Hi, i am a singaporean girl aged 21 years old. I am dating with a boy, but my future in laws, and my bf family disagree with our relationship. But i still don't care and always come to their house... often.... although they didn't welcome me. When i come to their house, i just pretend i don't know them, i didn't say hi to them. I pretended that i didn't see anyone there, and i just go in to my boyfriend room. Also got one day that i sleep with my boyfriend in his room. When i saw his family member, i just pretend i didn't see them. Do you think what i do is right??
For your information, since i date my boyfriend, the relationship of my boyfriend with his family become worse. They never talk to each other already, because of me. At last, i succedded... my boyfriend sides with me. I just don't care. I am marrying the son, not the family. Teehee
2006-12-02 16:26:15 · 15 answers · asked by ong_kailin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should try to make his family like you. Try to show them how smart, decent, or caring you are to your bf and his family. Because even though you're not marrying the family, you're going to be stuck with the family. Might as well get along to save the trouble that's going to come later.
2006-12-02 16:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by julia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem like i have somewhat. My family dont like my husband. I know how you feel. But i read something in the peice that you had wrote that he is on youre side. Try to work on the problem with both of the families, may i suggest that all of you all get together and put all their dislikes on the table. Then if this dont work remeber you are not marrying the family you are marrying him. Good luck
2006-12-02 16:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! this is a common problem at our continent. But the solution you have made I don't think its right. Avoiding people will make situation worst. Talk to your Boyfriend and tell him to sit and talk to his family. He should make his family understand that he loves you and there ain't no option for them but to accept your relation. You are right you aren't marrying the family, but it will always create problem for you guys so I feel you should communicate and solve the matter. Communication is the best way of solving this problem. Hope you had a great life with your Boyfriend..
2006-12-02 17:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by ryobd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid you are wrong about not marrying the family, if you marry him. As long as they are in his life, then they are in yours too.
It is rude & disrespectful in any culture to ignore a person in their own home, so because of that I believe that you are not doing the right thing by ignoring his family members when you see him at their house.
If you wish to ignore them, then i suggest you stay out of their house.
As long as his family disapproves of you, there will always be tension in your relationship with your boyfriend. It's unfair, but it's true.
It's up to your boyfriend to set his family straight, & tell them that as long as they disrespect you, they are disrespecting him. But it won't help the situation if you add fuel to the fire by being disrespectful to his family as well.
If you have truly succeeded in driving a wedge between him & his family, then the future of your relationship with him is in jeopardy.
That's my point of view, since you asked. Sorry if it isn't what you are looking for.
2006-12-02 16:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are so cheap... cheap and *****...thickskinned girl...U are so stupid. Since they don't like you, why do u want to stick with them by coming to their house. U can go somewhere else. Show them that without your bf family... u can alive. Ask your bf to move out, and since you can dating, means you are clever already right? u can keep alive without taking the parents money rite?? May i ask you something? Are you working or are you a student? If u r working, i suggest you ask your bf stay somewhere else. If u r a student, are u so thick-skinned. Somemore, after sleep in your bf room, u still can laugh?? Stupid. U r a student, please. Too young for a relationship. Can't earn money yourself.
Lastime i also had a girlfriend like you. Because of her, my relationship with my parents become worse. It is all because of her!! Now regret won't do me anything. And now, she got another bf after she dumped, after i did her so many things. At first, i thought she is trully loves me. But, actually she loves my parents money. After she can't get it, she dumped me. Maybe i am too young to believe her.Love is bind. I never listen to my parents advice, and i just trust her. Because of her, i server ties with my family. Actually all parents want the best for the children. I am just too stupid to believe that *****.
And i think u r also a *****, same like her. Stupid thick skinned *****... is suitable for you.
2006-12-02 17:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by Roger F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ong: You are thinking with your ovaries. Acceptance by family members is crucial to a successful marriage. Ignoring his parents is like shooting your big toe. And to think they caught you having sex with your BF, This re-enforces their attitude you are a **** and a cheap date. In their eyes you are not worthy of their son's affection.
What will happen when your are pregnant by your BF and have to move in with your in laws. This a strong possibility. Baby get on the train of reality.
Start mending your relationship with his parents. They are just protecting him from unhappiness. Begin now!
Grandpa
2006-12-02 16:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that you have shown disrespect toward his family in their home with their son. If you and your boyfriend want to be together, then get a place together. Do not disrespect his family anymore. You are only making yourself look very bad.
You should also have more pride in yourself. Why do you keep going to the boyfriends house....isn't he allowed at your house?
2006-12-02 16:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young for a serious relationship. Marriage involves the families, and you are wrong to think it does not, to compete with his family, and to wish to create a rift between them. Perhaps that is why they don't like you. They believe that their son will not be happy with his relationship with you long-term.
2006-12-02 16:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by roxyrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So-o-o-o-o sorry to tell you this, but when you marry the man you DO marry the family also. You're going to have some serious future problems if you marry him.
2006-12-02 16:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by slick chik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually, when u marry someone, u're marrying into their family. u don't have to like them, as not all families get along, and they may not like you, but when u're walking into their house, u really should show them some respect, and make the effort to try to be polite and all that. do u know the specific reason why they don't like u, and u might want to try to show them that u really do care about their son and their son cares about u.
for future's sake, just think about if u really do marry him and u have kids together. they will be ur children's grandparents. and tho u may not like them, but they may want to see their grandkids and ur kids may want to see their grandparents. would it be fair to the kids if they wanted to see them? they ought to at least be given the chance to get to know them.
2006-12-02 16:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋