How do I get my 4 yr old to sleep without a night light and radio on?

Question

Every night it seems to be a battle with her. We have an 8 yr old and a 4 yr old sleeping in the same room together. The 8yr old can not sleep with the radio or night light on... and the little one can't sleep without it. How do I break this habit? Also my youngest seems to have problems with objects that you wouldn't think is normal. If a clock has been disconnected and it blinks...it bothers her. If things are out of place it bothers her. We are un sure why. Any ideas would be helpful. Thanks!

Answer 1

Honestly, this isn't something you should try to "break". Forcing a child to sleep in a dark, silent room will bring fear. My boys are three and eleven and we live in a two bedroom apartment. If you are unable to split the sleeping areas, you might want to split the sleeping times...put the little one to bed an hour or so before the elder. Turn off the radio and nightlight once the little one is asleep. (By the way, you might want to switch to an instrumental cd. The radio's changing tunes and inflections will interest her rather than soothe her as she gets older. I use Canyon Heartbeat with pipe flute and drums. My son is out before the first song is over because he hears a specific set of notes and his mind knows it's time to sleep.) If she wakes up in the middle of the night often, once the elder is asleep, turn the nightlight back on. Or see if you can put it on the wall opposite the elder to try and hide the glow. Colored nightlights don't have much radiance, but will soothe a child's fears.
As far as the obsessive-compulsive behaviors (blinking clocks, etc.) just reassure her it is fine the way that it is. Don't change things to suit her. If she persists, try to distract her and get her involved in something else. She's at the age where she's learning how things should be, and thinks in black and white, right and wrong, yes and no. She needs to learn the gray areas. Be gentle and reassuring, yet firm. If these behaviors persist into kindergarden with not much improvement, there might be a disorder that needs to be addressed, but it's not much to worry about right now. She's just trying to figure out how the world works. Good luck to you and sweet dreams...

Answer 2

Most young children are uncomfortable in total darkness, and using a nightlight is healthy. Many parents will turn on the hall light (not necessary if there is a room with lights on nearby) and leave the bedroom door open just a crack

Put the 4-yr-old to bed first with the night light. Quietly, put the 8-yr-old to bed after the younger child is asleep, and turn off the nightlight :o)

Another option would be to give the younger child a glow worm toy or something similar. When she squeezes the toy, the face glows like a night light. But when the child drifts off to sleep and is no longer squeezing the toy it no longer glows. If she awakens... the toy is there. It's comfort only when needed.

The radio can become an unhealthy crutch and should be traded for singing songs or lullabies together after your child is tucked in to bed. If she wants to sing songs quietly to herself after you leave the room, that should be okay too...

Answer 3

Maybe have them sleep in a different room than eachother, or have the eight year old get used to a nightlight, because the 4 yr old might be scared of the dark, i used a nightlight till last summer (when i was 11) and I still use the radio sometimes

Answer 4

In India, extended families live in the same house and sleep in the same room in a big tangle of bodies. Throughout the night, people are moving, snoring, getting up, talking, and making noise. And they sleep like ROCKS. Infants will sleep with them, as will children. The infants will wake up crying and screaming at the noise for the first 2-3 weeks, and then after that, they become used to it and sleep soundly despite any noise.

My parents always made sure things were as quiet as possible when I slept. As a result, nowadays I can't sleep if there's the slightest noise, even the sound of loud breathing.

The lesson is that you should not coddle your childrens' sleeping "needs." Allow them to sleep to the natural sounds of their environment- do not add anything or take anything away to help them sleep. They will have a rough time sleeping and a few very crabby days following sleepless nights for 2-3 weeks, and then they will be fine. (I suggest doing this over summer break.) Make them get up in the morning even if they had a poor night's sleep. Don't let them take extra naps. It seems harsh, but it takes less then a month and forever after they will be better off.

As for the "odd" things about your youngest- I don't want to jump and shout "autism" just because she's bothered by things being moved out of place, but you should tell the pediatrician about her "oddities" and see if she can get evaluated by a child psychologist, just to make sure all is well.

I don't want to say that you should be harsh and not coddle children. But, it's a good rule of thumb to look at the things you are letting them do that they might not be able to do when they're adults (such as control the sounds of their sleeping environment) and not allow them to get used to luxuries they won't be guaranteed in adulthood. Just make sure to make up for it with extra kisses and hugs!!!

Answer 5

OCD at a very young age could be the cause for the object misplacement. But if sound or light gets her to sleep then allow it for her own peace of mind. She may very well be an extremely bright child and her mind is running a mile a minute, nothing wrong with that.

She just isn't ready for sleep. Get a motion lamp with figures that dance on the walls and ceiling for her to watch. Also a "sound machine" with waterfall, rain, crickets, birds and all will give her a since of tranquility and thought.

My 3 year old still won't go to sleep without listening to music. So I play "SADA" Smooth Operator CD (her favorite) or a CD of "rain and thunder" she is asleep within minutes.

Try putting her in a different room and give her what she needs to get to sleep. Absolutely nothing wrong with "comfort sound" when it comes to children.

Certain things bother us all...........a runny facet, a dog barking. loud noises....as an adult we can control our environment? As a child we depend on others to control the level of our comfort.

As she gets older she will rely less and less on assistance to aid her sleep.

For now I would find out how to console her distress..........

Answer 6

My Brother and I both had that problem. Try making shure everything is in its rightful place. Also annother thing is well maby its the bed. try having her sleep on the floor in annother room or let her sleep on the couch with the tv tuned 2 pbs or somthing. If u do that though just make shure it isnt too loud. Annother idea is too stay with her after the 8 yr old has fallen asleep. Just 4 5-10 min. She will start 2 dose off and maby if u walk out quietly enough she will stay asleep. good luck

Answer 7

There are light nighs that are smaller that you can put in a spot where only she sees the light. I was always afraid of the dark myself..so i feel for her.Some kids are natuarlly more nervous and anxious fro whatever reason. Sounds like she is one of them. If she has a real problem with every day life and things not being in it's place..she could very well have a type of ocd. For now..treat her fears with respect.make sure her sis does not make fun of her..do not make her feel bad for having fears she can not control. Get a small night light..and watch for other sgins that might be over the top in anxities and fewars for her..you might want to get her checked out to see if she has a disorder if it is troubling her every day life.

Answer 8

The #4 sounds fine. Tell the #8 you need their help with being patient while #4 learns how to sleep without light and radio. OR get #8 a cheap set of blindfolds (I forget what they're really called) and #4 a cheap set of headphones.

Answer 9

I suggest splitting the kids up for sleeping. There is nothing wrong with having a radio and night light on when sleeping I'm 53 years old and STILL have music on and my pink night light glowing.

Answer 10

Hopefuly I which the best for you and you child, I am like the other person I don't play that dark stuff. Went down south with my dad, everyone was talking and I got sleepy so I went into the other room to lay down, woke up about a hour later, I said to myself it looks like I have come down south for the first time in my life and gone blind, was not blind it was just that dark down
there, had to go to the little girls room, but after that didn't have to go. I didn't mean to bore you, I hope your baby get better with that , maybe reading them a story will help.

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