and my baby is 3 mos old...i don't know if it's because of the holidays ( i have no presents for either of my kids since i lost my last job and have just started a new one) or because I'm just having a hard time juggling daycare and work and family life...everything seems to be falling apart and my friends don't seem to understand..they just say oh, it will get better....yeah well, when you know your kids most likely won't have a christmas from you, it's not gonna get better....i don't see how it will....family's not helping much either...i don't have medical insurance so i can't go to the doctor.... can somebody give me some advice..?
2006-12-02 13:26:16 · 9 answers · asked by living_dead_sandra 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
there should be state aid out there that you can apply for also try toys for tots and other charties good lucky and i will pray for you and your kids i kind kind of feel for you my husband just went in to rehab and wont be with me and my two kids for xmas and i am also 30 weeks pregnant happy holidays
2006-12-02 13:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by ashley l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear about your problems. My guess is it will get better, but I can understand that it doesn't help much to hear that at this point.
See if you can find anyone to help watch the kids occasionally so you get some time to yourself. I know you just started a new job and don't have much money now, but if you simply buy very small things for the holidays I think the kids will still enjoy it. What's most important is that you love them and care for them.
At 3 months the youngest doesn't even know about Christmas. I don't know how old the other one(s) are, of course. A homemade card, gift or small store-bought items should suffice. Check out places like the Goodwill store. I've seen lots of things there for very good prices.
Do you think you'll be able to eventually get medical insurance from your job? It's important to do that if you can.
Do you have a minister or someone in a religious capacity that you can talk to/turn to for help? Or a good, kind neighbor who can help you or be a sounding board?
I know it's very hard but you have to try to tough it all out. Try not to get too emotional about it and plan out your days, make sure the kids are safe, do your best at work and hopefully the rest will take care of itself.
Best of luck to you and happy holidays. If you're all safe and together, and happy, that's all that really matters.
2006-12-02 21:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by Shars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, hold on here - take a deeeeep breath. You need to relax for a few minutes.
Now, that you've caught your breath, you need to look at your problems and the possible/probably solutions. To every problem there is a solution - you just need to look for it.
Take care of the main problem first - your depression. You don't have insurance - that should not stop you from going to a free clinic, an emergency room or some other agency that can help you. You need to get stable.
I've had post-partum depression and it's a real bummer but there is medication you can take that will ease and then relive this illness.
Next, your children's Christmas - Toys for Tots, The Salvation Army, your church, any church.
Sort out your problems - don't try to solve all of them at one sitting and in one night.
Make a list of the problems, give them ratings starting with the most urgent needs to the less urgent needs. Then write out possible solutions for each one.
Take a day or a week to do this. Your problems didn't happen overnight - they won't end over night - but just know they can end if you make it happen. You are in control - you don't believe that right now because of the depression and negative thinking. It is very true that you get what you focus on - if you focus on the negative aspects of your life, you will only get more negative things in your life.
Every night or every morning make a list of 5 things that you are grateful for. Then write out why you FEEL that way. Put a lot of emotion into it - it doesn't have to be a lot of words but it does need to be emotional. You don't need to share this with anyone - it's for you alone.
Being grateful for what we do have can enhance and enrich your life - it can also bring good things into your life.
Good luck to you. Get to a free clinic and get that depression fixed pronto.
2006-12-02 22:34:16 · answer #3 · answered by LABL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is quite frustrating when people keep saying that huh. My daughter is 1.5 yrs old...I don't have the financial difficulties that you do but I was pretty down for a bit. Got annoyed when people kept saying "it will get better" or "it's not that bad"....For me, I think alot of it was that she wasn't that responsive yet - when she did start expressing herself more, it made motherhood a little more fun. In terms of your financial situation and Christmas....just try to remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can and no one can ask you to do better. If your older kiddie is old enough, maybe explain that you don't have the money to get too many presents and that Christmas will be small this year but maybe ask if there's one special present that they wanted. You'd also be amazed at what a "special day" just for them can do. Re: medical insurance....your insurance from your new job should kick in soon I'm guessing but until then, there may be some non profit hospitals in your area that may cost less somewhat? Your 3 month old needs to get their shots and checkups...and if you need financial assistance, don't be afraid to go to the city offices and apply for it. Remember - you're doing that for your kids and you want to make everything as easy as possible for them....best of luck to you and have a great holiday and new year....also - for the postpartum thing....try to do something nice for yourself once in awhile. :) I know that's difficult but try....even a small amount of "me" time can do wonders...
2006-12-02 21:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by kristina807 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the health department. They can help you. They will see you for free or for a small fee. the Fee is based on your income. Call around to local Church's and see if any of them or doing an angel tree or something. Most churches will help if you are willing to just sit down and explain everything to them. Hey but if that is what it takes for someone to know that you need help with your children's Christmas then do it and remember that you are doing it for the kids. Good Luck and I hope things will work out for you.
2006-12-02 23:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live but there are generally a lot of charities to help out families at christmas. Also your local freecycle group may be doing gifts www.freecycle.org
There also may be free counselling available if you know where to look. Can you call your public health nurse? They should know what programs are out there. Also, are there any free clinics?
Congrats and I am very sorry you have to work so soon after having your baby.
2006-12-02 21:29:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like your depressed. i know what its like ive felt the same for years. stress of christmas isnt helping you either.
you have to believe though it will get better it will just take time.
you need to find some one to talk to.thers are many people you could consider but i think they need to be neutral. are you religious? maybe talk to a priest etc. or try a charity that helps deal with depression. there are a few out there.
im sure there are plenty of people on here that will be avaliable to talk if you need that.
2006-12-02 21:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you are very depressed and you have every reason to be but you have to be strong and determined, not only for yourself but for your children who are solely dependent on you. Contact social services - look them up in the phone book and ask for advice as to where to go for help in dealing with your situation. Good luck!
2006-12-02 23:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by madisonian51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE CHRISTMAS PART IS DEPRESSING ---NOT HAVING MONEY---ALSO DEPRESSING----THE WEATHER ----VERY DEPRESSING ----- POSTPARTUM MAYBE -MAYBE NOT -- THE CHILDREN ARE NOT GOING TO NOTICE ABOUT THE LACK OF GIFTS---- THEY NEED YOU --- DON'T GET DOWN ON WHAT YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM ___ GET HAPPY ABOUT THE THINGS THAT ONLY YOU CAN GIVE THEM --- SUCH AS -LOVE -WARMTH OF YOUR BODY AND SOUL -- A SONG TO SING JUST TO THEM --THE SOUND OF YOUR HEART BEAT-- AND MANY MORE THINGS LIKE THAT HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH ONLY YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE --- BE HAPPY THAT YOU CAN --- CHEER UP FOR THEM THEY CAN SENSE YOUR STRESS BE A GOOD POSITIVE MOM AND THAT'S ALL THEY NEED ,YOU CAN DO IT DON'T THINK YOU CAN'T THEY ARE YOUR GIFT ,HONOR AND CHERISH THEM , GOOD LUCK MOM ! AND REMEMBER CHILDREN WILL REMEMBER THE CLOSENESS THEY HAVE WITH YOU AS APPOSED TO A DOLL OR WHAT-EVER
2006-12-02 21:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by yvette b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋