My dad who I am so proud of is a recovering alcoholic. He almost died 1yr ago. Since then--sober. Hes very unhealthy. He has Hepetitis B--makes his body weaker every day. He has had both hips replaced & a TERRIBLE back. Hes n pain 24/7. He cant work b/c of his disability, He just lies on the couch 24/7 & watches TV. My mom is a mentally depressed woman who is not happy w/ life. She has been put through hell & back with my dad. She has no family they all abandoned her. And has had depression symptoms b/c of that. They live in a small trailer & have nothing 2 look forward to. Has any1 been in my situation? I just want to hear how other ppl handled it. I love my family but it breaks my heart to see them like that. I feel helpless and so sorry for them.
I have a 8 yr old brother who lives there w/ them. I feel like our parents are affecting him mentally. And he may steer into trouble. So I will be taking him in to live w/ me when I graduate college in about 3 yrs.
2006-12-02 20:56:14 · 7 answers · asked by Britni Gayle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Very touching. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a very bad situation that seem difficult to get out of. But of course, you could. There must be state and federal programs that you can turn to for financial help. On the othe hand, hang in there and know that helping yourself and your brother maybe the best thing that you can do to your parents. I am sure that seeing you succeed in life will make them feel better.
2006-12-02 21:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother is 70 years old and has been depressed her whole life. She also has chronic emphysema and is in and out of the hospital constantly. I live 2,000 miles away, and I often feel very helpless. The number-one thing to remember is that you cannot change other people. You can suggest that your mother see a psychiatrist and get therapy and a prescription for anti-depressants, but if she's anything like my mother, she won't listen to you. You have to remember that it isn't your fault if people don't take your advice. You have to remember to live your own life. Otherwise their burdens and pain become too much of who you are and negatively affect EVERYTHING in your life--consciously and subconsciously. I know this from years of experience.
The other day, my therapist asked me how I handle my mother's illness and depression. I told her that over the past few months I have pushed it into a small, faraway corner of my brain. She said, "Denial has some value. Only pull it out [my mother's illness/depression] when you have to." I have found that this is the only way I can really live my own life and not take on my mother's tremendous problems as my own. She won't listen to any advice I give her. I don't blame her for that, I don't resent her. People do the best with what they have. You may consider joining Al-Anon to learn other coping strategies.
Also, you are remarkable for planning on taking your little brother in. Good luck with everything.
2006-12-03 05:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by afbrown70 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry love, people have to want the help and your parents may be a bit reluctant. There are always community services available in your area. Phone them and ask what assistance they can offer. Community services can offer everything from health assistance to community outings and gatherings. Your brother is very lucky to have you, don't leave it too late to care for him if you can. Community services will also be able to assist you financially when your brother comes to live with you. Take care and all the very best.
2006-12-03 07:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by fritzy64 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are all responsible for our own condition. You can not help them if they do not want to be helped, and this sounds like the case, I'm sorry to say. Your little brother will be what he will be ,probably the opposite of his parents. Be there for him ,let him know you care and offer help, he is too young to make that kind of decision for himself, but a lot can change in 3 years. By then, the damage may well be done and not be unchangeable. Let him know that not everyone lives the way your parents do., that he has choices, give him hope. Good luck to all your family. It is good of you to care and want to help them..God be with you.
2006-12-03 05:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by territizzyb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one can really figure out how painful and helpless you and your brother is going through, you sound really in a hepless situation, there is not much you can do since you are still in school. Are you the eldest?. All you can do is to give your mom the moral support that she needs. Eventually years and time will come that you will be able to really help them.
2006-12-03 05:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, i do not know how to absolve your situation, but i just said a prayer for you. maybe other users can do the same.
2006-12-03 05:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Therapy, therapy, therapy. For all of you.
2006-12-03 04:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋