I want to tell her how sorry I am for her loss. At the same time she did not want my husband to tell me that she lost her baby. She knew that all along there was a chance she could miscarrie. She had been taking shots in the belly to help her pregnancy. I on the other hand have been on bed rest the whole time. I will be delivering early per the dr thinks it is best at 35 weeks. I want to reach out to her and just let her know that I care deeply and wish with all that I am I could see her happiness. My husband wants me to leave her alone and say nothing. I cried so much when he told me that she lost her baby. The worst thing is that she had to hold her baby for 2 more days to scheduale for the baby to be removed. When the lord permits us to see each other, what should I say? How should I act? I want to be a friend but I don't want to hurt her by losing it. Any suggestions? Friends we know who are in the same circle wonder if we should invite her to the baby shower? What r ur thoughts?
2006-12-02 21:03:05 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
We found out Monday that the baby had no heart beat. My husband told me that night when he got home. The baby was removed this Wed. and she had to stay for another procedure Friday. We got word that she was doing fine and should return back to work on Monday. Her family came in from out of town and she asked friends to give them time. Of course we can all understand her request. It didn't even happen to me and yet I am so sad it hurts. My husband says she never would say my baby or my child she always refered to the baby as the child or the kid. Wow
2006-12-02 21:14:43 · update #1
Invite her and let her know you understand if she isn't able to come. If she isn't comfortable....she won't come. But excluding her may just amplify her loss.
Be her friend. She doesn't resent your pregnancy....I am sure she would hate for anything to happen to you. Her loss is her own and, as her friend, the best thing you can do is be there for her and act naturally.
You are obvioulsy a kind and loving person.....my best to you during your pregnancy!!
2006-12-04 21:23:37 · answer #1 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send her a grievance card, and in it let her know that you're there for her if she'd like to talk, anytime. When it's time for the baby shower, call her instead of sending an invite and let her know that you want her there but understand that she may not be comfortable attending.
When I lost my first baby I couldn't even look at other expecing moms for awhile. One of my co-workers announced she was pregnant the week after my baby died and insisted on talking about her pregnancy every time she was around me. At first I thought I was just being oversensitive, but after a few weeks of this I realized she really was just a heartless bi*tch. It wouldn't have bothered me nearly as much if she had jsut taken the time to acknowledge my loss.
2006-12-03 09:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by Emily O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are sorry for her loss and that you are there for her. If she asks you to talk or do something, do it if you can. There is not too much else you can do, she has to grieve. If you need to cry with her, I think she will understand. This is the time to be supportive and be there for her, not worry about how you will look to her. And yes, you ***must*** invite her to the baby shower, it would be rude not to. If she does not want to go, you will understand but that has to be ***her*** decision.
2006-12-03 05:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her how she would feel about coming. She may need some time to get over this loss, and different people handle loss in different ways. Your friend might not want anyone's sympathy and wants the subject to go undiscussed. The only thing you can do is ask!
2006-12-03 05:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call and talk to her... I had a miscarriage and I was fine talking about it... of course I say the way I felt was different, I was 14 weeks and my ex had just left me for someone else and this was going to be our second child, which I wanted... Had no clue what he was doing.
Talk with her... Just call and tell her that she has been in your thought and does she want to talk about what she is feeling...
Then you will know how to proceed.
Good luck!
2006-12-03 05:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋