2006-12-02 14:41:38 · 6 answers · asked by curious_princess 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Since I am an addict in recovery, we cant be together or I will relapse. Niether of us want that to happen but he cant get clean for long enough to be together. I dont see his drug use as a moral issue. He's stuck and I want to know what I can do to help him. My heart keeps breaking and Im feeling hopeless.
2006-12-02 14:45:13 · update #1
Curious Princess, It is a hard, hard road you are traveling right now.
The feelings of guilt, love, pity, fear, sadness, and anger, are all swimming around in your head.
Good for you for staying clean!!! It may well be the hardest thing you will ever do.
Drug/Substance abuse is a steadfast heavy demon to conquer.
The reality of the matter is this...you cannot love someone enough to get them better.
You can die of sadness but never kill that demon in someone else.
You can be supportive from afar, since your own health, both physical and emotional, depend on your distance from your boyfriend right now.
Sometimes interventions work. Sometimes they don't.
Get yourself to Narcotics Anonymous so that you can keep your support system in place, and make sense of what you need to do for him.
When we love someone that is addicted, we might have feelings of guilt for what seems like our abandonment of them, it can seem that way to them and us as well.
Just remember this is one dragon you have faced and slain and so you know the difficulty that lay ahead.
Let him know you love him, always will. Let him know you will be waiting on the other side for him but the road he is traveling now is a road you can't follow.
Support!!! It is so key for you right now.
This is an overwhelming situation and you must gather around you people that understand addiction, have either come through it, or have a loved one going through it right now.
Direct your boyfriend to different programs, then visit him if possible in the program.
Please seek out your local chapter of NA for help.
Those people know of excellnt programs that are available for both of you.
Again, beautiful work getting clean, whenever you yourself start getting feelings, anytime at any hour...call someone. That's what they're there for.
Believe in yourselves and the two of you can get there.
http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm
Scroll down to the bottom of that page.
2006-12-02 16:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to ALANON as well as AA. A lot of people have problems with co-dependency as well as being chemically dependent. It seems that might be the case with you.
It is so hard to care about someone, see them in trouble, and realise that you can't FIX them. You can encourage them to seek treatment, to go to AA, and to maintain their sobriety. The rest they have to do themselves.
I think that you are wise to not see him or date him as long as he is not solidly in recovery. One thing to look at, is that trying to fix other people can be a way to avoid working on your own issues.
My heart goes out to you. My older brother was an alcholic and a poly drug user. He died of an overdose when he was 40 y/o. I had started to work as a R.N. on psych and chem. dep. units some years before he died but there was nothing that I could say or do that would motivate him to get treatment or to stop using.
God bless both you and your b/f.
2006-12-02 16:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is addicted to drugs you need to get him help. Talk to him about how you feel, how it is affecting your relationship and if he doesnt get help you guys cant be together. I know it is hard but you cant live your life worrying about what might happen to him all the time, and it will only get worse. Be strong hun. good luck
2006-12-02 14:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't. He needs to help himself. Most addicts don't believe they have a problem. He needs to want to get help and go to a detox. I tried to help a brother that is a crack head and he decided to stay with the crack instead of my help. He didn't think he had a problem. I haven't heard from him for 6 years.
2006-12-02 14:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by Chillin-it 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on which "drug" If it's marijuana theres nothing wrong with it, anything else he MUST go to rehab.............aww i just saw your details, sweetie think about yourself, tell him you will leave him if he doesn't quit, if he doesnt care enough to make a drastic move like rehab please leave him before you relaspe and then you guys will be two *** ups. Good luck
2006-12-02 14:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by thicknsexy954 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
buy him a self-help book
2006-12-02 14:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by rubysioux 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋