Why do people say this?

Question

Why do people say you should wait until you 30's to have kids? THE doctors actually say it's healthier for a woman to have children between the ages of 17 and 29 because there is a higher risks for the mother the older she is. I am 19 years old and 5 months pregnant and my fiance and i are happy. i can't wait! I think i know more about child raising than some 30 year olds. i helped raise my 7 brothers and sisters after my mother passed away and i am apauled that people judge other people this way! I am also more financially stable than some 30 year olds!

Answer 1

You both want this baby then Congratulations. That is wonderful. Most important thing for a child is to be wanted & loved by Mom & dad. To bad who don't like it. Some people should never have a baby, they are to immature & selfish. Once you are pregnant you need to be willing to give you devotion to that child. I was in my early 20's when the first one came.Before I was 30 there was 3 & I never ever regretted doing so for a Min.Older now they are the beat of my heart, as are my grand babies. Nothing anybody has, no money or possession no matter how rich & fine compare to my family.Have a happy life, I did.

Answer 2

Well, to start with I do believe that having a baby at 19 when the father is only my fiance is pretty risky. I'm glad your happy but I am a little concerned that you may or may not have had much time to just do what you want a few years, since you have been parenting your siblings for quite a while.

Frankly, most 19 year old unwed mother and married teen parents are not financially stable. As you know, given your experience, parenting is the most responsibility a person can have. It's a serious job that requires emotional maturity and good judgement, things that are in limited supply with most very young parents, even if they are financially stable. I don't know that many people who say you should wait until your 30's but I do believe that it is important to wait until you have had a chance to live out on your own and married long enough to know the relationship is solid and will last - I'd recommend no less than 3 years married and.

To be honest, I really think if you knew that much about raising children you probably wouldn't have had to ask this question, though I certainly applaud your committment to your siblings and mother's memory.

Answer 3

I firmly believe that at 19 you are simply too immature to have children. And I'll echo the sentiments of some here, the fact that you have a fiance sounds more like a crapshoot than a sure thing. Especially at such a young age. The 19 year olds I know are in college mucking it up, having a grand ol' time and ya know why? Because it doesn't last. All of the freedoms and that sort of 'devil may care' attitude that 19 year olds are so good at is a wonderful thing. At this age you should be living life to the fullest because at 30, you're staring life hard in the face with many important and perhaps life altering decisions. You experience pressures, stress and other elements that you couldn't POSSIBLY conceive of at 19.

You have a ton of life lessons to learn, not to mention life experiences, like all of the the ups and downs, happiness, turmoils, disappointments, accomplishments...everything. You should experience and digest it all as a growing, and maturing individual. I think it's much too taxing on such a young adult to go through all of life's unpredicabilities with children in the picture.

It sounds like you know a little something about raising kids as you helped raise your younger siblings. But you were the older sister, not their mother. It's a whole other ball game being a mom. When you're an older sister, you're pitching in, and lending a hand. When you're a mom, you're doing it 24/7, with the full responsibility of caring for, providing for and enriching the life of your child. It's no lie when people say, "being a mom is the hardest job in the world." My sister has a 6 month old and she hasn't taken a proper and thorough shower that lasts more than 5 minutes since giving birth which says a lot. But look on the brightside, you'll have a beautiful baby to love and cherish.

Answer 4

Because most 19 year olds are not mature, most are not finacially stable, and most regret not having time to live as a couple first before having kids, not being able to do things without a baby sitter and the such.

It often hits after 5 or so years of marriage and one or both feel like they have missed something in life.

Again maybe this is not you, but this is most 19 year old, and even more so on the 19 year old male who is not as mature as the women

Answer 5

Well i don't believe that 30 is a good age, because if you are younger and have children, then you'll get to see more of their lives. Even though my mother had me when she was 33, it had always seems as if she is quite old as I am growing up. I was the last child, and she had my brother, her first child, at 21, so I think that you're age is perfect. Forget what people say, because its YOU who is having the baby, not them. They can have the baby then if they'd like, but I per-fer to have my first child when I'm 20-25. I know I'm just a kid, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about.

Answer 6

im 22 in a few weeks i have 8 younger brothers and sisters, have more parenting experience than most first time mums lol!

it fear with some that a young person can do it better than someone who is older and wiser. thats why most people judge. as a young mum though it will become part of the package sadly, youll be judged for doing it right and wrong. if you pay attention itll get you down.

there is never a right time to have a child. im 9 weeks today and looking forward to being a mum. it was unplanned but wanted im studying so it may get a bit difficult.

Answer 7

What they are really saying and mean is one should wait until one is 30 something to GET MARRIED then have kids. It is said that one is ready to get married so it is said to be OK to also have kids. That is really what they are trying to say.Many would say that one have lived and should be matured by then, But between you and I there are some who still have not grown up and are in there late 30's 40's and believe it or not 50's. lol It all depends on ones health/body when it comes to having a baby and ones mature level of responsibility when it comes to marriage. Take Care

Answer 8

It's not just for the reason of financial stability hon, it's also maturity. Certainly there are a lot of reasons to have children young but there are also a lot of reasons to have children when you are over 30.

I read a few articles about it, and it seems that children of parents over 30 have less chance of contacting ADHD, less chance of having emotional issues, and are apparently more stable in their own relationships later in life.

Does this mean you are making a mistake? Absolutely not!!! Have that baby and enjoy him/her to the fullest! Congratulations!

Answer 9

THERE IS NOT DOUBT THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN. I ADMIRE YOU FOR HELPING RAISE 7 CHILDREN YOU PROBABLY KNOW MORE THEN 30 YEAR OLD WOMEN.. BUT YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO TIRED OF KIDS BY THE TIME YOU ARE THIRTY, AND NO LIFE OTHER THEN WITH CHILDREN. I HAVE SOME CONCERNS ABOUT THIS SITUATION. GOOD LUCK AND HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE SOME STARS IN YOUR CROWNS FOR RAISING YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

Answer 10

I think that alot of it has to do with financial stability and missing out on potential higher education....the financial part realisically doesn't mean anything though because if you look at society...look at how in debt people are how much they mismanage their money! I was 28 when I had my lil one but if you are realistically in a place in your life where you are going to be able to take care of a lil one mentally AND financially...then more power to you. I look VERY young for my age...people have mistaken me for being in HS still and I've gotten many dirty looks and comments made. I would honestly be prepared for that because it gets a bit old after awhile but it does happen alot. Best of luck with your lil one...congratulations....