doubt.
2006-12-03 01:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by jenneve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, if you like her give it a go... There's no such thing as a perfect situation... Do the kids really make a difference or are they just a barrier you've created because you're unsure?
2006-12-03 01:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is a DR. were talking about find someone new they should not be playing with your emotions sounds like you really like her but you dont seem to be into kids so i say dont go for it find someone else
2006-12-03 01:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whats to hesitate --- get to know her it may not work out but if it does you will accept the whole package gladly
if you worry about everything that may or may not happen you would be paralyzed ---- go out with her you may be surprised
2006-12-03 01:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the one to take a decision. beauty plays a role only for some time. it is the inner beauty that you should seek. if you think she has sound moral values, if you think you could treat her kids as if your own go for it. think with your brain. don't think with your ___________. all the best!!
2006-12-03 01:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by kaj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋