Ok I really need your help on this one. My wife is from Africa and I from the states. This is the deal Myself and my wife also her sister live together in the same home. Example when we are all in the same room together watching the news, movie, or sometimes just sitting around well you get the point, they speak there native language back and forth between them about the above. But the kicker english is there second language, also they speak it well. Engilsh they learn when they are in the 1st grade all the way thru there education. My point... I told my wife how I feel on this matter but there is no change I think they are being rude. Please tell me how you feel about this. Thank you for your time.
James
2006-12-02 18:46:53 · 11 answers · asked by bmw740 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think it is rude also. But since she isn't willing to change you have three choices, which are, learn her language, accept the situation, or divorce.
2006-12-02 18:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work with speakers of many different languages who are also very proficient speakers of English, and things like this happen around me all the time. Regardless of how fluent someone is in a new language, you always feel most comfortable speaking in your first language if the person you are talking to (like your sister) speaks it too. If they aren't talking about you behind your back, I don't have a problem with it.
2006-12-04 17:26:41 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they both know english well, it is very rude. If they wish to speak their native language they should do that only when you are not around. Although maybe they do and just slip into it accidently when you are there. Did she say why they do this, or if they forget you are there? Maybe even they don't realise they are doing it.
2006-12-03 04:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what your wife is doing,is very rude. It excludes you from participating in the conversation. But what you also must consider is that maybe it's a way of bonding between her and her sister. I could understand why it bothers you and I would suggest that you tell her that if you are in the same room, watching the same show in the same langueage, that you ALL understand then it would be most polite of them to exclude you in the convo.
Ask her to consider your feelings and how she would like it if you sat in the room with her and spoke to your brother in another language while you were watching the televsion together.
**you could always ask her to teach you that way you can be a apart of both conversations.
Good luck
2006-12-03 02:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by GreyRainbow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where in Africa do they come from?
If english is someone's second language, they will only speak their native tongue as often as possible with people who they can communicate with! If they're talking to someone else who's english, then they'd of course speak english! I would also feel left out, just tell her again!
2006-12-03 04:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Think they are being rude especially if you have told your wife how you feel and she does not take they into consideration could go watch TV in another room and see how long it takes her to notice that your not watching it with them anymore or you could also go take a course at a college that teach their African language and just start talk to them in their language and see what they think about you learn it
2006-12-03 03:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by krazy4_coke2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you shouls bring it again to her attention. Tell her she needs to understand that this is an issue that is bothering you.
Obviously, if she hasn't done anything about then there is a lack of respect towards you. You need to let her know in a firm way that it needs to stop and let her know as we say in spanish, "Yo llevo los pantalones" ( I wear the pants in this house) Just playing.
I would think the best thing would be to talk to her again and if there's no change then you might want to consider watching Tv in another room.
2006-12-03 02:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by lmluis22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bugs you so much why don't you learn the language. There is a bond between them. Probably not a good idea to do anything in regards to breaking that bond.
Is it bad etiquette? In America I would think so. Is it bad etiquette for you to complain about it openly? I think so.
2006-12-03 03:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about setting aside certain days for them to speak their own language. All other days only English will be spoken. That might work for you.
2006-12-03 02:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by no nickname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is rude..i hate that i might go to like my friends house and they speak there language to eachother..they could be talking bad about you or your family in front of your face and you wouldnt know it..i think that is extremely disrespectful especially when your around..
2006-12-03 02:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by Cool Person 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋