my boyfriend of 6 mos asked me if i ever had a threesome. i told him the truth and things seemed fine for a while until he finally broke down. he thinks this is taboo and is having a hard time with it. he is always asking for details of the event and gets upset when i dont want to provide them all. to be honest, i dont remember, it was young and drunk! he even has scheduled an ppt with therapist to talk about this. i love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. will we ever get over this?
2006-12-02 13:29:09 · 16 answers · asked by charliesheen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the insecurity is within himself.. so there isn't a whole lot you can do. You can help him, by telling him how you feel about him and things of that nature. But ultimately he has to learn to be secure in the relationship himself.
2006-12-02 13:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same problem with mine, I did'nt think we would be an actual couple i thought it would just be a fling while i was at truck driving school but we are still together 2 yrs. later. We talked about crazy things we had done in the past and to this day he still brings it up to me and if i do something he don't like he says i guess thats your old habits coming back.And then we argue even more and it really hurts me. because i'm not proud of the things i have done in my past! if i would have known we were
but the best thing for a relationship is to never talk about the past to each other. which i did not know that we would still be together .maybe you should go to the therapist so they can tell him to leave it behind and go ahead.
2006-12-02 13:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap, if he didn't want to know, why did he ask in the first place? Don't give him any details, even if he says he wants to know, it'll just give him more to be upset about. Seeing the therapist might be a good idea, but I think it's more for his sake. He's the one who needs help getting over this, because you can't change the past. Good luck!
2006-12-02 13:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he asked the question in order to cause conflict. He's obviously very controlling, manipulative, and insecure. He's the one who needs therapy, but he can't deal with that either, so he is trying to make the situation your fault.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. But you need to find a more secure boyfriend. I guarantee, he will become worse as time goes by, and you'll end up wondering why you ever thought you'd "want to spend the rest of your life with him."
2006-12-02 13:35:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why does it matter to him? It is in your past and he is in your present and future.
If he has issues with your past than this is a precurser of things to come. He has issues. They are not yours. The fact that he says he doesn't like what you did, but then wants details, says that he is insecure and likes to torture himself with it.
He is being manipulating you by using this against you. He's making you feel guilty for fun he imagines you've had without him. He can't handle that fact. He's insecure, is being neurotic, and is manipulative.
I mean, come on. HE IS SEEING A THERAPIST BECAUSE YOU HAD A THREESOME LONG BEFORE YOU EVER KNEW HIM?!!! He has some real issues and they aren't with your past. They are with his.
There are many more men out there that won't care about your past. Why should they? You don't care about their's (or your boyfriends).
I know you love him, but if he has issues with your past now, and he is seeing a therapist over it, he will continue to use it against you for the rest of your life together. Every time he needs it he will pull it out and club you over the head with your past and how it hurts him. "Boo hoo hoo. You hurt me. Feel sorry for me. Pay attention to me."
He is an emotional train wreck. And you can't save him.
In my opinion, from what you've said this relationship is headed for disaster. He makes himself miserable and he is going to make you miserable. You'd be best to call it off and move on. You can't fix him and nobody deserves to be made to feel guilty about their life before they met their current partner.
2006-12-02 15:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love this person so much, i think maybe you should just simply make something up about the story so that he will stop talking about this ! besides, you also should keep telling him that your heart belongs to him now and he should not worry about anything else ! life is short, we should just forget about the past and live for the presence ! hope this helps !!
2006-12-02 13:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by Crazy Boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He most likely wants to get you in bed with another woman. This is kinda the holy grail for men...even more so if you have an open minded twin...
2006-12-02 13:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you need to worry about is if you can accept your past. If you can, well, nothing else matters, even your boys opinion. All I hear is you making excuses for yourself. I bet you enoyed it so what is all the fuss about?
2006-12-02 13:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has some psychological issues? Most people, especially guys, don't get upset over things like that.
2006-12-02 13:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by uhd0rableo8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like the type of guy who wanted to wait till he gets married to have sex...this probaly will mess up the relationship...if he cant learn to accept it...well..you two were just never meant to be...but he still needs to know that was the past and everybodys done stupid stuff in the past...believe me...I know all about that...It sounds like he has dreams of a perfect little pure angel as his soul mate..but those just dont exist...no offense...try reminding him of something he did that runs up in that direction to remind him he's just like you
2006-12-02 13:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by RandomGreed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋