than that is just how she is, and if you love her, then you accept her like that.
but try to talk to her about it in general not just when she hurts you.
i wish you 2 all the best.
2006-12-02 11:25:11
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answer #1
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answered by kimzzooo 3
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Of coarse it matters.
If the relationship has been short there can be more to it...She could of been abused in past relationships and put through what she is putting you through,It may be her way of being strong and not allowing it to happen again but it still does not make it right.
If you have been together a short ttime then your whole life has not been discussed and yous are still finding out about each other and because this is happening I think it would be good time to sit and discuss...ask her why she does this to you if she has no answer or simple I do not know then you may want to ask her straight out if she had bad past(pace her for the question first)If she gets mad at it or defense there may be a chance that is where it is coming from and she is not ready to discuss it at this time.Then it would be up to you if you want to stay with her for a longer time to see if she brings it up as it would have her to think and ask herself if she should tell you if time passes and she does not bring it up again,then you will have to decide again at that time.
If she says It is how iI am deal with it or anything along those lines then it may be time to move on and find someone that is going to treat you right respect you and appreciate you.
If the relationship has been going for sometime going on 2 yrs or so then chances are you know each other quite well it has been long enough to be comfy and open for that type of issues and you would of known by now that she went through something simular.
It is a matter of determining things...If she has been abused herself this may be her way of being strong and not allowing it to happen to her again and she is reflecting it on you which still does not make it right and it is time to talk and figure it out with alot of openness,and support(she may need profession help)
If it is over that is just the way she is then it is time to tell her that you do not deserve this and not going through it anymore.
If she cries it is not because she loves you or is sorry she does not know what love is it is out of making you feel guity as she does not want to lose what she has for her sake and selfishness
2006-12-02 11:53:13
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Being a retired mental health professional of 20+ years experience, I can say I have never, and I do mean never, seen or heard of love including consistently or chronically hurting the object of one's love, regardless of the apologies. I have heard, however, consistently I might add, of pathological individuals claiming to love someone, repeatedly hurting the loved person, and following up with tears and apologies and promises to do better in the future. These people, and that includes the beloved as well, seem to only know "love" as something including abuse or consistent hurt, whether that be physical pain, mental pain or spiritual pain. My advice to you is for you to rethink your "definition" of love, and think again about whether you are in a loving relationship or a pathologically destructive one. I might recommend an extremely good book written by a psychiatrist back in 1978, entitled "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, M.D.. His book stayed on the NY Best Sellers List longer than any other book, fiction or nonfiction, ever had, and he wrote many other books that were on the NY Best Sellers List as well. The second section of his book is entitled "Love", and he gives you his definition of love and talks about "loves" that he sees as destructive and/or irresponsible instead of supportive or nurturing, etc.. I recommend people read the first section first, however, but since I am all too aware of people's impulsiveness, I doubt you will follow my recommendation any more than others did, but it's well worth the effort, since his definition of love is based on the first section of his book, and you'll understand it better if you do. It is written in easy-to-understand English, so don't be afraid because some "M.D." wrote it. You can read it and understand it as well. Get to it, and rethink that relationship you're in. God Bless you.
2006-12-02 11:36:37
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answer #3
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answered by ? 7
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Your girlfriend shouldn't hurt you all the time...A relationship should be more good times than bad. I think you need to take some time and figure out if this is the way you want your relationship to be. I don't think she is going to stop acting like this towards you or she would have stopped long before you had to question your relationship. Good Luck in what ever you decided to do.
2006-12-02 11:28:42
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answer #4
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answered by Punk_Chick 2
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She may be in love with you but that does not mean that she's acting out of love and concern for you. Real love means putting someone else ahead of yourself, caring about their feelings and trying to make them happy. It sounds like she wants you to make her feel better. If it's all take and no give, then it's not a healthy loving relationship. Someone's out there who will treat you a lot better. Don't get stuck with someone abusive.
2006-12-02 11:26:30
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answer #5
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answered by Someone who cares 4
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You can love someone with all your heart, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be loved by you.
If she keeps hurting you, I'd move on. Love is awesome, but being constantly hurt isn't worth it in the long run. You need to tell her that if she doesn't stop, you're leaving.
If she's truly sorry about hurting you, she'll try to stop it from happening.
2006-12-02 11:25:38
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answer #6
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answered by mikah_smiles 7
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I think that its wrong that she hurts you all the time! she may love u but shes taking advantage of the fact that u always forgive her. u need to talk to her about it and just tell her that u dont think its right and that if she keeps doing that, ur not sure if things are gonna work. u gotta be nice, but if shes hurting u alot then not only will it affect ur relasionship, but the things she says will affect u emotionally for a long long time.
2006-12-02 11:24:50
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answer #7
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answered by laurenruthh. 1
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YES...it matters a person who loves you should not belittle you or call you names or put you down...your gf sounds like she needs to figure out some things in her life..perhaps she doesn't mean to say the things she does,but that doesn't erase the fact that she said them...she is taking you for granted...if my boyfriend said things to mentally hurt me constantly I would kick him to the curb so fast...but since your 110% sure she loves you , perhaps kickin her to the curb isn't the answer...maybe just a brief break will do...you guys just need to evaluate your relationship...b.c if you keep going to way you guys are it will only get worst not better...best of luck :)
2006-12-02 11:24:17
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answer #8
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answered by soulfullilangel 2
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mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse in my oppion. why daont the both of you go to a pshycitrist ( i cand spell) and talk it over shecould have something wrong with her (not in a bad way at all) that makes her Hurt u without relizing it . plus its not very good 4 her mentally if she continues to hurt you this could lead to thoughts of suicide bc shelll feel sa if she is hurting the people that she loves the most (u). did she get mentally abused alot w/e she was growing up or did people hurt her alot??
2006-12-02 12:06:59
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answer #9
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answered by Because The Drugs Never Work 2
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Your g/f is gonna hurt u sometime or another. We all hurt eachother's feelings but it's a matter if these things are becoming a habit. Also take in consideration if she is doing things to hurt you out of ignorance or if she is hurting you on purpose. Let her know what kind of things hurt you so she is aware of them.
2006-12-02 11:25:28
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answer #10
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answered by gweengrl89 2
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If someone loves you they won't hurt your mentality. Unless she really don't realize it or you never told her. However, if its real clear and obvious and she says shes sorry but continues to do it then shes not truly sorry and maybe you should think about the relationship if she doesn't make changes.
2006-12-02 11:28:54
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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