How can one accept to be dependent on others, by disability, illness or old age? How do one accept no to be able anymore to do simple things one used to? And, mainly, how can one bear to have to ask things from others, and ask and ask... It's not as much a question of pride as of not wanting to harass others.
All serious answers will be highly appreciated.
2006-12-02 10:31:57 · 6 answers · asked by Beatrice B 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Thanks for your answers. I am not, actually, that bad. It is just that, after 2 surgeries in a year, and some remaining problems, I can't carry anymore, can't hoover, can't bent, can't do a lot of things I used to. I am, therefore, expecting my children (16 and 12) to do most of the work at home (vacuum, wash the floor, hang up clean linen, carry the shopping bags etc..). They do a lot, but for most things, I have to ask, and ask again, feeling then miserable and sometimes sounding reproachful. I am fed up with my own inability, but, mainly, with expecting too much of them... I just don't know what to do anymore: should I keep asking or just forget about keeping the house tidy? Both would be hard for me.
2006-12-03 09:33:09 · update #1
I feel your pain and empathise with you. Losing one's independence is a very troubling situation.
Some family members, and many friends that love you will be glad, (or even honoured), to help out. So will many other people that you have helped in the past.
There should be no harrasment if you spread the help among several individuals, so that no one is overworked. You can also hire some professional assistance for some of the less pleasant chores. (such as toilet chores etc.) But friends will be happy to help out. You'll be surprised. Some people may not be happy but that is easy to discern. Avoid those fair weather friends.
Rev up your courage and ask.
Good luck.
Doc. Dan.
2006-12-02 10:34:37 · answer #1 · answered by Dan S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should only do for others what they cannot do for themselves and vice versa. You should only really depend upon God totally. When you are ill well i was their are people who are good at helping those in need and i write need. If its too much say i have had enough now thank you.
2006-12-02 10:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by denise g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and ask people. One day they themselves may become dependent. Also- if you're asking you're children think of how dependent they have been to you- and they are giving you something back in return.
2006-12-02 10:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By being dependent you are allowing others to display God's grace.
2006-12-02 10:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have good friends and loved ones they wont feel harassed they will be only too glad to help I'm quite sure they would feel worse if you needed help and didn't ask and struggled to manage without them
2006-12-03 04:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be helpful
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/
2006-12-02 13:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by LIz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋