My ex and I broke up 8 months ago now and I am still every bit as hurt over it as I was when it first happened. I know it can't be normal to hold on to this for so long, can it? Much of it probably has to do with the fact that for the first time in my life, I thought I had met "the one" and I was truly happy. I thought everything was perfect. How could I have been so wrong? Because of this, all the self esteem I ever had is gone. I feel that because I was not good enough for her, I am not good enough for anyone. I also feel like I can never let myself love again. It's like there is this giant hole in the center of my chest all the time. 8 months later and I still cannot let go of the hurt she caused. Isn't that WAY too long? Will it ever get better?
2006-12-02 23:45:03 · 10 answers · asked by PhilliesPhan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is nothing wrong with you for still harboring feelings for the relationship you were in. The only way you can truly get over things is to find closure. It could be through trying to maintain contact or a friendship with your ex. If you try, at least you can say you did try, no matter the outcome. All pain eventually stops. There will be a scar on your heart which probably will never go away but just because your heart scars does not mean it cannot love again. You'll find love, know that you're deserving. Rather than focusing on a relationship that failed, work on things about yourself that you believe will make it better. Everyone messes up sometimes and even if they don't things can go wrong. Don't let yourself get too down on it because when you live in the past, you cannot live in the present, or have a future.
2006-12-03 00:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it gets better. But you need to start thinking about other things, particularly yourself. Stop wondering where things went wrong and what's wrong with you. And certainly don't look for a new girl to fill the hole. Instead, work on liking yourself. Find some new hobbies or get really into the ones you have. Travel. Take walks or classes. You have to make yourself believe that you are a good, worthy person. Because you are. But if you sink into the drain of feeling sorry for yourself and only thinking about her...you won't get out. And when you want to meet a new person, she won't be interested because she'll see you're miserable.
Grief is normal, but it should get a little easier every day.
2006-12-03 07:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww Im so sorry. You obviously truly love(d) her and thats why you're still hurting. Time will heal all wounds. If it was meant to be you guys would have been 2gether still or will be together later on. Im sure ur good 4 someone :) cheer up, life isnt so bad. Plenty of other girls, the right one is still out there u might not now it yet.
2006-12-03 07:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember one thing: She didn't cause your pain YOU did! Only you can control or dictate your emotions; if you want to feel sorry for yourself for 8-9 months, then don't complain. She obviously isn't sitting at home pining away because you aren't there...get on with your life and man up! Go find a hobby and a fun chick to hang out with, she'll be in the distant past in a few hours!
2006-12-03 08:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A life time some times is still not enough time to get over a broken heart
2006-12-03 07:52:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you were truly in love it take twice as long to forget the person as you were with the person. Say I was with someone for 1 year and i really loved him it would take me a good two years to "forget" him. I also believe that you never really get over the people that you really loved. They become something like your brother and sister. You might be mad at your sister for whatever but she is always going to be your sister... In a way! Good luck though!!!
2006-12-03 07:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by alegna_2004 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For me more than a couple of days is too long to have a broken heart, go out to a strip club and have some fun
2006-12-03 07:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can be broken hearted for years, but if you dont let yourself continue to live your life and love again, thats bad. Just because you are broken hearted, doesn't mean you cant love another.
2006-12-03 07:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it will never go away so dont expect it to but remember, giving up on her doesnt mean you are weak it just means you're strong enough to let go.... be strong enough .... she would want you to be
2006-12-03 07:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by A.F.J.D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes as long as it takes, mate.
2006-12-03 07:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋