We have been dating for 3 yrs, own a house together, & are building a vacation house. 6 months ago he moved out, as all we do is fight. We have ups & downs due to disagreements regarding primarily him just not wanting to grow up. Our main issue is his mom though. She is rude to me everytime I see her, makes no effort to get to know me, & always makes verbal jabs at me. She is very manipulative & does it in a way that my bf does not notice. She will cancel plans w/him if she finds out I will be attending, & invites just him to holiday dinners at her friend's homes. He worships her and feels that I am too harsh, but she constantly hurts my feelings & makes it obvious she wants nothing to do w/me. He will jump through hoops for her, but when I ask him to do anything he throws a fit. He will never side w/me over her, as he loves her more & refuses to stand up to her. He would rather lose me than upset her. I also found out that he changed his life ins beneficiary to her when he moved out.
2006-12-02 13:00:41 · 11 answers · asked by blankie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG!! I'm sorry to insult the man you love, but he sounds like a complete whimp! If he can't stand up for you or ever take your side, what kind of husband do you think this guy will make? Momma's boys don't usually make very good men. Lay down the law and tell him you need a strong man, not a sissy. As far as him mother goes, she will most likely continue this behavior, so either get used to it or find a better man.
2006-12-02 13:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels threatend by your relationship with her son. Yeah he's a grown man, but he's always going to be a momma's boy. You should just call his mom, invite her out to luch and tell her how you feel. Don't yell at her or scream. Try to remain calm. Just be open and honest with her about your feelings of her towards you. Let her know that you have the utmost respect for her.
If that does not work then you need to drop this guy. Maybe spending more time apart will help you realize that he's not the one. If he will not stand up to his mom about the way she's treating you then something is wrong. Any man in love with a woman will not let anyone, including his mom disrespect her.
2006-12-02 21:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by tonja20770 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it all when you said "he would rather lose me than upset her" I'd get out. You are fighting a losing battle. There is nothing you can do that will be good enough for her. Not to mention the fact he is a momma's boy. Go out and find you a REAL man. But the next time you have a mother-in-law, look for ways to please her. Win her over at the start of a relationship, it is easier. Usually as long as you are good to their son, they will like you. You might want to look at how you treat your boyfriend.
2006-12-02 21:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by Becky F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He moved out...time for you to move on. Momma's boy and Monster-in-law make for a no win situation for you. Sounds like if you two have this much trouble without being married, marriage isn't or shouldn't be your next option...split the assets now and let him have his mother...you take the vacation house!
2006-12-02 21:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by macknit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you bf isn't treatin u the way u want to be treated or hw u shld be treated. and if he's not willing to side w u thn he's not worth it but if u feel he is thn u shld tlk 2 him and tell him u feel hrt by his mom's actions and tell him wht she did to hrt u and tell her
tht she hurt you. his mom is being mean to you because she hates tht thre is another girl in his life and fears of losing him. say tht you would do anything to mke her son happy if thts hw u feel and try geetin 2 kno her bettr sou wnt fght so mch. ur bf is probably fghtin w you cause he's freakin out bout his mom and u not bein able 2 get along
2006-12-02 21:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by hedrvesmecrzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go! If he already moved out, you have to move on. It'll take time. You can't make someone grow up. Been there. If he chose his mother over you and has blinders on you have to let him go. Your relationship will be too hard with an obstacle like that. I know it's hard, but you deserve better.
2006-12-02 21:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your relationship has more problems than just her. Why do you even want to make it work? If you are going to stick it out you will have to resign yourself to living in a never ending battle over him with his mother and it sounds like you will always lose.
2006-12-02 21:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like bad news. It will probably hurt to drop him but it's probably not a bad idea. I think it will save you from more hassle in the future.
2006-12-02 21:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by dancerkatarzyna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couple's therapy. Honestly.
2006-12-02 21:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by Jes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing, you don't have a man you have a sissy boy!!! tell him that he can ether stand up to his mother or you are leaving!!!
2006-12-02 21:03:57 · answer #10 · answered by surfgirla1a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋