I've met a man I'm falling in love with, but I'll have to wait for him because he's dating another girl, plus he's not as mature emotionally as I'd really like. Meanwhile there are three other guys who like me and have made it clear. They're not what I hoped for as far as looks, and one is 10 years older than me. Looks are important to me, because I don't want to NOT desire the guy I'm with and be tempted to cheat, or cool off on him. That's not fair to him. But I also don't want to be shallow and push love away. Should I let go of the guy I really love, and start an LTR with one of these other guys? (P.S., the one who likes me most is kind of overweight and bland looking. I feel I should be patient with him, but I don't love him. Or the other two.) What should I do? Is it right sometimes to settle?
2006-12-02 14:51:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
NO!!! Never settle, you will regret it. The right man will come along...or this one that you think you love will become available. But don't get involved with someone who you know already isn't right for you. Like you said, you will end up wanting to cheat or not be involved and it will just cause more hurt for everyone in the end.
You are worth having everything that you dream about in a man, just be patient and he will come eventually. Take it from someone who settled right into a boring marriage...
2006-12-02 14:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by kathymcbain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very long question with a short answer... You should not settle yet if is not the one that you love...Wait is what I will tell you to do... But not for the one that still is dating someone...Wait until you are sure of that person is the one you want to settle...Good luck!!! Hey I am 36 and I haven't fall in love because at the same reason why Rush when it gets to you just feels right I guess...
2006-12-02 15:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely wrong to settle but I think your problem is bigger than that. You sound like many women who don't feel complete without a man. Look in the mirror; you've got to really like yourself just as you are (on your own) before you're ever going to be good relationship material. Why even be in a relationship at all, especially a LTR, if there are no available men that you are particularly excited about? Someone who's dating someone else shouldn't even be in the equation and there's no obligation to begin a relationship with someone just because they like you. Girl! Get some good girlfriends and have more fun! Nothing wrong with being friends with the guys but PLEASE don't feel like you have to be in a relationship!
2006-12-02 15:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by sweetredbeachlvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle but don't look for something you aren't willing to give back. The person you are waiting on....how long before he will have someone else waiting for you to get lost? If he cared for you and is dating (not married) to someone else, nothing is holding him with her. NOTHING. He should be a man and make clear who he wants, right now she's cake and you're ice cream. She's good all the time and you're melting waiting for him to decide he'll take one treat over two. You may decide to wait for him but I would advise you to keep your eyes open for the one that is good for you because it isn't this guy. If he was the guy for you, he wouldn't make you wait. Would you make him wait? Are you waiting on him exclusive or are you dating other people, seeing what other qualities someone else may have that tells you, hey, I'm better than this. You deserve better.
2006-12-02 14:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't settle. As you said, it's not fair to the guy and it's certainly not fair to you. And leave the involved guy alone. He's not ideal for you right now and might not ever be. If things change in the future, you can go for it. But keep looking in the meantime. Sometimes the perfect guy isn't any of the obvious choices and you need to be ready to recognize him when he comes around!
2006-12-02 15:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by ceci9293 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle you'll never be happy and you'll end up hurting the other person.
Side note don't wait around for this other guy either. Why wait when there are so many other fish in the sea? If you two were meant to be you'll be so in the meantime have some fun and go on some dates.
2006-12-02 14:58:39 · answer #6 · answered by blacksun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't fall in love. You rise in love. What do you mean by "settle"? Find someone who makes you laugh. Do you laugh when you are happy? If you are looking to settle for looks, don't. Look at a picture of Bill Gates. Not too "hot" but look at his buck$. Besides, 50% of marriages end up divorcing. Don't settle, compromise. There's always good w/ bad and vice verse.
2006-12-02 15:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Richard M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never settle on a guy be with the one you love and if your not attracated to the guy it will never work out any ways so why go threw the hassle with the other guys i would walk up to the one you love plant a huge kiss on him and tell him ill be waiting for you when your ready.. and walk away love is love you cant change whom you are in love with go for it girl make your move on the guy you love. :)
2006-12-02 14:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by Beth m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Don't just SETTLE cuz like u said...it isn't fair to them. Just wait until a boy who is SINGLE comes along and is everything you hoped for and more!!!
2006-12-02 14:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Ally G. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should check out my 360 page it might help ya.
Anyway, Don't settle ever always go after what you want no matter what.
Good Luck
2006-12-02 14:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋