What is the best way to get my 5yr old to listen to simple demands?

Question

My son always picks on his sister, hits her, trips her takes things from her. He also will not listen to me or my wife about running jumping on furniture, picking up after himself etc. He is good for everyone else, teacher, babysitter, Aunts, Uncles. What can we do to get the information to stick in his head. Usually gets put in the corner after we have asked to listen a few times. What can we do?

Answer 1

i never knew my daughter had a twin lol. my daughter is the same exact way with her sister. i have finally found something that works. it seemed like she was never getting it. it was never sinking in. the no biting, hitting, scratching, no jumping on furniture or hanging off the doors. no matter how many times she was told and put into time out. this has been working for me, i hope it works for you. when she does something wrong i grab her hand, kneel to her level, make her look at me and say, "do you want to watch cartoons, or something that she has been wanting to do, play with a toy that her sister has, she says yes, and i say then you need to be a good girl and wait your turn, we share, and when sissy is done she will give it to you. and it works. same thing with jumping on furniture and hanging on doors. if you want to go to the park later or if you want a snack later, you need to be a good girl and listen and not do that. but you have to be at their level and make sure they are looking at you when you are talking. it has been working for a couple of months now. she will be good for the rest of that day lol i havn't found anything that works longer than that though. but hay, i will take the rest of the day for the peace. lol

Answer 2

For some kids time out doesn't always work. You have to show him you mean business. If he hits or is mean to his sister, physically remove him to another room and tell him one time and only one time, not to do the bad behavior again or you will put in time out and take one of his favorite toys away. And if he does it again, take him to his room and in front of him take a plaything away and lock it up where he can't retrieve it. He will throw a tantrum but show no emotion and just move him back to an area by himself. If he jumps on furniture, do not allow him to sit on it, let everyone but him use it. Don't yell, just stand firm and keep him putting him back in his time out place. Same goes for picking up after himself, if it's his room, remove everything but the basics and explain when he starts doing his chores, he will get his stuff back. You parents must keep a united front with this kid so can't pit one against the other or bully you. It may take a while but if he's smart, he'll get it. BUT remember to praise him when he is good, hugs and little rewards go a long way. Sometimes you just need to spend a little more time on him so he won't be acting up to get attention. Remember, if you don't have control now...just wait until he becomes a teenager...it will be much worse if not impossible.

Answer 3

First off, you use the words "simple demands"...maybe you are demanding too much or just being demanding. 5 year olds are just that...five years old. It has taken you all your years to finally get things right and us adults, (I am a mother) have to realize that even we make mistakes when we are suppose to know better. The fact that your child listens to everyone else but you, (and I am sorry to say this), must mean that others are expressing themselves differently and are following through on their threats and or praises. Parents often threaten and then they don't follow through. The children then lose respect for their parents and see their threats as ways of bargaining. Try using a reward system when he is good and using a punishment when he isn't but be consistent. Consistency is the most important tool that parents should utilize.

Answer 4

Your problem is that you wait "a few times" after telling him to listen before you punish him.
You need to get him to listen the FIRST time. If he doesn't, THEN put him in the corner.
He doesn't listen to you because he knows he can continue to ignore you a few more times before you'll do anything about it.
He also needs to know that what he's doing to his sister is hurtful and that HE wouldn't want to be treated that way, so it's not nice to treat others that way.
He's ok with the babysitters and relatives because they most likely spoil him. That's a no-no. You need to lay down some new rules and make sure every other person who cares for him is aware of the rules and enforces them.

Answer 5

First of all, when you wish for him to listen to you at a specific time, get between him and whatever he is doing at the time. If he is watching television, turn down the sound and stand in front of the screen. Get his eyes on you. When you have his attention, get down on his level and speak firmly about what you wish him to do. Don't ask, tell! You are the parent. Don't get upset if he gets mad at you. It's not your job at this point to be his friend. You must establish your authority. That doesn't mean treating him like a dog or a slave. But he must understand that you are in charge of him and that you have his best interests in mind. Some day, when he is a happy, well-adjusted adult he will thank you, and then you can be friends!

Answer 6

With my 5 year old stepson, things were pretty much the same way. Now, when we want him to pick up after himself, we tell him it's his chore and he gets a dollar for every chore he does. He saves the money in his piggy bank to buy his own action figures. We also use time outs, especially me, but his father is a big fan of the 'One....two...three' rule, where by the time you get to two, you realize you don't want to spank them and say 'two and a half....two and three quarters'. lol As far as picking on his sister, that's way out of line. I know when my cousins used to pick on me and get caught, their parents would usually do the things they did back to them. I remember my uncle saying 'It's like if a dog bites you, you bite them back...they eventually learn their lesson'. Though, I don't recommend that, just made me remember.

Answer 7

What you have to do is start taking away the things she likes the most. Then don't let her get no desert after dinner, make her clean her room before doing anything, you have to be on top of those things other wise she's going to become a spoiled bratm, and that goes for any other children of yours.

Answer 8

stop asking him. your the parent you need to tell him. and you said that you ask him a few times. you should only have to tell him one time.the corner does not seem to be working.so you need to try other forms of punishment. send him to his room,take things away from him,when i was a kid. the one that really got me. is when i did something bad and my parents had plans on the family doing something, they would tell me that i could not go because of what i did. they stuck to it, even if it was a week later.when he acts out, don't let him sit and watch TV that's another one that kids don't like.when he wont clean up his toys, you do it but put them someplace that he can not get to them, and tell him that when he can learn to clean up he will get them back.dont let him fool you by him picking up one time. make him wait until he can do this with out being told to clean up before giving them back

Answer 9

Get a little firmer. State your request once. Move him out of the corner and send him to his room. Set a time limit. Be consistent. Consistency is where most of us fall short in discipline.

Answer 10

the best way to deal with a 5yr is to sit and listen, ask what thy think would be the way for his to be good and mind all the time. he just want attention and to be just like dad. Herrington.