I'm male and i know the typical stereotype is that all men want sex even on the first date. However, it has been my experience that most women are the same. At least 50% of the women i've dated are shocked to find that i'm not interested in the sex at the end of the first date. I just prefer to know a person better before i'm intimate with them. Are there women out there who feel the same way? I've made it a rule to know someone 6 - 12 months before i sleep with them. I'm not getting much but i feel better about myself. Am i alone here?
2006-12-02 13:39:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound like a great guy to me. And no there is nothing wrong with you, although you are the exception to the rule. Sex is never just sex. There are strings everywhere you look. You have the right to feel good about yourself.
2006-12-02 13:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jo Jo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had first dates that have ended in sex, and some that have ended in simple handshakes. I've found that it all depends on chemistry. I've never been the type to initiate the first time...I've just sorta gone with the flow of the evening.
Looking back on it all now...If I had a choice, I would've waited. But I wouldn't have waited 6-12 months. Call me traditional, but even if the first date is going extremely well, I would prefer to end the date with a simple kiss, and hold off sex until at least the third date.
Quality not quantity, my friend. Think of it like a good movie, build up a bit of suspence, but don't take too long because you don't want her walking out.
2006-12-02 21:49:42 · answer #2 · answered by randomthoughtpatterns 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that brother. It just doesn't work and I'll tell you why: If it's important for you to get to know someone before having sex with them, I'm assuming that if you find out someone is not "worthy" before you get to that point, you dump them. So tell me why if you're looking for a virtuous woman you're not cutting to the chase and finding out immediately if she will just sleep with anyone on the first date or if she believes (like you do) in getting to know someone first. Because there's nothing lamer than finding out that the girl that you waited six MONTHS to have sex with usually gives it up after six HOURS.
My suggestion: Make your moves and see if the girl is willing to sleep with you on the first, second or third date. If she goes for it and gets naked and pulls out a condom for you then you can always pull the "This just doesn't feel right" line and leave knowing that she's not what you were looking for. Or you can take the freebie and enjoy it for what it is - be it a lonely girl, a horny girl, or a girl that just doesn't care about holding out for 3 weeks for the sake of holding out.
Good luck Bro!
2006-12-02 21:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by NuYawker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the women were planning on having sex on the first date, they just want to know why the man does not WANT to have sex with them on the first date. I agree with the answer that it makes you feel kind of like a whore (or that you might be though of as one) if you put out on the first date, but of course the guy gets the pat on the back from his buddies.
2006-12-04 01:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by allyza777 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Haha, me too. Actually it took me three years, but in my defense I was a teen starting in. I don't find people I barely know that attractive. Personality turns me on and it takes a long time to get to know someone. Is it the same for you?
Sex is a lot better with someone you've known and liked for a while. And not just the physical aspect.
2006-12-02 21:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone here at all.
Yes, it's true, a huge amount of the human population would be willing to engage in sex on the first date.
BAD! Why in the hell would you do such a private thing with someone you barely know? Not a good idea.
I'm glad to see there are others who are of a similar mindset.
2006-12-02 21:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you're not alone. I don't just go off and sleep with someone. I want to get to know them first and possibly date for awhile before I even consider on sleeping with them.
2006-12-02 21:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Just Some Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No u r not alone, I am a female and feel the same way. Even though I wasn't like that in da past but now I am and HAPPY
2006-12-02 21:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by Boo21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, that just ain't normal. If sex is offered, go for it. Every time you miss an opportunity, you can't make it up. Your hands must be getting tired by now.
2006-12-02 21:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by eddie_schaap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it makes me feel like a whore to give it up on the 1st date and least 2 months for me though.
2006-12-02 21:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by confussed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋