I was at my gf's Christmas party with over 200 people there. The DJ played tunes that she liked, but not much stuff for me. I let her go dance by herself and she doesn't push me to dance to things I don't dance to. However, there was another couple at our table, plus 4 women that talked together in their group the whole time without approaching me. So, I walked outside in the cold to be truly by myself for a while. It hurts more having the opportunity for interaction with no success, than the opportunity not being there in the first place.
I don't expect my gf to come looking for me, as I don't have any "leash" on her, but it still bugs her when I leave. But she knows I was picked on in high school and that has left me being shy, which is why I don't approach others very often. She's quite the opposite and outgoing, (and so tolerant and understanding of me). I need help dealing with shyness, but no advice from anyone who was popular or halfway popular in HS.
2006-12-02 17:39:39 · 5 answers · asked by Eric B 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I believe that u can change anything in the world by ur attitude, it's not that YOU don't fit in,it's THEY dont fit in your world.Maybe your'e a bit like me,i always thought i was shy,and i had to be pretty or naughty or whatever to be cool and fit in.I had a diffucult time back then ,it seemed nothing was working,u know why???cuz i was trying to be someone else that i'm not.Eventually i thought ( the hell with everyone,let people accept me the way i am) so what if i dont like to party,or do stupid stuff to make people like me,does it really matter?The answer i came up with: NO.
So what did i do?i focused on my own abilities and talents,and guess what?? Those people now are looking up to me,and think that i'm cool.( Notice:roles reversed) Now it's My own COOL kinda way.I speak four languages,my works of drawing and painting astonish everyone,i graduated first on my class,i have a decent job and a loving relationship with a shy guy like me that i can be so UNinhibited with him..Good Luck Bro..
2006-12-02 20:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lucifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! I was soooo shy when I was younger that once people got to know me, they'd confess that in the beginning I came across as stuck up! I honestly didn't start to "open up" until my early thirties, when I finally realized that I was tired of being "left out."
Maybe you'd like to try what I did. I decided to be "someone else" when I went out alone (yes, you have to go ALONE- with no one who knows you and will make you feel too self-conscious). Whether it was the grocery store, post office, etc., I told myself I was a happy, outgoing person. At first, all I did was simply be pleasant to the cashiers, attendants, etc. A simple, "How are you today? Hey, cool hat (or whatever)..." Or, I'd hide my watch and ask people for the time. Anything to force me to TALK to people.
Pretty soon that became easier and easier until I could have short conversations with perfect strangers. And you know what?People can actually be very pleasant! Ignore the grouches or the rude people; you're not to blame for their attitudes so don't let that get you down. Most people are nice.
Once you're comfortable being more open with strangers, it'll come easier when you're around people who know you. It might not happen overnight, but for me at least, the change was so subtle that one day it finally dawned on me that I wasn't "afraid" of people anymore.
Life's too short and too wonderful (out there) to live in a shell. So, come out and play! I wish you the best.
2006-12-02 20:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by Luna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been like that all my life. I hate being in social situations, and right now I am looking for work.... I literally feel like I am going to die when on an interview....I don't mind just being home...sometimes...preferrably alone...then I don't have to worry about "what to talk about".
Some antidepressants help....I think Paxil is supposed to be good.... I used to take Prozac...but I don't have insurance now....so I can't take anything...
2006-12-02 17:52:28 · answer #3 · answered by pixles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm still looking for an answer myself, so I can't help you yet in that regard, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
2006-12-02 17:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by hmghosthost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Close your eyes hold her hands and go. Love. God Bless.
If it don't work try it again and again. Hey Why not?
2006-12-02 17:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋