How can I work in a busy office yet I cant go into any busy shop on my own?

Question

I have been diagnosed with depression, I have worked for the past 2 weeks in an office doing data entry in a busy office.

Anxiety is a big thing for me as are big crouds yet I feel comfortable in the office working away.

I went to the shops with my mum for shoes at the weekend and she left me to it, I headed straight home and didnt walk in any shop except a quiet one to buy some cigs.

Yeah it is a bit like being judged and paranoia too. I done shopping online last year will probably do that again this year too but shopping online for shoes is a bit hard.

Answer 1

Are you scared that ppl will judge you on what you own? or what you buy? Dont worry about it you'll be fine! :)

Answer 2

Yes, quite understandable. You know exactly what you are supposed to do at work. Nobody violates your personal space at work. They let you just get on with it.

When you're shopping, however, you have to elbow your way through a crowd sometimes. And there are other times when two people actually aim towards looking at the same pair of shoes at the very same time. (Ghastly!) People pushing into your space can be a little uncomfortable.

One thing you might think of is that other people feel exactly like you do about shopping. Instead of getting away from crowds, they just grumble and (gently) push (or slip!) through.

When the Christmas shopping madness (also known as Silly Season) is over, you might try being a little pushier yourself, in a nice way. You might feel others are glaring at you, but if you smile sweetly and say "Excuse me!" or "I'm so sorry!" they will make a little path for you as if you are a princess.

Your feeling of "pushing outwards" should overcome your discomfort about the crowd.

You might also try imagining beforehand exactly where you are going, and then go there, do your thing, and get out. Not too quickly! Remember, you're a princess! Next shopping trip, go to TWO shops until you're comfortable, then add more shops over time.

Go slowly -- and beautifully. You will prevail.

Answer 3

I tend to agree with "Starlet10". It may be that office work is a "safe" and familiar setting. Your duties are clearly spelled out and you know what's expected of you. You also know what to expect from others. Shopping is undefined territory AND you have to make decisions. You could try looking through a window into a crowded shop (like Harrod's). Then go home. Come back another time and walk inside. Stand there for 5 minutes, then leave. Stay for progressively longer periods of time, walk around, look at the goods. Then one day, try something on. Eventually, you'll be able to stay long enough to make a purchase. You may also benefit from therapy and a prescription for an anxiolytic.

Answer 4

I have a similar problem with busy places and big crowds but I feel I
feel you should face your fears.
1. keep your mind on the item you are looking for always
2. Approach one person to help you if you need any help
3. Once this has been achieved move out of the shop go where you are comfortable and give yourself a big mental hug, for a job well done
4. Never compare yourself to others as you are unique and special in your own personal way the best there ever was.
5. Above all LOVE YOURSELF

Answer 5

Its all to do with what you are familier with - although in a big office you were entering data which you are obviously confident in doing. Because you were working your mind is on your work and not on who is around you. But out in the shops you feel vulnerable because its unfamilier surrundings and people. I feel for you coz I have exactly the same thing - I only feel happy at home - if I go out someone has to be with me - its a nightmare xx

Answer 6

In the office you are 'moving' along and around the office with a familiar crowd and with work duties you are familiar with.
Familiar territory.
When you focus on an activity that you are confident with, anxiety doesn't get a 'look-in' (pressumably).
But, once out of that environment you feel like a square-peg-in-a-round-hole.
Go to the shop with a friend (or family member) who knows of your fears. Get them to stay with you, not stray from you, and gradually you may build up confidence to go by yourself or be around crowds.
Good luck.

Answer 7

It sounds as if you could have agoraphobia as well as depression, you see the office as a safe place, one where you know where all the 'escape' routes are if you need to be on your own? where as if you are in a crowd and have all these people milling around, you would find that difficult? Talk to your GP again he/she may be able to suggest group therapy or even counseling of some kind to see when/why it started.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

We all feel that way sometimes. If you are busy the your mind is focussed on other important issues whereas you donotneed to focus as much on crowds. You need counselling. Try breathing tecquiques to get your mind in to gear. Email me on kerryb4@optusnet. com.au and I can give you some tips that my counselor gave me.

Answer 9

Shop online. Dont bother going out shopping.

Answer 10

Its sound like you have a fear of people watching and judging you,

Get this Anxiety treated before it gets worse! You can beat this with proper help but, you need to stay focused and strong to see this through.

Good luck.

Answer 11

have manic/depression , now they call it bipolar disorder. my doctor has me on Valium for the anxiety and i notice that I function quite well at work...offering suggestions to improve production, quality and safety. Now we are starting a CNC operation and they have told me that I will over that process= anxiety! wellbutrin should help me. but it can cause very vivid dreams. good luck to you and write me back cuz feedback from a fellow disorder is like group therapy at no cost!! thanks for your question!