I just found my fiance's profile on an "adult sex finder" site. There is no picture and he uses an alias, BUT, 2 months ago, I found the "alias' name and password written down somewhere, and it has bothered me ever since. 2 days ago, I just stumbled on to the site-- put 2 and 2 together, and found his profile!! He's looking for discreet sex partners!! I have been with him 2 years, not even married yet and he's on the hunt!! My girlfriend says I should make a false profile, and set him up for a meeting.. of course when he thinks he's getting 2 blond bombshells, there I will be..... should I do this??? I'm not good at these things, could it backfire?
2006-12-02 12:15:35 · 35 answers · asked by bossfemale 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You "stumbled" up on a sex site? Did you stumble by not clicking off of it? Maybe you are a little curious yourself?
Maybe you should meet him with another woman and rock his world.
2006-12-02 12:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
As a bloke I thing he is a first class pratt. How would he feel if it was you on the site??? He would not like it would he. If you have the alias and password you could access his mailbox on the site and see what replies he has had and what messages he has sent.
On the face of it he is two timing you. With the evidence you have why not just confront him and see what he says. If he has nothing to hide he will let you see what is on his site won't he. Or you can get someone to contact him and arrange a meeting and you can be hidden somewhere watching.
If he is doing this then fiance or no faince you are heading for heartbreak unless it is something that he did on a drunken night out with his mates and they just use it for a laugh now and again.
Whatever, you need to know what is going on.
2006-12-02 12:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been in this situation so I understand all the feelings you must be having. The sad thing is that you are only boyfriend and girlfriend. You have no rights over him anymore then he has rights over you. Men, especially single ones look at pornsites. I don't think he will find a girlfriend or marriage partner there.
All you can do is get yourself out of the relationship and leave him to his hand, or decide to stay and realize what you will be up against. As far as your girlfriends idea, what if the shoes were on opposite feet. What if he set you up? How would you react? I don't believe he will be ashamed as much as angry and pissed. You are playing with fire and a keg of dynamite.
2006-12-02 12:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to him NOW. Just the fact that you found his profile is bad enough for him. Don't play games (although that would be a satisfying way to catch the creep). Remember, you are the mature one who was ready to make a mature adult commitment and he's out playing sex games. Print out his profile and confront him. The reconsider the relationship. I personally would leave him. You are not married yet, so it is semi-easy to leave this guy behind.
2006-12-02 12:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You "stumbled" up on a sex site? Did you stumble by not clicking off of it? Maybe you are a little curious yourself?
I agree with the previous poster; what were YOU doing at an adult sex finder site? Maybe you've been there before and he is trying to catch you?!
Don't act so innocent...
2006-12-02 12:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by bongfuel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ah man... I know someone that this happened to also! Look, forget it about going through the trouble of setting up a meeting.... you are right it might backfire and why go through such trouble. He's already busted... you really don't need to bust him with fanfare! Unless you're into drama... this is enough drama in itself.
Just print out his profile and hand it to him. Better yet... print it out and put it in the windshield of every single car in the lot that he works at including his! Incognito of course. ,
Good luck!
2006-12-02 12:23:56 · answer #6 · answered by Ocean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow- this one's a doosie.
I think the first thing you have to do is ask yourself what you want to have happen from here on out. Do you want the relationship to continue? I think if you do, then you need to talk to him about it. If you want to begin your conversation about his behavior with a suprise meeting, that's one way to do it.
I think another way is to sit down at home with him and discuss it; just think about the kind of tone you want to set for the conversation.
The other thing to consider is what you expect from him. If you want the relationship to continue, what are you willing to tolerate, or participate in, and what kinds of behaviors are not going to be tolerated?
This is a conversation that needs to be had!! Even if you dump him, you should find out what is behind his use of the website.
He may have a profile up, and have no intention of actually using it (just the idea in it's self might be enough of a turn-on for now.) Or he may be screwing around on you before you even get married.
My reccomendation is to think long and hard about what you want the outcome to be of this situation, then figure out how to approach it from there.
I hope my advise helps, and good luck!
2006-12-02 12:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by slcfirekitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just ask him straight. A lot of people make profiles on dating/sex sites with the intention of never meeting them. For some people just the fantasy is enough for stimulation but they would never actually do anything about it. It depends on how you feel about this idea too. If you dont feel comfortable asking him then yes - make a profile of your own. I think I would.
2006-12-02 12:18:36 · answer #8 · answered by jen 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. I would be soooooo pissed! But yes, listen to your friend, make a profile, email back and forth for a few days, and then tell him to meet up somewhere. Be sure to ask him if hes in a relationship. Then, I woud meet him somewhere and totally bust his ***. How can you trust someone like this after something like this has happened?? I know I couldn't! Good luck!!!!
2006-12-02 12:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by an1 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would either just dump him...or if you are not completly sure it's his profile then set up a profile, get to know him via computer and talk sexually. If he reciprocates then tell him thru your fake profile to call you if he is interested in having sex. Then when he calls you on a number he does not know/recognize then he's busted and you should dump him. No questions asked...just leave him!
2006-12-02 12:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol i guess the only way it could back fire is if he took the bate. i think i would do it. but you have to be ready to tell him that it is over if he does say that he wants to meet you.just remember that you can not jump right into asking him to meet. you have to give it some time.get him interested. i hope that this friend of yours is willing to go with you. maybe you could even use her computer to talk with him on instant messenger. he will think you are out with her so he will be able to talk. in the mean time it will be you he is talking too. good luck and have fun!
2006-12-02 12:25:25 · answer #11 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋