I have bipolar and am a Christian. I just got medicated for the first time yesterday. I got diagnosed a month ago. I am married and have had a turbulent relationship so far (three years) I have put a lot of it down to bipolar but my husband has some faults too. Since I got diagnosed he will not acknowledge his behaviour and continually tells me that I am not thinking straight. Previously he had come to the place of seeing he was wrong some times and saying sorry. Now he thinks he is never wrong and hurts me a lot. He never trys to see my point of view and cuts me with his words.
I take marriage very seriously and know that if I divorce him I will never be able to remarry because no adultery has been committed. However I am thoroughly sick of the way that I am being treated, so I am seriously considering divorcing him and going home to England. I have been here since march and I have noone but him. It is scary to think of going but I cannot cope anymore. My life is a mess. Kind advice
2006-12-02 14:04:29 · 21 answers · asked by JAM 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The Bible makes it clear through Jesus' teachings that unless marriage has been committed to divorce and remarry would be adultery. I take the Bible very seriously and therefore could not remarry.
2006-12-02 14:29:47 · update #1
I meant unless adultery had been committed not marriage. Thanks for all the answers. You all help and to find the best answer was tough.
2006-12-03 00:15:24 · update #2
Let your medicine have time to work before you make any really big decisons. If your husband came to the point where he seen he was wrong some times then he will come to that point again. I think he needs to see the way you are and think on the medicine so that he can see what is normal and what is caused by you being bipolar. Nobody is perfect in marriage even those who are married to people who are bi-polar.
God Bless you and help you both through this time of trouble.
2006-12-02 14:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by Angie 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Jam, I have Bipolar affective disorder. Please wait a month or two before you make any major changes in your life. Let the meds, Lithium, I assume take effect before you re-assess your life. Remember your husband will need an adjustment period also.
Sometimes bipolar sufferers can be oversensitive to what others perceive as run of the mill comments.
Remarriage adultery? Rethink that one.
Sometimes after medication whole aspects of our personality's alter even disappear but don't worry it comes back.
Good Luck I hope you land somewhere and wind up stronger and happier.
I'm not a Christian by the way so I hope your not put off by the nickname.
Its probably just a symptom. :)
2006-12-02 22:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband a christian? This can be a big part of what the problem is. But whether he is or not, have you talked to him about marriage counseling? And would he be willing to go? If you don't think he would, try to see if he would be willing to go to counseling with you regarding your disorder and that may possibly open his eyes to how he's been treating you. Your disorder sounds like it's given him a loophole for his behavior and now he can use it as an excuse to treat you however he wants. Maybe if brought before a counselor and you are able to explain how you feel the counselor can explain to him how he is at fault. And I understand how you feel about divorce and the fact you feel you wouldn't be able to remarry afterwards. But you also have to think about if God wants you to be in this relationship. Do you think God wants you to be treated this way? Pray to Him and see if you can find out what it is He wants you to do. I really hope it doesn't come down to that though. I really hope your husband cares about you enough to work with you. I have some stuff going on in me and my husband has been wonderful about it. And a lot of it surfaced after we were already married. He has agreed to go to counseling with me and everything. Good luck sister and may God be with you.
2006-12-02 22:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by #1 Buckeye Fan!!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need help. If I were you I would do everything in my power to save the marraige. I have been there as well. I went to a Christian counseller and he gave me the help that I needed. My husband did not go, so I had to go alone. But it saved the marriage. There are some good books that you can find in Christian book stores written by Gary Chapman. One of the books is called "Covenent Marriage" and he has several others. He is a Christian and has travelled the globe doing seminars about saving marraiges.
I know that sometimes things look hopeless, but you cannot give up. With God, all things are possible.
Blessings
Kait
2006-12-02 22:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by Freedom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness I am so sorry. Please stay strong, don't say you cannot cope anymore, pain isn't real it is something we create in response to certain stimuli. Don't let him hurt you, it's good you take marriage seriously and all but if he isnt't supporting you and he is constantly putting you down like that I would seriously say leave him. I know that may sound terrible and all but love you deserve better!
I highly doubt God wants you to be in this pain but you should ask him and check to be sure. Marriage was good in the olden days when people weren't so messed up, I really feel that divorce shouldn't be so shunned upon by Christians because there are some messed up people in this world!
If you have a good group of friends I would suggest grabbing their shoulders to lean on, that's what friends are for. I'm guessing you have family in England that would be good because you could stay with them and you will have someone there for you.
Good Luck and God bless, lots of love.
2006-12-02 22:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by luko b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mt 5:28 -
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I'm quite certain most people have committed adultery in their hearts already. Whether they want to admit it or not.
I am not a fan of divorce. It does sound like your husband could use a bit of humbling. I am sorry for the way you are being treated and your pain. Pray and stay in God's word...that is my advice.
*edit **Adultery is adultery. According to the bible it does not have to take place "physically". That is my point and that is truth.
Divorce is permitted when adultery is involved. It is when your spouse hasn't committed adultery and you divorce and remarry...that is when you commit adultery. I submit to you that most all people have committed adultery in our hearts.
ps. Just tell your husband your sick of his attitude, "wake" him up, and tell him what you think.
2006-12-02 22:12:21 · answer #6 · answered by JohnC 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would really like to encourage you to be patient and deal with him in love.If your going to take the Bible very serious, remember love never fails.I am ashamed of this but I must give God the glory.I was just like your husband it sounds like.My wonderful Christian wife made love her defense against my ignorance.I was always quick to speak in a harsh way and blame everything that went wrong on her.When I did she would say she was sorry and deal with what ever in love.I know this sounds terrible but this went on for about two months.I had developed a habit of always being quick to watch out for #1.When I realized that she wasn't arguing with me about these things like before, I felt so ashamed and then some.I asked Her and God to forgive me.That was about 6 years ago, and today I would put our marriage up against the Rev. Billy Graham.Thank you Lord !
2006-12-02 22:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that I don't know the answer, but after reading your question, I just want to tell you to please hang in there. If you can't leave him, at least ignore his criticism. I've been diagnosed as bi-polar (I believe it to be an incorrect diagnosis, though) and, although I am not a Christian, I'd be happy to talk if you'd like. Best of luck to you.
Edit: I forgot the most important thing of all: a mood disorder DOES NOT equal a lack of intelligence and good judgement. Please remind him of this fact. You are more than welcome to e-mail me from my profile page.
2006-12-02 22:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I am too, bipolar.....and my husband has had to deal with quite alot out of me over the years, but in the past few it has gotten quite better....I have tried many different medications....but most of them just had too many side effects, so I take only take a prescribed medicine for my severe anxiety/panic attacks I have at times.....
Honey....I feel for you on this....people who aren't bipolar do not understand us ones that have this dreaded disorder....and that's sad...especially your loved ones.....I don't know what your main symptoms are but mine consist of having severe mood swings and isolation....I can literally sit for hours and hours by myself in a little room of my home I have dubbed my "sanctuary".....and never talk to anyone, and usually during those times I don't even want to talk to anyone....I have learned to just keep quiet during my "down times"...and try to just calm down.....It is very hard dealing with bipolar...
I take marriage seriously too, hon....I know where you are coming from there, and you being a Christian, yes , the only grounds for divorce is supposed to be adultry.....I have read and heard that....and I don't know what to say about that part but if I were you I would pray on this....let God show you the way....
Would your husband consider marriage counseling?.....the meds will take time, too to start working....depending what your doctor put you on.....some people respond quicker than others and I hope your symptoms quickly get alleviated at least.... I would not like it either if my husband didn't understand...(and he used to did not) my problem.....
People with bipolar sometimes too, just want to be heard....this seems like your case...it was mine...and I would get cut off in the middle of my thoughts, too....I told my husband a couple of years ago that I could not simply put up with a non-understanding man...but I prayed on it,....and finally God lead me to seek professional help.....I also use herbal products too.....
I do think too, (and this is my opinion) that God does not want his people like you to take stuff, either.....just pray on it....that's what I seem to keep thinking to tell you.....and I hope how quickly this matter gets resolved...one way or the other....maybe set your husband down one more time and talk with him on this.....tell him that you simply cannot handle his ways either.....and yes, hon...everyone has faults...some more than others....but bipolar is not your fault.....it's just an unfortunate thing that happens to lots and lots of people.....
If you do decide to move back to England, just know that God will be with you, honey.....even in your most scariest and darkest hours...he will be there......even though I don't know you, I will still keep you in mind.....and in my prayers, ok.....may the best of luck come your way...and God bless you....!!...hang in there!
2006-12-02 22:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try marriage counseling it could help a lot. I have a relative who is bipolar and accept them for who they truly are. Your husband fell in love with you and there's no reason now that he shouldn't love you. Try going to marriage counseling and take it seriously...If things end up in a divorce, you'll be okay...Don't worry. Count on friends & family you trust & love to be there for you. God bless.
2006-12-02 22:08:13 · answer #10 · answered by Kiara 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋