I want to date men! But how?

Question

I'm pretty sure I'm gay, and I would like to date men and start a relationship. But in my community, there are still many homophobics and even homosexuality is not considered absolutely normal and natural. Therefore I dare not to identify myself as a homosexual in my family, my school, my community etc. But I'm reaching 19 and haven't dated any person yet, and now I feel a strong sense that I want to date a men. How can I do so in less liberal societies?

Answer 1

First of all, I think it would be a hard thing to face because so many people in your community are still very backwards thinking people. It is normal in small town USA (I assume you are in USA, if not I apologize) for that way of thinking. I would suggest that you not date at all in your community. I think you should go to college in a larger city and see what happens. Maybe you should look for a "gay-friendly" university. Once you are out of your town and in a larger city, I think you will find many gay men out there for you.

By the way... I think some guys who hate gay men have it all wrong. The way I see it... for every gay man out there, it reduces the competition for the hot girls because every hot girl that I know is always complaining that all the "good men" are either married or gay. So, they settle for us "average" guys. haha...

Anyway, good luck in your life and don't worry about what others think. You need to be happy with yourself and as long as you are exploring your sexuality with another consenting ADULT then you are OK in my book.

Answer 2

I know you say you're community is not very accepting of gay people however, I don't know any community that is fully. Maybe you should try to open up to your family and friends. It may help relieve a lot of weight off your shoulders and then you won't feel like you're living a lie. I know that's easier said than done, but it's something to definitely think about. Maybe try talking to some people in your area in a chat room and be honest right off and go from there. Good luck.

Answer 3

To thine own self be true.
You have to be your own man..if your gay,your gay. Not all people are going to accept you ,there will always be those few who can't deal with what they don't know or understand. What you cannot do is let this keep you from living your life. Take your time and find a man you can be comfortable with. Once you find him the others will begin to be less important to you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I don't know how helpful this is going to be but my best friend had a similar experience. So he went to a college in a very gay friendly place . . .(Boston). . .otherwise I would say just be open and don't care what other people thing, but I know, at least at home, there aren't enough openly gay men to date anyway.

Answer 5

Crank up your gaydar, there're gay guys in your community, you just have to find them!

Seriously, just go somewhere else to meet guys. There has to be a town/city near you with an openly gay bar or something...

Answer 6

You have to start going out talking to guys do whatever but make sure the people that your with know that your homosexual.

Answer 7

im not flaming when I say this,tell your family,then move to a gay community,like san francisco

IF YOU HEAR SOMEBODY TALKING ABOUT A BLANKET PARTY......RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...

Answer 8

Move away from home! Its the only way you feel confortable and be free.

Answer 9

maybe its time for you to move on and become yourself

Answer 10

just be yourself. don't change. when people don't like you, they'll walk away or avoid you.