should i give him a chance?

Question

i have a great bf from the past 4 years.we're great together......he's crazy about me,is intelligent,caring,decent.....everything i could ever want.
i started chatting with a guy 3 months back.....he's very decent,loving,caring,intelligent.........a great friend overall.i didn't tell him about my bf until a few days ago cuz i wasn't sure i wanted to divulge that bit of personal info.so now he knows abt him.he still asked me out a few days back.he knows m committed.so i got pissed at him.we managed to work out things though and.....i thought we were cool.during the conversation i told him that i had feelings for him a few months back but not anymore.now he's behaving extremely weird with me.our conversations are strained and....just weird.....thing is....i think i like him as a bit more than a friend.but i have a bf.is it wrong that i want to give this guy a chance anyway?cuz a part of me really wants to but i dont want to two-time my bf.....i really love him.....
thanx for answering!

Answer 1

Don't be dis-honest. Be honest. Put it out there and see what happens. Good luck.

Answer 2

Very interesting question. I can tell that your heart is torn between both of these people that you obviously have strong feelings for. I have tried to be in a relationship with two people at once in the past (I had a fiance living up north and had a relationship with someone else in the south where i went to college). I found, however, that after a while (after the initial infatuation phase) with the new individual it will become clear which person you desire the most. Whoever starts giving you the "tummy tickles" (be it the ex or the new person) is the one you need to go after. In my opinion it is perfectly cool to love both of them at the same time (believe me there are FAR worse crimes than tossing out a little extra love) until it becomes apparent which one captures your heart. If you play the "game" the way society (and your current love) expects you to by breaking up with one person before going after another you very well might find yourself a lonely and unhappy old man. I've become emotionally callous to so called "cheating" a long time ago and have a clear understanding now that you need to basically go by the rule that "everything is fair in love and war" and find your true love. If I had not acted as stated above, I would not be happily married with a new baby (a miracle in my eyes) now. I hope you trust I am a good person because I speak from my heart. It is time for you my friend to listen to your heart right now. Do whatever you need to do to give both people a chance at capturing your heart. It is a noble cause and worth any guilt you may encounter during the process. Your heart and your soul will thank you for the sacrifice. True happiness awaits, but like all good things it comes with a price. Pay it in full and the guiding light of love will lead your heart to it's rightful owner.

Answer 3

It seems you are unsure of your true feelings for your bf otherwise any other guy would be "friend only" material. The only fair thing to do here is to tell your bf the truth, tell him that you are having doubts and you need some space to figure things out. Let him know that he is also free to see other people during this "break" because you plan on doing so also. If he agrees to it, great, if not then I guess it is over and you are risking your "wonderful" relationship for some guy you met 3 months ago.

Answer 4

Hey how are ya?

You sound very clear and distinctive about how you feel about both guys. Its clear that your after the same qualities in a guy. However you mentioned that one is your boyfriend of 4yrs and the other guy is a good friend. From what you've described I'm thinking you need to start 'BEING' in the relationship more, because it sounds like its there to service you only in a way. What about your boyfriend? It depends on how your relationship is going. Are you prepared to risk it ending?

What if he was to give some other girl a chance? Would that be wrong to you?

I hope this helps, good luck, it'll work out fine.

Answer 5

That's understandable. You can't help how you feel sweetie. But I wouldn't give him a chance because He's been acting weird since you told him your feelings. So he probably doesn't feel the same way. So if you were to break up w/your bf, then you won't have either one of them. But, it is possible he acts different because you withheld an important part of your life from him. And he was probably having feelings for you. If you're having doubts about your current boyfriend, I would break up w/him so that he won't be hurt. Because he will be even more hurt if he found out you were cheating on him.

Answer 6

Tough.....if you really love someone you would never want to hurt them. And cheating on them will hurt them.

If you have genuine feelings for both, you need to take time out and think about what you really want.

Getting involved with two people at the same time, you will all get hurt and its a mind f*ck! hope this helps a bit x

Answer 7

If you have a good thing going, why mess that up? There's always another guy out there. If the guy asked you out after knowing your in a serious relationship, ask yourself what kind of guy this really is? Come on, if he puts no value in your relationships, what value does he put in his own?

Answer 8

personally i think that you can not love your bf that much if you making eyes at another. you seem more scared that you will end up with neither of them. only you can decide what is best for you though. but if you wanna start something with this guy then drop your bf first as it wont be fair on him.

Answer 9

Have you met this guy from online in person? if not how do you know who he really is without meeting and getting to know him. and if you say you love your curent bf then why are you looking for someone else just be carful with hurting everyone involved even your self

Answer 10

if you don ffeling for that guy just no, just be friends. you shoulden sending wrong signal at first but since you don want to be with him just say no to him.