From 2001 when I was 24 until now, I have had a crush on a Christian girl. It has always been one way - I liked her, she did not like me. In the years that we have known each other, I have done a lot for her. Recently, she told me she wanted to end this friendship because she doesn't want to continue being friends with me because I have feelings for her.
Would someone who is also Christian please help let me know isn't there something in the Bible which says we should try and work things out and remain friends with others no matter what? What does the Bible say about friendship? Does the Bible say anything about needing to end a friendship because of one party may like the other more than friends? Please help me.
2006-12-02 15:07:47 · 15 answers · asked by Stefanie Deline 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am a Christian. I am a guy, using my sister's Yahoo account for anonymity.
2006-12-02 16:14:30 · update #1
Well, there's "Love thy neighbor", ma'am.
But I really don't know if Christianity is the Answer to your dilemma, ma'm.
I'm guessing that you are a lesbian and that your friend is a hetersexual who is uncomfortable with your sexual orientation.
You might want to assure her that your sexual preferences will not come in the way of your friendship, ma'am.
Merry Christmas.
2006-12-02 15:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by Daimyo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is more to it than what can be expressed in two paragraphs but you did a good job.
I am a Christian and the first thought of many is that you did not express your place regarding faith. Are you also a Christian? That makes a great deal of difference in the situation because the Bible does say not to marry unbelievers, and the general thought among Christians is why would you begin and grow a relationship when you know it will end? The truth is when the warm and fuzzy parts of a romance wear off the Christian and the Non-Christiam will have different core beliefs, and I think God wants to protect people from the difficulties in that type of relationship.
If you are a believer you probably already know what is wrong.
The greater issue is your belief in God - think of your eternal life and how God loves you. He may want to bring you to him through all of this.
God Bless.
2006-12-02 23:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you can mend this friendship, you must
1. Be free of any emotional dependency on her
2. Make sure your attitude towards her is pure.
1 Timothy 5: 1 and 2 says
“Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. “
It is true tha “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:4 )
A friend does not bale out when things get difficult, however they also don’t stick around when their presence is a stumbling block. Proverbs 17:17 says A friend loves at all times and love(1 Corinthians 13:4) is not self seeking.
Your feelings complicate this friendship. You must suppress them because there is nowhere for them to go. If that is not possible while you are still friends with her, the most loving thing to do is to keep your distance for a while.
Your sister in Christ
Katherine
PS I know how you feel. I lost a good guy friend because of my feelings for him after he stopped liking me. I pray now that God would bless his future wife whenever I am tempted to covet her treasure. Somehow that has helped me a lot.
2006-12-03 01:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never-mind what Kit said, it wasn't decent or supportive by any means.
Look if this girl doesn't like you, don't pressure her. Apparently if you like her so much that she is worried about even being friends with you, obviously you need to chill out and give her A LOT of space.
I had a crush in first grade, and I kept flirting with her up to like 10th grade, then finally learned to give up. Two years later we went to the Senior prom together and dated. Maybe in the future you will get closer to her but now is certainly not the time at all. Leave her alone.
I'm not saying you are a creep or anything, but obviously she doesn't share your feelings. A relationship is a two-way thing, and from the looks of it you are the only one putting effort into it. Just back off and in the future, who knows when if at all, maybe she'll get interested. But don't hold-out for her, keep your eyes open and someone else will certainly enter your life.
One last thing: DONT compare people to her. You'll never find anyone else that matches everything you like about her, and once you see new people for who they truly are, you'll like them more. If you simply look for a new girl who matches this other one's qualities, you'll constantly be disappointed.
Lastly, once again, don't be afraid to suffer break ups. I've learned that future relationships actually improve because of suffering break ups, because when you have your heart broken several times you begin to know when a relationship is dead and when a relationship is more of a burden than a joy.
2006-12-02 23:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are female (since you didn't say), did your feelings for this girl get so far as to feel as though you are in love with her, the way a man would be in love with a woman? If your feelings went that far, you have crossed the line.
If you are a male, and she doesn't like you anymore, that's ok. Just accept that fact, turn your attention elsewhere, and leave her alone.
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:24, "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go." Like I said, if she doesn't want to be bothered with you, leave her alone, or you will make her angry, then you will have real problems.
You don't have to like everybody, and everybody doesn't have to like you, but if you intend to go to heaven, you have to love everybody, and that is with Agape love, meaning that you love people the way Christ has loved you.
You sound like you are desperate for friendship with anyone, whether they want it or not. I think you should take some time out for yourself, and make friends with yourself first, then you can reach out to someone else. Hope this helped, good luck.
2006-12-02 23:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that God is in control. Pray about the situation and leave it in His hands. Some friends are for a reason, season and a life time if this person is meant to be your friend it will happen if not God will send you another friend Pray for this persons blessings on her life.
Don't come on strong to her and know that All things work together for Good see Romans 8:28.
2006-12-02 23:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think we shouldnt use the bible to justify our actions or to quote the bible to break a friendship. this is wrong. the girl shouldnt use the bible for it gives u a negative picture of the bible. i'm sure the bible has various interpretations for various occasions and we shldnt use it to suit the situation we are in! it appears u are of a different religion. so she is afraid to be involved as different religious belief can create future problems especially if you marry or get more intimate. the girl is not wrong. she may not be right too!!
2006-12-02 23:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
friends is one thing, becoming more than friends is another. you were probably coming on too strong and she wasnt ready for anything serious with you or noone.
she could have ended things with you because she just wanted to be friends and nothing else. since you wanted more she had to end things or continuing hurting you and leading you on, just accept the fact that she wants you as a friend and leave it like that
2006-12-02 23:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by tasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, she's doing you a favor, believe it or not. She knows how you feel, and she doesn't want to encourage that feeling any more. Let her go, and move on from this situation.
People come and go in our lives all the time. That's just life. I'm sorry that you may be hurting from this, but it really would be best to just let her go.
2006-12-02 23:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by milomax 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately a girl decides her own fate. Religion has little to do with that.
You, however, seem to be out of control a bit and that may be preceived by her as a problem
She, however, should not reject love but should bask in it.
You both need to do things, you first, more than likely.
Stop doing for her. Stop treating her better than you would some guy friend.
See if you can work it out, but you will need to do the most work.
2006-12-02 23:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋