My sister has 3 children 6, 14, and 16 he is in the middle. about a month ago his father went to jail for threats agaist his mother, him and his dad never had a close relationship, and his father abuse him with harsh words and threaten him a lot as well, he always in troble at school. and so far since the dad left it got worse, actually I thought things was gonna be better for him. his mother got a male friend, which he don't like him and let him know it too. my sister always gave him everything he desired, he recently is hanging around with a group of bad boys that is stealing, she think that he invole too. she says that she would rather put him in jail, and said she is fed up with his behaviour at school, at home, etc. What can she do with a boy this age? and what do you think what is going on with him at this time.
2006-12-02 10:36:30 · 12 answers · asked by birdsdafly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he is upset and acting out, which is typical, if his father treated him that way, then now his mother has brought a new man into the picture,,,,, i dont know what time frame you are talking about, how soon its been since his father went to jail, that could make a difference,,,,,, she can take him for counseling if he hasnt been, or even back if he has been,,,,,, a psychologist, not a psycharitrist, is usually best,,,,,,,,,call your local mental health center,,,, you could even take him to appointments,,,, if you live close,,,,,,,,,
ps: i would really be concerned about a mother who "wanted " to put her child in jail, especially at that age,,,,, does she want to pass off the responsibility? he will learn more bad habits and possibly be raped and killed in jail, or even a juvenille place
2006-12-02 10:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your nephew is acting out because of the lack of attention he got not only from his father, but now from the mothers new boyfriend and also his own mother. Sad that she puts the b/f over her own child. If you know he is stealing, talk to him about it and tell him that he has a good chance of following in his father's footsteps if he continues this behavior. Make him feel good about himself, tell him that he is better then all the circumstances he has had to deal with at such a rough age. Jail is not the solution, its a shame the mother thinks it is. Besides that, he is a juvenile and the mother is responsible for him. Advise him to talk to a counselor at school too, for help and guidance.
2006-12-02 18:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by tmp326 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 14 too. Poor kid, your teenage years are tough enough on you. If his mom is cold-hearted enough to give up and say she would rather send him to jail.. thats a problem. Most likely his behavior at school is becuase of his lack of attention at home. If you really want to help this boy, take him in to live with you for a while. tell your sister you want to try to shape him up. Maybe it will act like a boot camp for him. I have seen people do this in situations before and it has worked out. When you take him in, ban him from being with these "bad friends". To make sure he doesnt hate you, though, spoil him just a little bit. I really hope everything works out alright. I can't imagine what this boy or his mother are going through right now...
good luck and GOD BLESS!
2006-12-02 18:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by lala89 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Weather he liked his dad or not that can be a life changing thing... He's probably just an angry kid... Don't put him in jail... Never give up hope... If he was ever a good kid then that is still there somewhere... He's probably an angry kid though... Some kids are bad because thats really just who they are... because of how they were raised... they're parents really didn't care... Some just fall into the wrong crowd... A lot of the time they end up pulling out of it though.... Find a relative that he trusts... that he'll talk to... Please.... Don't give up on him......
2006-12-02 18:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by ksm_623 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As his aunt, you might be in a good position to reach out to him ... directly. Do you want him to live the sort of life you're living, rather than the one he's growing into? Perhaps a heart-to-heart is in order. Most teens, I think, have severe doubts about themselves, they feel lost, and he is in a particularly bad situation. Even if they will deny it with every ounce of their fibre, acting out is just a way to ask to for love and attention. Tell him how much you care about him, most importantly tell him he's *too smart* for that stuff, that he can do better. Tell him he has something to prove to the world, and that something is not that he's a total badass. He has to prove that he can use his talents productively. I'm sure he has talents that you appreciate, tell him what these are, tell him outright that you think these things about him are amazing, and that he's wasting himself. And whatever you do, don't confront him on these self-esteem issues, just be supportive and positive...
2006-12-02 18:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Me Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poor lad has been through alot and at 14 he is having to cope with alot of anger and hurt and confusion etc. I think being angry and fed up with him is not the way to sort him out but giving him lots of love and understanding and support. He needs to talk to someone who he feels close to maybe his mum or you he needs to get it out of his system exactly how he is feeling and whats going on in his head and someone who will listen to what he has to say and understand. Bad behavior is not acceptable but when a kid is hurt and confused it usually comes out in their behavior. All the best
2006-12-02 18:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being in the middle is just as hard as being the oldest or youngest. his outlet for frustration, anger, sadness, etc is turning to his friends who provide negative influence on him.
he is old enough to understand right from wrong and should definately be repremended for his actions. he should be more involved with family and have him spend more time with the fmaily instead of being out all the time. he should be given responsibilities to teach him that its work before play. there doesnt need to be a man around to mold your child or help him grow. you just have to teach him and show him that you are there to care for him and protect him, love him, etc.
if all else fails, there are boot camps or you can talk to sherifs about probation or being held in a facility for youth.
goodluck.
2006-12-02 19:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to contact Social Services
2006-12-02 18:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow that's hard but i guess i would ground [and when i say ground that doesnt mean "no tv" it means nothing, tv, internet, outside, if there's an afterskool program he should be in it, take away everythig that he likes until he does better in school and at home...say that u dont wanna choose his friends but if he keeps it up then you will and threaten to homeschool him...]
2006-12-02 18:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by B3. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Bad kid boot camp. Seriously. Bad kid boot camp. IT will straighten him out.
Then have the family go to family counsiling and have Momma start going to her own sessions.
2006-12-02 18:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋