my bf and i dated (and were engaged) over a 5 yr period. he broke up w/me in june b/c i was emotionally distant, selfish at times, etc. plus he found a journal where i had written about another guy (my boss). we were also long distance. after he broke up, i moved to where he lived, got an apartment, etc, said i would work on being a better partner. i gave him space. did not call him or his family (i am very close to them). in august he finally started calling; sept/oct we went out a few times; now in nov we are talking every day and he asked me to spend thanksgiving with his family (although he did ask me the day before); he helped me buy a new car, etc. BUT, in the six months (3 of which we have been hanging out) there has been NO intimacy. he will not hold my hand, kiss, nothing. he says he wants to take this slow and that as soon as we are physical it will mean we are back together 100%. i'm wondering if why this is taking so long? should i hang in there? 4 how long?
2006-12-02 13:32:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you are still in love with him then hang in there but if not move on
2006-12-02 13:35:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kind of in a similar situation. On his side. I realized I had to jump in or jump out and that I couldn't sit on the fence. I think six months is long enough. Have a heart to heart and ask him if he really wants to be with you. If he can invite you to family for holidays, holding hands won't make the relationship more intimate. It's scary to emotionally invest yourself, but that's a relationship without doing so he's being just as distant as you claimed to be. I wouldn't push it though, just make sure he knows that things shouldn't change that much if you do the physical things slowly.
2006-12-02 13:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 years and then he breaks up with you for no good reason? Why are you still wasting your life with this guy. He is not going to marry you if that is what you want. Let go of the past that ship has sailed and sunk, honey so swim to shore and move on with your life. Once he dumped you why on earth would you take him back, he should be groveling, instead you are, WHY?
2006-12-02 13:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After finding out about your "boss" I think he has trust issues with you. You uprooted yourself to be with him, etc... a very drastic move (it doesn't prove anything other than you being desperate). If he loved you and wanted to be with you, you'll know it. I think he's moved on and just being "nice to you" to spare your feelings; no intimacy leads to no relationship. I think he just want to be friends -- move on, the relationship is officially over. The "spark" your bf is looking for has finally fizzled out... I'm sorry, you're "not-the-one"
2006-12-02 13:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by motherkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps, your bf is taking his time, slow but sure, this time. you should be glad he is giving your relationship another chance, as you are partly to blame for the break up. just that, the relationship is now running on his own terms. i guess you will just have to be patient. i think he still cares for you, despite the lack of physical intimacy, coz why would he hang out with you? he is just testing the waters, so to speak. but in your favor, unless he is really worth waiting for, create your own"private" timetable as to how long you can afford to wait. the choice is yours, really.
2006-12-02 13:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by edith i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, wait for him.
He obviously cares for you if he's giving you another chance.
He is just hurt cuz of what happened, ad is making sure that you are back for good.
You have to respect that, and plus..
the longer the wait, the better the outcome.
2006-12-02 13:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Faby'07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hang in if he's worth it and u want 2 always be with him. 5 yrs...that's long. u should be close.
2006-12-02 13:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I son't think he wants to get back together with you. You are broken up. Totally.
2006-12-02 13:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by LSD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, sounds like he is playing you. find someone else before you get hurt. you deserve better.
2006-12-02 13:39:14 · answer #9 · answered by intelligent80000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you will, and probably a couple more before you find mr right,
2006-12-02 13:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋