Im getting married at the courthouse and right now we can't afford a big reception or wedding. We thought of just having our family and friends to a place for dinner. We cannot even afford to pay for everyone's meal (we just had twins), but we would love to share this special moment with our lovedones.How should I go about asking them to pay for their bill in a tactful way on the inventations? There is only about 20 people at most.
2006-12-02 15:50:20 · 10 answers · asked by STEFANIE C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What word would you for dutch
2006-12-02 16:00:17 · update #1
when my daughter got married a few years back - they did just that & worded their invitations something like this:
**we would like your PRESENCE to help celebrate our marriage along with other family & friends ; But instead PRESENTS we would appreciate you paying for your own meal**
NONE of the guests had any problems with this request & in fact some still brought gifts.
My daughter & her husband & lived together for a few months prior to their marriage & were to be moving to another town a few months later.
When I married - we had a cousrt house ceremony with just immediate family present & then a picnic lunch in a nice park
realistically - those family & friends closest to you should know your situation & if they are not prepared to share your joy - then they are not worth your concern.
Many couples here in Aus are also ""politely"" asking guest to contribute to their "wishing well/ treasure chest"" in lieu of other gifts.
in todays world with so many couples having llived together for some time & having most of the household items they need - or as in your case ; alreafy having children ; this option is becoming quite acceptable.
the suggestion for a "potluck meal is also worth considering .
If you do choose a restaurant then do make sure it is something that is reasonably priced.
Whatever you decide - teh occassion si really about sharing your joy with your loved ones & NOT about how fancy things can be or how much money is spent.
GOOD on you for keep you numbers limited
CONGRATULATIONS on both your forthcoming marriage & the birth of your babies
2006-12-02 21:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no tactful way to draw attention to your financial situation without making other people feel uncomfortable. If you invite people out to eat, there is an expectation that you will pay. If you cannot, don't invite them out to eat.
I suggest, as did some others, that you scrap the whole idea of going out to eat, and instead have a little party at your home with some champagne and a unique snacky-type food, fondue maybe? Festive, fun, and inexpensive.
I also like the barbecue idea.
2006-12-04 00:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by jael_hk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only have the type of dinner you can afford - don't ask people to pay for their own meals. You should be able to have that many people over to your own home, or at a parents' home, for a decent dinner. Not to go out if you can't afford it.
2006-12-03 08:11:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your short on cash why don't you have "nibble foods" at home ie cheese and biscuits, dips, etc and some wine/champagne. This way they won't feel like it's going to cost them a fortune paying for their meal as well as a present. I know if I was asked to pay I'd find resent it and find someway to get out of it.
Or why don't you ask your parents and in-laws if they would pay for a dinner for 20, and call it a wedding present.
2006-12-03 00:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by gina p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my country, its a BIG BIG BIG TABOO to ask guests to pay for their meal no matter whether they're relatives or not. For one, once they see in the invitations that they have to pay, its like you're telling them that you don't want them there.
I do not know if there is any tactful way to ask guests to pay, but maybe you could offer them sandwiches and light drinks at your place which you have prepared so it has a personal touch, and a lot lot less expensive.
2006-12-02 23:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A really good idea would be to have a potluck for your dinner at either your house or a loved ones. People would be more then happy to share a treasured recipe with you at this special time.
2006-12-02 23:54:33 · answer #6 · answered by elfin420 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can reword the racial slur somewhat or if noone in your family would take offense to the stereotype..... We would like to invite everyone to a dutch treat dinner at 7pm following the wedding at Olive Garden in midtown........
2006-12-02 23:57:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after my wedding, we just had the family bring in food. everyone brought some food and we had a cookout. it's not the best thing to do but we didn't have the money at the time either.
2006-12-03 00:01:20 · answer #8 · answered by Poncho Rio 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
just have them at your house, it is cheap and you can Bar-b-q and a bunch or beers, I know some one who did this everone had a great time and the peopel who went knew about there situation and they cleaned up with money that really helped them
2006-12-03 08:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by bkbarile 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the potluck idea. but there might me a better way to word it than potluck.
2006-12-03 00:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by jmd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋