How do I handle my mother in laws bias....?

Question

I don't know if she even knows what she is doing...she always makes excuses as to who gets what..and it is her daughter and all her family that are the recipients...my husband, our daughter, son-in-law, grandson and I do receive things but it is not nearly equal...we are good and kind to her and I know she loves us as well....we feel hurt, but try not to let it bother us, but it is underlying and won't go away

Answer 1

Without knowing the background of all parties involved and only your outlook on the situation, you see what most are saying, that your thinking of the materialistic angle only or gain to you.

I do know what your saying. I had a mother-in-law that was the same as yours. She was a good hearted person, she loved all her children and grandchildren. But broken down she seemed to favor some more than others. I guess because I am an out-spoken person and would rather know the "why" rather than assume the worse I asked her outright, when we were alone together. This is what she said and how she felt.
I love all of you equally. When I talk to you all, I know only what you tell me, I do not read minds and with growing older I don't trust my assumptions as I once did. My daughters tell me if they are depressed and why, if it's a matter of making ends meet or infidility it does not matter, we have always been very close. My son's on the other hand care for me very deeply and try so hard to take the place of their father so I do not go without or want for anything, it could be pride that keeps them from admitting to any hardship in their lives, I don't know. I rely on you girls, my daughter-in-laws, to keep me posted on their private wants. If you do not speak up and say "we'd like that" or "I need" , then I do not know for my son's would never devulge this to me. If you feel you are slighted by my actions towards the others you need to tell me, I never meant to hurt any of you, just help in my own little way. I am always there for all of you. I may only have two arms but they can hold many many hearts.
She discribed my husband to a "T" and he would have strangled me if I had ever mentioned any financial or marital problems to her or any one in his family...I always had my own mother to go to so I knew what she meant about her daughters versus her sons.

Answer 2

ok, allow me provide you this. She is her and he or she has each proper to be her, to contain being a bigot or racist is she should be. you may't replace that except with the aid of providing her a reason to view you in a distinct way. that is about it. No, you have not any proper to call for she see issues otherwise or keep her mouth close. She has each proper to love or dislike all people for even if that reason as well as to assert purely what she ability. because you don't like what she says or how she thinks does no longer supply you a suitable to make certain if he or the little ones might want to be round her. that is egocentric and stupid. You made a decision to be with this guy. in case you probably did not see or get exhilaration from what might want to contain it, too undesirable for you. yet to face there and demand is out of bounds. you do not opt for her to be able to finish that, so why is it any extra suited in case you do the very similar element? It isnt. that is purely that you at the on the spot are the only doing it so as that differences all, proper? nicely, it does no longer replace something in any respect. you're trying to administration too many stuff and too a lot of human beings and it received't paintings. It cant paintings that way. stop with the slender minded human beings crap. many situations, human beings have valid motives for what they imagine or say. purely because you do not believe them or like what they're saying, does no longer lead them to incorrect nor evil. I ensue to imagine that many so called open minded human beings, opened their minds a lot that they permit all experience fall out. only a distinction in how human beings see issues.

Answer 3

There's really nothing you can do to change her, but have you tried dropping hints, without saying anything outright?

Is she older? I guess the best you can do is "try" to let it not bother you, though that is much harder than it sounds.

Answer 4

You are being too materialistic. If you love her and she loves you, why are material things that important to you? Is that what you are in the game to gain?

Answer 5

why does what she gives others bother you be greatful for what you have it might be that she has something better in store for the rest of you be patient it will pay off