What's the Bible's stance on premarital sex if you will be with that person the rest of your life?

Question

I am a Christian who has been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We are going to get married and have already started having sex. I am confused as to if that's a sexual sin. I would really love some clarification, preferabley from a Reverend/Minister/Pastor. I know that sex is intended for intimacy and to be shared with only one person, but that's what I'm doing. Also, I know it's meant for procreation and I'm not ready for that, but a lot of married couples aren't ready right away and use birth control and things like that. I have lots of confusion and would appreciate any help. Thank you.

I am a Christian who has been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We are going to get married and have already started having sex. I am confused as to if that's a sexual sin. I would really love some clarification, preferabley from a Reverend/Minister/Pastor. Also, I more apt to believe you and help myself figure it out if your answer comes with actual biblical proof. Basically, how do you know that it is a sin (and not just cuz someone besides the Bible told you so)? I know that sex is intended for intimacy and to be shared with only one person, but that's what I'm doing. Also, I know it's meant for procreation and I'm not ready for that, but a lot of married couples aren't ready right away and use birth control and things like that. I have lots of confusion and would appreciate any help. Thank you.

Answer 1

Jesus said that those who even have lustful thoughts commit adultery, those who fornicate will burn in eternal fire. Any type of sexual acts is only allowed between a married couple. Also if your not ready to have a baby yet I'd suggest abstaining from sex, since that's not the most important thing in a marriage... or you could try natural family planning which doesn't go againts the bible.

Answer 2

You don't say what your denomination is. Some denominations would just tell you exactly what you want to hear.
The purpose for which Christian abstain from sexual relations before wedding, including with the future spouse, is for having their union blessed by God. Christians have the duty to keep themselves pure at all times; for married people this means having sex only to their spouse, in a natural way (that could lead to conception). This means certain sexual practices very popular nowadays are to be avoided, and that birth control is not an option either.
When Christians fail in this struggle (we are all human), for example they have sex before the wedding, they have to repent and stay away from the sin. Only then they can get married in the Church.
Well, sorry--Christian life sounds tough. But once you are committed, Christ Himself comes to help you, so all you have to do is will.
And sorry for the possibly "preachy" tone. I'm the last who should do that. I've had three boyfriends, haven't married any of them. I'm currently repenting--it's possible.

Answer 3

thank you for asking this. i replaced into proceeding to ask the comparable question. right this is yet another question, which you handle in you added feedback: "Why do conservative Christians understand that 2 single human beings having intercourse isn't adultery?" it quite is not a remember of "maximum folk" thinking adultery to contain a minimum of one single person. it relatively is basically what the observe "adultery" skill. Fundie Christians are in effect attempting to redefine the observe "adultery". yet they are up in hands approximately society's entering into the process the skill of redefining the observe "marriage". accepted fundie hypocrisy and double-dealing. @Roger: the way I comprehend it, Deut. 22:28-29 isn't a prohibition against premarital intercourse, yet a stipulation that single people who've intercourse with one yet another (some thing which isn't incorrect in itself) could bypass and get married. Paying the female's father is in effect a minimum dowry. additionally, word that this rule purely applies if the couple is caught. in the event that they are caught, then the girl's having intercourse will likely develop into public know-how, wherein case she would be ready to develop into unmarriageable. So this rule is probable a skill for giving the girl a manner out if she gets caught. If she does not, then each thing's fantastic.

Answer 4

I have to agree with the other answers you've received. Sex outside of marriage is fornication and is a sin.
Now, I can tell you what I've heard my Pastor say on more than one occasion.
When a couple asks him to perform a marriage ceremony for them, he will not agree until they agree to marriage counseling.
One question he asks upfront is if the couple has engaged in premarital sex.
If they answer yes, he will tell them to abstain until after the marriage ceremony and to ask for the Lord's forgiveness with a genuine repentant heart.
If they agree, he will go forward with the couple. If they can't tell him they will abstain, he will not perform the marriage ceremony.
Hon, it's pretty serious stuff.
Hope you will make the right decision and abstain until after you are married.
Ask yourself a something. Why did you ask this question? Could it be that the Lord is speaking to your heart about what you're doing?
Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I personally think one needs some experience before settling down with a single person. On the other hand, it's clear that the Bible says that premarital sex is outlawed. Period

You're just going to have to live with what you consider to be sinning and not look for some legalistic way of avoiding your decision to do so.

Answer 6

I'm a preacher's kid and former Christian grade school teacher. According to mainline churches' interpretation of the Bible, premarital sex is a sin, even if it's with your prospective spouse. My father would have said, until you say those vows, you have no official guarantee/promise the other person will stay with you. Of course, there's no guarantee after the vows either, but he would say waiting for sex gives both a reason to actually tie the knot.

Answer 7

It is not that the sex is a sin it is that sex outside of marrige is a sin. .

He the two of you love each other and plan on being with each other for the rest of your lives then the two of you need to marry.

Sex before marriage, pre-marital experience, assuming one is talking of sexual intercourse or perversion of the same, the word of God implies it all by calling it fornication. It knows no exception. It allows none. Renaming fornication does not change the act or remove the consequence. Those who commit fornication, sin.

I Corinthians 7:2, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband".

Answer 8

pastor in training here, and i believe that hte bible clearly says that it is a sin to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage. I think god may have established this rule for a few reason, One, to make sure that His children are ready to have kids before they do, and also to make sure that you only share such an intimate, spiritual connection with the person God want you to be with. My prayers and blessings to you.

But always remember, no matter what you do, Jesus will always forgive you. Try to wait until you are married, take a little break form sex, and i gaurentee that on your wedding night, the wait will be much appreciated by you, your boyfriend, and God.

Answer 9

First of all, judy_r8, no, actually, Mary was NOT assumed to have had premarital relations with anybody...hence the whole "How can this be since I have not known man?" part of the Anunciation in the Bible...

Second of all, on to the asker's question. I'm no minister (I'm a practicing Roman Catholic), and this is my view (which I would say is also God's view, but I can understand if not everyone agrees with that):
You're right that sex is intended for intimacy; it's not something to be tossed around lightly. I'm glad you recognize that. :-) You're right also that it's meant for procreation, and if you recognize that you're not ready to be a mother, then good for you, you're thinking more clearly than a fair number of women who find that out the hard way. I know it can be tough to use good judment on this; after all, there are a lot of married people, and not all of them are exactly good role models for marriage. Premarital sex is contrary to God's will. It takes the sacredness of the conjugal act--a beautiful act of self-giving and selfless love--and places it outside the context of marriage, the covenant that unites a man and woman. If you're having sex before marriage, then in a way it demeans the act; it's supposed to be pleasurable, but that's supposed to be the reward for taking on the responsibility of becoming a mother (or father). If you're really planning to get married to your boyfriend, well, congratulations, I hope you have a happy marriage. Secondly, I'd advise you to just wait until marriage to have sex from now on. It will make the expression of your love more meaningful if you show that you are willing to deny yourself until the proper time for love of God and your husband-to-be.
So according to Catholicism (which derives its teachings from Scripture as well as Tradition), it is a serious sin to have premarital sex/fornication (same thing, no matter how much you love each other). Assuming you understood the seriousness of the sin and did it willingly and freely, that constitutes a mortal sin, which breaks off one's relationship with God. But where would we be if God weren't forgiving? If you're Catholic, I would suggest you go to Confession, tell God (and your boyfriend) that you want to give them and the act of sex the respect they deserve, by abstaining until marriage, the most secure and stable environment for a sexual relationship (not to mention the one God wants).
I realize that maybe you aren't Catholic. But I'm just telling you from that perspective, because I honestly believe it is the truth. If you don't acknowledge the sacrament of Reconciliation or have a problem with my advice, I ask you to at least consider looking into Catholicism--not in terms of what it can offer you, but how it can help you offer yourself to God. In any case, I'll pray for you and your boyfriend, and I know that if you sincerely ask God for the wisdom to recognize His will, He will make it known to you (probably in a much more eloquent way than I'm trying to do!). :-)
Good luck,

L.

P.S. Oh, btw, the use of contraceptives is also a serious sin according to Catholicism, another reason to wait until you're ready for marriage and motherhood. If you listen to and rely on God, I know you will be a good mother.

Answer 10

No sex before marriage. Period. There is no gray area here. What you are doing now is called fornication. I don't mean this to be judgemental, these are just the facts. You can't justify pre-marital sex because you are in love, or intend to spend the rest of your lives together. There are no exceptions. Yes, it is sexual sin.